Crazy people you've met in the gym...

[DeltaBoy]

The Load she is 5.2 and a full 3 bills and she wears spandex when she walking in our neighborhood.

[spe450]

The Load she is 5.2 and a full 3 bills and she wears spandex when she walking in our neighborhood.

At least she is exercising.  That's what matters.

[DeltaBoy]

At least she is exercising.  That's what matters.

Yea but I left out she has a 20oz Dr Pepper and a sack of chips with her!

[kibster]

Guy in the gym this morning just pissed me off. No name assigned yet.

He has his crap left all over the gym. He is monopolizing the lat pull down machine because he is doing ab exercises on it. Not by pulling the bar down, but just using the restraints to lock his legs for sit ups.

Worst part is that he is listening to music on his iPhone. And not with headphones. He has it turned. All the way up-so loud it is more distortion than song.  The song: Adelle -Someone like you. Just that song. Over and over.

[DeltaBoy]

Guy in the gym this morning just pissed me off. No name assigned yet.

He has his crap left all over the gym. He is monopolizing the lat pull down machine because he is doing ab exercises on it. Not by pulling the bar down, but just using the restraints to lock his legs for sit ups.

Worst part is that he is listening to music on his iPhone. And not with headphones. He has it turned. All the way up-so loud it is more distortion than song.  The song: Adelle -Someone like you. Just that song. Over and over.

You should have walked by tripped and dropped a 50 pound dumbell in his gut.

[Nuclear Hog]

Flip Flops- This guy would come to the gym everyday around the same time. He would strip down to his underwear and change right there in the middle of the gym and put flip-flops on. Put his dirty clothes in a plastic Walmart bag and throw the bag over by the bench press in the corner. He would then proceed on to carrying three different sets of dumbbells over to the same bench along with the curl bar. He would then pull a chair over and set the curl bar on it in front of the bench. Almost creating a barricade for himself. He would do his bench press then curl then do some funky thing with the dumbbells. About 10 min into it he would take his shirt off. The his would go one for almost 2 hours. I never saw the guy do one set of anything that consisted of legs. The whole time he is working out wearing flip flops.

[hilljack]

The Princesses -- While deployed to Al Udeid a few years ago, I was finishing up my work out with a "25 Mile" spin on the stationary bike. Its hot and humid at the Deid and I was trying to hit 25 miles in less than an hour.  Needless to say I was sweating like a WHOORE in Church.  These two young-ish females climb onto the bikes next to mine and start off on a leisurely pedal.  As they get started, they look at me in disgust and say... "I don't understand why people come to the gym and get all sweaty."  Ummm, isn't that what you're supposed to do in a gym?

[OldCoot]

You should have walked by tripped and dropped a 50 pound dumbell in his gut.

Or on foot.

[H&D]

The Princesses -- While deployed to Al Udeid a few years ago, I was finishing up my work out with a "25 Mile" spin on the stationary bike. Its hot and humid at the Deid and I was trying to hit 25 miles in less than an hour.  Needless to say I was sweating like a WHOORE in Church.  These two young-ish females climb onto the bikes next to mine and start off on a leisurely pedal.  As they get started, they look at me in disgust and say... "I don't understand why people come to the gym and get all sweaty."  Ummm, isn't that what you're supposed to do in a gym?

Talk about understatement of the year.  We came to "The Deid" when leaving Iraq, after the second day, I wanted to go back to Baghdad just to cool off.

[DeltaBoy]

Good ones guys!

[DeltaBoy]

This morning there was a guy who laid down on a bench at the Smith machine. I'm thinking he's going to do some bench presses, instead he put the bar about arm's length over the bench then swung his legs up. He put his feet on the bar and started doing inverted leg presses on it.

This while all the leg-specific machines were sitting empty.

What a MORON!

[spe450]

This morning there was a guy who laid down on a bench at the Smith machine. I'm thinking he's going to do some bench presses, instead he put the bar about arm's length over the bench then swung his legs up. He put his feet on the bar and started doing inverted leg presses on it.

This while all the leg-specific machines were sitting empty.

You would be surprised at how many body builder type people (men and women) do this. They go from either the floor or a bench. I've seen it a lot, and these people are definitely not novices.  Seems like a very unsafe way to use the equipment.

[urkillnmesmalls]

This guy is not a bodybuilder. Spends most of his time chatting. He'll do a set of curls, then chat up whoever is nearest for five minutes. Do another set, five more minutes of talking. I've seen him in a boot camp class stop and chat with somebody not in the class when he was supposed to be running a lap.

