Crazy people you've met in the gym...

[Tai_Mai_Shu]

I work out with a guy who puts on a ton of weights but move it two inches.

[DeltaBoy]

I work out with a guy who puts on a ton of weights but move it two inches.

Ah a Micro Lifter.

[urkillnmesmalls]

Ah a Micro Lifter.

Nice.  +1

It never ceases to amaze me when guys will have a poor shmuck there spotting them on bench press, and think they are going to do three forced reps after failure.  After number two, the spotter gets that look of nervousness like, "OH NO, you're going to do ANOTHER rep?" 

His nickname should be "Face Saver." 

[Ragnar Hogbrok]

Last night at the gym in Kandahar, I noticed this guy would do the exercises I was doing about two iterations after I was done.

Apparently, he liked the way I looked, so I guess he thought he'd copy my workout.

I dubbed him, "Carbon Copy."

[DeltaBoy]

Last night at the gym in Kandahar, I noticed this guy would do the exercises I was doing about two iterations after I was done.

Apparently, he liked the way I looked, so I guess he thought he'd copy my workout.
N
I dubbed him, "Carbon Copy."

LOL+1 stay safe over there and slap butts when ever you can.

[urkillnmesmalls]

Last night at the gym in Kandahar, I noticed this guy would do the exercises I was doing about two iterations after I was done.

Apparently, he liked the way I looked, so I guess he thought he'd copy my workout.

I dubbed him, "Carbon Copy."

Memorex Man? 

[DeltaBoy]

Saw the Painted man yesterday in my new Gym.  He was as inked as anybody else I have seen.

[peevedpaul]

Jacki Chan

I guess I had the same workout schedule as Jacki Chan, who knew? Every day, this skawny asian would come in, patiently wait his turn on the pull up bar, and then start swinging. Once he got enoug momentum, he woul start doing crouching tiger hidden dragon moves all while yelling "hiyahhh" and "oiiiii" and "chakahhh" after every move. Im sure it was a great workout for core and arms, but very unorthadox and strange. Its like he was trying to drop kick/scissor kick/ninja kick the mirrored wall that was directly in front of him.

I know this guy and saw this routine first hand at the HPER...hilarious! His last name is Lee. Maybe, Bruce Lee would be a better fit.

I've got a couple:

GLEE CLUB

He's a young guy that seems to have a little sugar in his tank. The other day my buddy and I were working out and we noticed this guy dancing in the mirror between sets while signing the songs playing in his earbuds. My buddy says, "I didn't know that you had to workout for glee club." Thus, the name stuck. When I see him now, I envision him staring in the mirror pumping himself up for his workout by saying, "We've got to win Regionals!"

OLD BABY

He's an older gentleman that works out mainly on the machines. The thing about him is that he tucks his small gym towel into the neck of his shirt like a bib. Thus, he's the "old baby."

COLONEL REB

This one's obvious. The guy is the spitting image of a real life colonel reb.

THE WALKING ALMOST DEAD

These are the old people that take up every treadmill in the morning to walk when there's a perfectly good track upstairs. Plus, doesn't the mall open early for these people?

THE NAKED HIPPIE

This dude can always be found in the men's locker room, naked. I don't know if he actually works out. He just patiently waits there for some unsuspecting person to come in earshot of him so that he can strike up a conversation. His car has a bumper stick that reads, "Jesus smoked marijuana. Ask me how I know."

I'll post more later.

[Buff]

There were a ton of naked hippies when I worked out at the Little Rock Athletic Club.  Never saw them up in the gym areas but every time I walked into the locker room there were about 20 of them sitting around on the benches naked as jaybirds.  I always just assumed they were Longhorn fans.

[kibster]

There were a ton of naked hippies when I worked out at the Little Rock Athletic Club.  Never saw them up in the gym areas but every time I walked into the locker room there were about 20 of them sitting around on the benches naked as jaybirds.  I always just assumed they were Longhorn fans.

This is the truth.   I am not a member there, but I have played racquetball with a friend there a couple of times.  First time I was there, mid-afternoon.  We are one of the few people there, but we walk in to the locker room and there were around 20 naked men just hanging out (literally) talking.

