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Author Topic: Great Aggie Jokes thread  (Read 49744 times)

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JIHawg

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Great Aggie Jokes thread
« on: March 26, 2007, 08:15:02 am »

A Harvard grad and an Aggie were competing for a job, and the interviewer couldn't make up his mind which one was the better candidate, so he gave them an assignment, go write a poem using the word Timbuktu.

The Harvard grad came back with his poem....

Across the shifting sands,
the pale moon echoes through the night,
shadow work in the corners of my mind..
of love forever lost.....
in Timbuktu.

"Wow, that's a great poem", said the interviewer.  He then turned to the Aggie to hear what he had written.  The Aggie proceeded to read his poem.

My friend Tim and me,
met these girls three,
we partied and danced the whole night through,
and having nothing else to do..
I buck one and
Tim buck two.
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Hollywood_HOGan

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2007, 08:18:23 am »

frick the aggots.

those idiots don't deserve anymore attention.

they're aTm for gosh sakes! They do not matter
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RazorRaider

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2007, 08:20:56 am »

Why did the Aggie family push their house down the street in the middle of Decmeber?

They were trying to push start their furnace.
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BigDeal

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2007, 08:24:28 am »

Do note there are some Aggies that are reading this board. Get ready to have to explain these jokes over and over for them to understand.
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94 Hawg

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2007, 08:31:48 am »

     A 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery near College Station. The Aggie fire department uncovered 700 bodies.
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kgr

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2007, 09:02:39 am »

From where do Aggie jokes come? 

True stories.



What does a graduate of the U of T call a graduate from T A&M?

Boss


Back when the U of T and T A&M played on Thanksgiving, the aggies fired their cannon and the longhorns mistakenly left the field, thinking it was halftime gun.  It only took the aggies 7 plays to score.
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PorkerOinker

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2007, 09:04:02 am »

QUESTION: You know how to get a Texas A&M cheerleader in your dorm room?

ANSWER: Grease the door frame and shove like hell.
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ProfusionalHog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2007, 09:04:51 am »

How about the 70 year old aggie that goes to see the Doctor for his annual checkup. The Doc tells him he has some bad news and some worse news. The bad news is...you have cancer. The old aggiue says that's horrible, what the heck could be the worse news? The doc says.....you have alzheimer's. Then the aggie says.....well at least I dont have cancer.
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MrsPiggy

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2007, 09:11:45 am »

Q:  How do you get a one-armed Aggie out of a tree?

A:  Wave
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Ex-Trumpet

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2007, 09:17:40 am »



Blow wind, blow!!
« Last Edit: March 26, 2007, 09:31:10 am by Ex-Trumpet »
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Porkem

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2007, 10:20:34 am »

A visitor.  No...wait...a longhorn's bitch!

Hit that line! Hit that line!  Keep on going...
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Porkem

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2007, 10:28:16 am »

Do you know how to keep an Aggie in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow?
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PennHOG

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2007, 10:34:05 am »

An Aggie took a trip to Houston one day.  He drove almost to there when he saw a sign that said, "HOUSTON LEFT".  So he turned back around and went back home.

An Aggie was walking down the street one day and saw a sign that said, "WET CEMENT".  So he did.
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Porkerpower

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2007, 10:34:28 am »

Know how to tell where a rich aggie lives?


Diving board over the septic tank.
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porkchopscott

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2007, 10:35:25 am »

What do you get when you have 32 aggie fans together.... A full set of teeth
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Porkerpower

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2007, 10:35:27 am »

Know how to tell where a poor aggie lives?


Hangs his toilet paper up to dry.
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Porkerpower

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2007, 10:36:29 am »

What's the slowest thing in the world?


An aggie funeral procession with only one set of jumper cables.
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98hogs

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2007, 10:37:28 am »

Did you know that in College Station the movie Deliverance is a Love Story!
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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2007, 10:37:59 am »

Know why the aggies put artifical turf on Kyle Field in the 70's?