That said, he's in good shape for his age. And, honestly, a really nice guy. Except when he's asking me about Saturday's game while I'm doing squats.

Charlie Chatterbox?   

[urkillnmesmalls]

He is also dude who sweats gallons and doesn't carry a towel to wipe down the equipment.

That won't fly.  I cannot stand that, and I will physically take a towel up to those people and politely ask that they wipe down after they finish a set.

You prepared to be sick at your stomach?  Years and years ago I worked at fitness center.  I was a salesperson, but we all shared in the dirty jobs.  The ones I hated were cleaning the tanning beds, and the hot tub.  To this day, you will NOT get me in a public hot tub...won't happen. 

I digress.  One day I was standing with the cleaning spray and a towel ready to clean the tanning bed, and there was a pool of perspiration collected on it.  The bed was still on, and I noticed that it looked like there were little shiny things in the sweat...not like glitter, but different looking than just water.  Then I looked closer, and they were MOVING.  This guy had gotten in there, sweat out what looked like about 10 ounces of water, and there were CRABS swimming around in the sweat.  It was all I could do not to puke.  I still get squeamish thinking about it.

I don't have a name for that.      

[clutch]

This morning there was a guy who laid down on a bench at the Smith machine. I'm thinking he's going to do some bench presses, instead he put the bar about arm's length over the bench then swung his legs up. He put his feet on the bar and started doing inverted leg presses on it.

This while all the leg-specific machines were sitting empty.

Ehhh, it's the smith machine. Nobody uses it anyways lol.

[OldCoot]

That won't fly.  I cannot stand that, and I will physically take a towel up to those people and politely ask that they wipe down after they finish a set.

You prepared to be sick at your stomach?  Years and years ago I worked at fitness center.  I was a salesperson, but we all shared in the dirty jobs.  The ones I hated were cleaning the tanning beds, and the hot tub.  To this day, you will NOT get me in a public hot tub...won't happen. 

I digress.  One day I was standing with the cleaning spray and a towel ready to clean the tanning bed, and there was a pool of perspiration collected on it.  The bed was still on, and I noticed that it looked like there were little shiny things in the sweat...not like glitter, but different looking than just water.  Then I looked closer, and they were MOVING.  This guy had gotten in there, sweat out what looked like about 10 ounces of water, and there were CRABS swimming around in the sweat.  It was all I could do not to puke.  I still get squeamish thinking about it.

I don't have a name for that.      

Sweet Mary, mother of God, and all things holy.

[Grag T]

That won't fly.  I cannot stand that, and I will physically take a towel up to those people and politely ask that they wipe down after they finish a set.

You prepared to be sick at your stomach?  Years and years ago I worked at fitness center.  I was a salesperson, but we all shared in the dirty jobs.  The ones I hated were cleaning the tanning beds, and the hot tub.  To this day, you will NOT get me in a public hot tub...won't happen. 

I digress.  One day I was standing with the cleaning spray and a towel ready to clean the tanning bed, and there was a pool of perspiration collected on it.  The bed was still on, and I noticed that it looked like there were little shiny things in the sweat...not like glitter, but different looking than just water.  Then I looked closer, and they were MOVING.  This guy had gotten in there, sweat out what looked like about 10 ounces of water, and there were CRABS swimming around in the sweat.  It was all I could do not to puke.  I still get squeamish thinking about it.

I don't have a name for that.      

Geez that makes me sick to even READ it... Pretty sure I would've quit that job just to get out of that hideous nightmare, lol

[Silver Hog]

This morning there was a guy who laid down on a bench at the Smith machine. I'm thinking he's going to do some bench presses, instead he put the bar about arm's length over the bench then swung his legs up. He put his feet on the bar and started doing inverted leg presses on it.

This while all the leg-specific machines were sitting empty.

could have been worse!

[clutch]

could have been worse!

That dudes a bada**. That would be hard.

[DeltaBoy]

That won't fly.  I cannot stand that, and I will physically take a towel up to those people and politely ask that they wipe down after they finish a set.

You prepared to be sick at your stomach?  Years and years ago I worked at fitness center.  I was a salesperson, but we all shared in the dirty jobs.  The ones I hated were cleaning the tanning beds, and the hot tub.  To this day, you will NOT get me in a public hot tub...won't happen. 