[Iamphatman]

THE GOAT--

There was a woman at the gym I used to go to that had an issue with always chewing on random things.  The main thing was her shirt.  She would get on the stair climber and pull the collar of her shirt up and chew through her whole workout.  So bad that her shirt would be soaked, not with sweat, but with saliva from her chewing her shirt so much.  One day she had on only a sports bra, so I was wondering what she was going to chew on.  Sure enough, she went back to her bag, got a shirt, and started chewing on a shirt while not wearing it! Another time I saw her with a water bottle that was warped at the top from her chewing on it so much.  it was leaking water all over the floor from all the bite marks on it... 

[Iamphatman]

Marvin Altman Fitness?

Yes sir!  You've experienced the goat!!!

[spe450]

Ric Flair

He's a younger guy that primarily works his lats.  Has skinny legs but a well defined upper body.  In between sets, he struts around the entire gym, making sure to flair his lats wherever he sees his reflection.  He spends more time flexing than actually working out, and therefore takes an unreasonable amount of time on whichever piece of back equipment he is using that day.

[kingofdequeen]

I actually know her through her boyfriend. She's nice, but I noticed that chewing thing one day too. Tough to miss when she's up on that stair climber.

Now I'm scared you'll mention me in this thread.

weird sensory issue.  i bet she can't stop if she tried.

[Iamphatman]

I actually know her through her boyfriend. She's nice, but I noticed that chewing thing one day too. Tough to miss when she's up on that stair climber.

Now I'm scared you'll mention me in this thread.

Nah, your secret is safe with me!!!

[DeltaBoy]

Keep them coming.

[Iamphatman]

Iamphatman, have you seen the Shake Weight Guy?

He's sort of a Micro-Lifter, I guess. He hoists up some dumbbells over his head, then jiggles them like a Shake Weight.

I haven't been to MAFC in a couple months cause I started Crossfit.  Havn't seen the shake weight guy when I was there though.  My favorite though, was a woman that would sit on the stationary bike while reading a book.  She may, and I mean may, spin the pedals once a minute.  She sits there for almost an hour reading, towling off her brow, and maybe pedals a fourth of a mile.  It's hilarious! My wife and I dubbed her "the book worm".

[Iamphatman]

There was also a girl we dubbed "the drama mamma" that looked borderline anorexic.  She goes on an eliptical machine and talks on the phone the whole time.  At least half the time she's fighting with her boyfriend about not spending enough time with her.  At least a few times she's been in full on yelling/uncontrollably crying mode, talking on the phone, and never missing a beat on the eliptical machine! "You don't even love me, and I do so much for you!!!"  "Why you treat me this way i will never understand!" "I know you're screwing her, and she's my sister!!!".  I used to cringe when I walked in and saw her there. 

[Wahls]

I work out at an MMA gym here in Arkadelphia, and there's a guy that's about 5'3" 110 that gets the 2 pound girly weights and like rotates his wrists around for like 15 minutes.

Then he gallops from one end of the mat to the other 10-15 times like some sort of dancer and begins to throw punches in super slow slow motion at the heavy bags with his cute pink weights in his hands. Then when he gets tired of that, he starts very slowly swinging them. He like twirls them into his fingers and when he gets through all of them, he finishes into the side of heavy bag. It's hard to explain, mostly because it makes no sense. I have no idea how it could possibly be useful for anything. After that he puts them down and begins twirling fake swords like some sort of samurai, almost always hitting himself every 20 to 30 seconds.

Then I watch him and his buddy (about the same size) spar and you haven't seen comedy like this. They try to do the pika-boo thing like Mike Tyson except they have the punch accuracy of Gary Busey after a hit. Then after their exhausting workout, they sit around talk about fighting and stuff. I feel like I'm watching the two stooges.

[urkillnmesmalls]

Years ago we had a guy that used to come in the gym and get on the Nautilus calf raise machine.  It's one thing if he did correct raises and went all the way down, and all the way up...but no...he did micro-raises.  But...naturally, there wasn't enough weight on the stack for him.  So he would carry two 80 lb dumbells over there from the free weight room and put them on each side of the stack.  We warned him about doing that, and would stop him every time we saw him, because the cables, cable connectors, and pulleys were not designed to take that much weight. 