To keep the homecoming queen from eating the grass.
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Porkem

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2007, 10:39:00 am »

sorry...my bad.  There was already another thread for aggie jokes...mods feel free to move this if you want.
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porkchopscott

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #20 on: March 26, 2007, 10:39:57 am »

a Aggie takes his 14 year old daughter to the Doctor for birth control. Doctor said is she sexual active, the Aggie Say's hell no she just Lay's there just like her mamma
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ErieHog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2007, 10:40:00 am »

What's the most beautiful thing to ever come out of College Station?






Texas State Highway 6.
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bphi11ips

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #22 on: March 26, 2007, 11:07:09 am »

Hear about the Aggie terrorist whose first assignment was to blow up a bus?

Burned his lips on the tailpipe.
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KY Hog Man

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2007, 11:12:54 am »

Q   =  How do two Aggies find themselves at night?

A   =  Delightful!
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biggiepiggie

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #24 on: March 26, 2007, 11:15:22 am »

I found out the Texas state legislature is requiring all cars
now to be equipped with light dimmer switches placed on
the floor, like years ago.  Seems the rash of accidents
with Texas Aggies getting their foot hung up in the steering
wheel has become very serious.
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grizzlyhawg

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #25 on: March 26, 2007, 11:45:22 am »

How does an Aggie spell the word "farm"?


"E-I-E-I-O"
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hornhog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #26 on: March 26, 2007, 11:46:08 am »

TEXAS A$M school motto  "WHERE MEN ARE MEN AND SHEEP ARE SCARED"
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hornhog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #27 on: March 26, 2007, 11:49:07 am »

A$M quit playing Texas Tech because they wouldn't play anyone with "TT" on their helmets
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hornhog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #28 on: March 26, 2007, 11:56:04 am »

Only at A$M would they build a scoreboard for dead dogs

The link      http://www.roadsideamerica.com/pet/reveille.html
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Squealsonwheels

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #29 on: March 26, 2007, 12:00:42 pm »

Know why the aggies put artifical turf on Kyle Field in the 70's?

To keep the homecoming queen from eating the grass.
+1   Good one
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jwdento3

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #30 on: March 26, 2007, 12:15:36 pm »

With 52 seconds left in the football game at College Station, Rice was beating the Aggies by 5 but the Aggies had the ball deep in Rice territory.  When the train came rumbling through and blew its horn, Rice thought the game was over and left the field.  Two plays later the Aggies scored and won the game.
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model12

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #31 on: March 26, 2007, 02:11:31 pm »

A young lady who attended aTm went home one weekend and informed her Aggie mom and Aggie dad that she was pregnant.  Frustrated, Aggie dad left the room.

Aggie mom responded with "Honey, are you sure it's yours?".
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Ex-Trumpet

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #32 on: March 26, 2007, 02:28:20 pm »

The dumbest Razorback on campus transferred to A&M--raised the cumulative IQ of both schools...
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BigArkyintheRock

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2007, 02:45:45 pm »

Check this out...Loupot's Bookstore, in College Station, Texas.

A hurricane is churning in the Gulf...and those Aggies board up the windows from the....INSIDE!!  

link to pic/comments:

http://www.willisms.com/archives/2005/09/texas_am_aggie.html

 ;D
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whatsshakinbacon

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2007, 11:30:39 pm »

I'll start:

A Razorback fan, a Longhorn fan, and an Aggie were walking down a farm road together.  They look over to see a sheep entangled in barbed wire, and obviously struggling to run from them.  The Razorback pauses and looks at the other two and says "Man, I wish that was Cindy Crawford."  The Longhorn then looks at the other two and says "Man I wish that was Faith Hill."

After a few moments of thought, the Aggie turns to his companions and says "Man I wish it was dark."

Bacon out...
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oldbooniehog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #35 on: March 26, 2007, 11:36:00 pm »

Did you hear that the library on the campus of Texas A&M burned?

Destroyed the whole collection.

Both books....and one hadn't even been colored in yet!

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Junkyard Hog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #36 on: March 26, 2007, 11:38:26 pm »

How many aggies does it take to turn around the Arkansas basketball program?










One. Billy G.
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oldbooniehog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #37 on: March 26, 2007, 11:38:53 pm »

But then again, telling Aggie jokes is a lot like getting your jollies by kicking walkers away from arthritic old ladies, or stealing pennies from the jar for orphan burn victims set up at the cash register at the convenience store.