I digress.  One day I was standing with the cleaning spray and a towel ready to clean the tanning bed, and there was a pool of perspiration collected on it.  The bed was still on, and I noticed that it looked like there were little shiny things in the sweat...not like glitter, but different looking than just water.  Then I looked closer, and they were MOVING.  This guy had gotten in there, sweat out what looked like about 10 ounces of water, and there were CRABS swimming around in the sweat.  It was all I could do not to puke.  I still get squeamish thinking about it.

I don't have a name for that.      

Get the Clorox!

[Murr]

Yea but I left out she has a 20oz Dr Pepper and a sack of chips with her!

lol

I knew a girl who wanted to lose some weight.  She went a long 5 mile walk, had a small glass of water and began eating mayo from the jar with a spoon.

[spe450]

lol

I knew a girl who wanted to lose some weight.  She went a long 5 mile walk, had a small glass of water and began eating mayo from the jar with a spoon.

I believe it.  There are plenty of people on certain diets that will pile on the mayo because of its low carb/high fat content.

[kingofdequeen]

There are TV's in our locker room, along with a couple leather chairs.  Not a week goes by that I walk by and some old dude is sitting in one watching the tube, buck naked, no towel, just chilling.   i mean, i realize folks walk around naked in there, but to hang out like that?  a touch creepy. 

what about personal craziness?  i'm a steam room talker.  apparently there aren't many of my species. 

[spe450]

There are TV's in our locker room, along with a couple leather chairs.  Not a week goes by that I walk by and some old dude is sitting in one watching the tube, buck naked, no towel, just chilling.   i mean, i realize folks walk around naked in there, but to hang out like that?  a touch creepy. 

what about personal craziness?  i'm a steam room talker.  apparently there aren't many of my species. 

Someone pissed on the rocks in the sauna in my gym several months ago.  Seriously, who would think that is a good idea??

Of course, the genious workers thought a few sprays of OdoBan would actually work to get rid of the smell.

[kibster]

There are TV's in our locker room, along with a couple leather chairs.  Not a week goes by that I walk by and some old dude is sitting in one watching the tube, buck naked, no towel, just chilling.   i mean, i realize folks walk around naked in there, but to hang out like that?  a touch creepy. 

Little rock athletic club?

[kingofdequeen]

Little rock athletic club?

yup. 

[Hogsmo Kramer]

Someone pissed on the rocks in the sauna in my gym several months ago.  Seriously, who would think that is a good idea??

Of course, the genious workers thought a few sprays of OdoBan would actually work to get rid of the smell.

Bwahahahaha that's funny as crap!

Not funny if you were so unlucky as to go in there but from the comfort of my recliner that's funny as hell.

[Hogsmo Kramer]

There are TV's in our locker room, along with a couple leather chairs.  Not a week goes by that I walk by and some old dude is sitting in one watching the tube, buck naked, no towel, just chilling.   i mean, i realize folks walk around naked in there, but to hang out like that?  a touch creepy. 

what about personal craziness?  i'm a steam room talker.  apparently there aren't many of my species.

You got a towel on in there or in the buff?

[spe450]

Bwahahahaha that's funny as crap!

Not funny if you were so unlucky as to go in there but from the comfort of my recliner that's funny as hell.

It was pretty much getting a urea punch to the nose.

[kingofdequeen]

You got a towel on in there or in the buff?

i towel up.  never seen anyone under 55 not do the same.

[Hogsmo Kramer]

i towel up.  never seen anyone under 55 not do the same.

That's no big deal I'd converse with ya.

Now if you're flaunting the dong, naw we're not making eye contact.

[Hogsmo Kramer]

It was pretty much getting a urea punch to the nose.

That's the worst kind of punch.

[kingofdequeen]

That's no big deal I'd converse with ya.

Now if you're flaunting the dong, naw we're not making eye contact.

i understand.  eyes are often drawn to my dong.  it's okay.  you learn to live with it.

[Hogsmo Kramer]

i understand.  eyes are often drawn to my dong.  it's okay.  you learn to live with it.

Lol!

Touché my friend touché.

[razorbackfanatic]

Not really a gym guy, but there is a guy in my neighborhood who jogs frequently in the late evening.  As he starts up the hill just past my driveway, he starts some sort of bizarre deal where he points his toes down on his leg that is going up.  It is ridiculous looking.  My wife and I have no idea who he is, and we don't think he lives in our neighborhood.  She coined him....

Prancer. 

It's a perfect description. 

Lmao!

[razorbackfanatic]

That won't fly.  I cannot stand that, and I will physically take a towel up to those people and politely ask that they wipe down after they finish a set.