Sure enough...one day when no one was looking he loaded it up, and the cable eyelet clamp failed.  There was a loud crash, that would have been much louder if he was actually raising more than an inch or two, and there he stood...looking like an idiot with the cable hanging limp.

I'm not sure of a good term for him other than idiot.      

[Iamphatman]

With Lunney off Zero?

Yep.  It's an amazing program.  I've dropped a ton of weight and gained some serious strength in the short time I've been there.  I could just never push myself as hard as they do and need the accountability, support structure of other people doing it with me, and the coaches.  It's tough, but like I said, I wouldnt ever push myself as hard as they do.  Have you looked into it at all?  It's a great program for me.     

[Iamphatman]

Yeah, I look at it once a week.

My problem is the schedule. Between work and parenting, I have to juggle my workouts. I might go at 9 am one morning and 9 pm the next day and noon the next. I think Crossfit needs a more regular schedule, yes?

Somewhat.  There are classes at 5:30am, 6:30, 8:30, 11, 12:30pm, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, and 6:30.  Plus two team workouts on saturdays at 9:30 and 10:30.  So there are classes that fit most schedules, but if you don't make one of those times you can't really go anytime you feel froggy, like you can at the gym.  You have to make it in time for one of the classes, so you'd have to go at a specific time, but not the same time every day if that makes sense.   

[Wahls]

Years ago we had a guy that used to come in the gym and get on the Nautilus calf raise machine.  It's one thing if he did correct raises and went all the way down, and all the way up...but no...he did micro-raises.  But...naturally, there wasn't enough weight on the stack for him.  So he would carry two 80 lb dumbells over there from the free weight room and put them on each side of the stack.  We warned him about doing that, and would stop him every time we saw him, because the cables, cable connectors, and pulleys were not designed to take that much weight. 

Sure enough...one day when no one was looking he loaded it up, and the cable eyelet clamp failed.  There was a loud crash, that would have been much louder if he was actually raising more than an inch or two, and there he stood...looking like an idiot with the cable hanging limp.

I'm not sure of a good term for him other than idiot.      

Idiot.

[OldCoot]

There were a ton of naked hippies when I worked out at the Little Rock Athletic Club.  Never saw them up in the gym areas but every time I walked into the locker room there were about 20 of them sitting around on the benches naked as jaybirds.  I always just assumed they were Longhorn fans.

Be careful unless that's what you want.  There is apparently a huge gay population who peruse the LRAC's locker room for agendas other than fitness.  I never would have imagined, I wonder how much of that goes on.  I won't let my son go in the locker room by himself.

[Buff]

They need to find another meeting place, that gym is too expensive for that s***.  Sounds like the men's locker room needs a "singles" and "couples" separate sauna.

[DeltaBoy]

My new low cost gym full of Painted up guys what are mostly Posers and Micro Lifters.

[Buff]

My new low cost gym full of Painted up guys what are mostly Posers and Micro Lifters.

Sometimes I feel like Macho Man bench pressing 215

[kingofdequeen]

Be careful unless that's what you want.  There is apparently a huge gay population who peruse the LRAC's locker room for agendas other than fitness.  I never would have imagined, I wonder how much of that goes on.  I won't let my son go in the locker room by himself.

your retarded, my retarded, everyones retarded all rolled up into a ball and shat right here for the world to see.

[LL COOL HOG]

I split my shorts doing squats and kept working out. Am I the crazy person now?

[OldCoot]

I split my shorts doing squats and kept working out. Am I the crazy person now?

Speaking of, do you think that picture on the internet is real?  Can you actually make your butt prolapse by squatting too much weight?

[spe450]

Speaking of, do you think that picture on the internet is real?  Can you actually make your butt prolapse by squatting too much weight?

yes

[LL COOL HOG]

Speaking of, do you think that picture on the internet is real?  Can you actually make your butt prolapse by squatting too much weight?

I don't want to find out! I'd take split shorts any day over that.

[H&D]

My new low cost gym full of Painted up guys what are mostly Posers and Micro Lifters.

You started going to Planet Fitness?  If so, you need to mail in your man card, they don't allow dead lift for crying out loud.

[H&D]

Why don't they allow dead lifts?

IDK, they just don't.  They will sound the "lunk" alarm.