It's like, well, laughing at any poor unfortunate souls whom nature has singled out with severe deformity or handicap.

Only, it's a hell of a lot more fun!

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IronHog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #38 on: March 26, 2007, 11:40:20 pm »

A boyscout, an aggie, and Jessie Jackson are on this plane...........














Better not.









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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #39 on: March 26, 2007, 11:40:27 pm »

Winning an argument with an aggie is like winning the special olympics.....you're still retarded.
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jamie72921

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #40 on: March 26, 2007, 11:41:24 pm »

 
Razorback fan and an Aggie are at the beach. After watching Razorback fan pull chicks like it was nothing, Aggie fan asks him what is his secret.

Razorback fan says the secret is to take a sock, roll it up, and put it in your swimsuit.

Aggie fan is so excited he can barely sleep that night. Finally the next day comes and its time to get back to the beach.

Aggie fan, feeling extremely confident with his sock rolled up and in place, runs up to a group of hot babes in bikinis. Much to his horror, they all scream and run away.

He tries a different group of girls, but with the same results.

He sees Razorback fan and runs up to him find out what's happening. Aggie fan says, " I put the sock in my pants like you told me to, but the girls only scream and run away!"

Razorback fan cooly replies, "The sock goes in the FRONT of your pants!"
 
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walls4

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #41 on: March 26, 2007, 11:59:13 pm »

How do Aggies practice safe sex?
They get rid of all the animals that kick.

How do you know when you are near College Station?
When you honk your horn, all the sheep back up to the fence.

What do you call a female Aggie who takes birth control pills?
A humanitarian.

Why are rectal thermometers banned in College Station?
They cause too much brain damage.






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hogheat1

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #42 on: March 26, 2007, 11:59:14 pm »

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #43 on: March 27, 2007, 12:04:06 am »

I'll start:

A Razorback fan, a Longhorn fan, and an Aggie were walking down a farm road together.  They look over to see a sheep entangled in barbed wire, and obviously struggling to run from them.  The Razorback pauses and looks at the other two and says "Man, I wish that was Cindy Crawford."  The Longhorn then looks at the other two and says "Man I wish that was Faith Hill."

After a few moments of thought, the Aggie turns to his companions and says "Man I wish it was dark."

Bacon out...

That's ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d!

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FriscoPig

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #44 on: March 27, 2007, 12:24:23 am »

Did you hear that the aggies got a big time QB recruit - this guy was going to save aggie land.  Only thing - he just kept flunking all his classes.  No matter how many tutors, or hours he spend - he never got any answers right.

Finally as a last gasp to help the their fine aggie QB pass and finally graduate - the aggies of aggieland held a big rally for him - only thing he had to do is answer one question.  He stay up all night studying - than finally - with the student body watching - they announced the question.

What is 2 plus 3.  The QB scratched his head, pounded on his calculator, wrote some stuff down on paper - and when his hour was up he gave his answer............

5 he said - and all the aggies said.......







OH NO - GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!!!!!!



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whatsshakinbacon

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #45 on: March 27, 2007, 08:28:57 am »



That's just wicked good!

Bacon out...
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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #46 on: March 27, 2007, 08:36:54 am »

  How do you find College Station from Fayetteville?


  Go west 'till ya smell sh*t,

  Then go south 'till ya step in it...
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brownhog

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #47 on: March 27, 2007, 08:37:10 am »

What does an A&M graduate, and a tornado have in common?

They both end up in trailer parks.
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hogheat1

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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #48 on: March 27, 2007, 08:44:13 am »

why dont birds fly over college station?

because there is nothing worth crapping on
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Re: Great Aggie Jokes thread
« Reply #49 on: March 27, 2007, 08:46:15 am »

A graduate of the A&M Engineering program arrived on an oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico for his first shift on the job. Being the new guy, he got the night shift. The chief engineer arrived and explained his expectations and said "before we can let you start we have a test that you have to pass. We are going to turn on this high-powered searchlight and you have to walk 100 yards out over the gulf on the beam of light, turn around and walk back to the platform."

After several moments of stunned silence, the Aggie declined and turned to walk out of the engineering office. The chief engineer asked him why he wouldn't go through with the test and the Aggie replied "As soon as I get halfway out there, you'll turn the light off."
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