You prepared to be sick at your stomach?  Years and years ago I worked at fitness center.  I was a salesperson, but we all shared in the dirty jobs.  The ones I hated were cleaning the tanning beds, and the hot tub.  To this day, you will NOT get me in a public hot tub...won't happen. 

I digress.  One day I was standing with the cleaning spray and a towel ready to clean the tanning bed, and there was a pool of perspiration collected on it.  The bed was still on, and I noticed that it looked like there were little shiny things in the sweat...not like glitter, but different looking than just water.  Then I looked closer, and they were MOVING.  This guy had gotten in there, sweat out what looked like about 10 ounces of water, and there were CRABS swimming around in the sweat.  It was all I could do not to puke.  I still get squeamish thinking about it.

I don't have a name for that.      

That's disgusting! This reminds me of when my wife worked at a local tanning salon for some extra income. They closed at 9pm and every night at 8:55 this local women who's an elementary school teacher comes in to tan for 20 minutes! Gotta love that. But the worst part is that my wife and all her co workers said the whole tanning bed area stunk so bad of some kind of radical b.o. funk after she left. They gagged while cleaning it! This lady is a big women but no reason to stink that bad. My wife said it smelled like a combo of burnt burritos and b.o.!

[razorbackfanatic]

Lol speaking of dongs, have u ever spotted for someone benching a lot like 500+ and them just go limp?? Yeah I had my nuts on a guys forehead for about a full second! Oh maybe a second and a half lol! Now that's bonding at the gym!!

[clutch]

Lol speaking of dongs, have u ever spotted for someone benching a lot like 500+ and them just go limp?? Yeah I had my nuts on a guys forehead for about a full second! Oh maybe a second and a half lol! Now that's bonding at the gym!!

I've never even seen someone bench 500+, much less spotted for them, but have definitely seen the spotter teebag happen.

[clutch]

Jan. 1st now so we should have a couple weeks of crazy gym people stories coming up shortly. All the crazies come out during the resolutioners period.

[razorbackfanatic]

Lol my gym which I'm not been going to regularly is owned by a serious power lifter. He holds multiple world records in his weight class and federation. It's The Proving Ground in Russellville. I've seen 2 diff people bench 500 raw and 600+ in a 2-ply bench press suit. We call them the freaks!! One of my good friends also has some records. He's about 6'0" 275 and benches around 650, squats around 700 and dead lifts around 650. The owner David Shirley graduated high school with my older brother. He was about 5'7" 160 in high school. He's 44 now and is around 5'7" 215. He's been up to 230 but he's gone done and competed at a lower class some last year. I've seen him squat 775. He's maybe done. 800 now I'm not sure. That's why he's a record holder because of his weight class and age. He benches around 600 in a suit and dead lifts around 550 or 600. I now he's had a meet when his total for the three lifts was 1700+ I think 1800+ once. Hard core gym. But it's an awesome atmosphere. Lots of people there who love to help other lifters.

[GS99]

THE NAKED HIPPIE

This dude can always be found in the men's locker room, naked. I don't know if he actually works out. He just patiently waits there for some unsuspecting person to come in earshot of him so that he can strike up a conversation. His car has a bumper stick that reads, "Jesus smoked marijuana. Ask me how I know."

Ya, I've always called him "the naked marijuana guy" and anyone who has been there knows who I'm talking about.  His car has 9/11 truther stickers all over it as well as the Jesus one.  He had a guy cornered last year and was explaining that Mitt Romney was in on 9/11 too.  I feel bad when he has some polite international student cornered and is preaching at him.  Not bad enough to intervene and rescue the student however.

[GS99]

Be careful unless that's what you want.  There is apparently a huge gay population who peruse the LRAC's locker room for agendas other than fitness.  I never would have imagined, I wonder how much of that goes on.  I won't let my son go in the locker room by himself.

There was an old guy named Jimmy who used to hang out in the HPER locker room and watch guys shower.  He was a staff guy at UA, the manager of something.  He retired maybe 10 years ago and was around a lot less after that but will still show up occasionally.  In ~'99 I used to give an international grad student a ride to the HPER 3 times a week, but then Jimmy touched him and propositioned him in the locker room.  It freaked the student out, he never returned to the HPER, and left UA shortly after. 

The student had been a policeman in Bangkok and had see more stuff than you and I have, but he was just so embarrassed that he didn't see it coming and didn't defend himself.  I offered to go to the police with him and told him he could beat Jimmy up if he wanted, but he was too embarrassed and just wanted to get away.

[DeltaBoy]

We have some gays at our gym but they are very cool and quiet about it except for that holding hands stuff.  Thank goodness they are girls.