[DeltaBoy]

You started going to Planet Fitness?  If so, you need to mail in your man card, they don't allow dead lift for crying out loud.

Nope it is no Planet Fitness with in an hour of my hous I go to our City build new Rec center in Town and they charge 10 bucks a year to use the 350 Sq foot Gym.  We have 3 treadmills, 2 bikes and 2 Elcips plus 4 machines and dumbells from 5 - 75 pounds.

[/sarcasm on]

There used to be a guy who would come into the Trim Gym in Jonesboro a few years ago and do nothing but work on his dance moves in front of the mirrors. He'd work on them all week long and Thursday nights he would be at the Electric Cowboy dancing his heart out. He would never leave the dance floor, even when songs came on that nobody wanted to dance to. He just kept on dancing by himself. I never could figure out why he didn't just buy a mirror and practice dancing at home. Gym memberships are too expensive for that. Not to mention it always bugged me because I couldn't help buy laugh at him while I was trying to stay focused on my workout.

^^^Napoleon Dynomite

What about Jack Mehoff?

He's the guy that is constantly working out ONLY his forearms... I can think of only one reason to have such massively developed forearms...

[Grag T]

Nope it is no Planet Fitness with in an hour of my hous I go to our City build new Rec center in Town and they charge 10 bucks a year to use the 350 Sq foot Gym.  We have 3 treadmills, 2 bikes and 2 Elcips plus 4 machines and dumbells from 5 - 75 pounds.

Be sure to use proper gym etiquette and share the dumbells when Richard Simmons wants to work in with you.



My latest character:

THE GARDEN GNOME

Dude looks exactly like the little garden gnome statues, I really need to buy him a pointy red hat.

[OldCoot]

We have some really good machines that I like to use in between the treadmill.  We will get on do 2 quick sets and move to the next.  There are others that "camp" on the machine, usually an older heavy lady who just camps and rests and drinks her water on the machine instead of moving on. 

Then we have the cell phone talker, an african american lady who thinks everyone wants to hear her talking.  That pisses me off.

Then we have this african american dude who is a body builder, He is very, very, big but he is also short with dreadlocks..  He's pretty cool.  He's that dude who you know there is no way you could ever look like him because you don't 5 years to devote to lifting.  I think he has a membership at every gym in Saline County.  He says everything he does is all natural and I want to believe him, but man he has to spend hours every day lifting.

[Buff]

I think I've seen that guy.  It amazed me when I worked nights how many dudes like him I would run into in the middle of the day at the gym.  Do these people have jobs, or is there some Obama-paid bodybuilding money that I need to apply for?

[Silver Hog]

Sunday Morning Dancing Man - this guy came in and if we didn't have keys to get in the door I would have assumed he was in the wrong place.  Cuban hat, dress shoes, shorts, huge belt buckle and doing everything  wrong he could get his hands on.  In between exercises he was doing some dance moves and basically lost in his own world.

I have a photo, will try to get it uploaded.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[twistitup]

^^^Napoleon Dynomite

What about Jack Mehoff?

He's the guy that is constantly working out ONLY his forearms... I can think of only one reason to have such massively developed forearms...

Competitive arm wrestlers focus on forearms.

http://www.eiyc.com/wrist.htm

[Silver Hog]

Memorex Man? 

Captain Xerox?

[Silver Hog]

weird sensory issue.  i bet she can't stop if she tried.

Maybe she is related to this guy

[DeltaBoy]

Sometimes I feel like Macho Man bench pressing 215

Shoot I got several good comment for doing Dumb bells presss and lats with a pair of 40 lb dumbells.

[Buck Ocean]

Sunday Morning Dancing Man - this guy came in and if we didn't have keys to get in the door I would have assumed he was in the wrong place.  Cuban hat, dress shoes, shorts, huge belt buckle and doing everything  wrong he could get his hands on.  In between exercises he was doing some dance moves and basically lost in his own world.

I have a photo, will try to get it uploaded.

totally awesome complete with photo

[Buck Ocean]

BLACK STALLION - Black haired chick about 5'9, built with calves, tricps and ace.  She lifts weights like she's been showed the ropes by someone who knew what they were doing.  Quad and ham split definition.  Big rack.  She's got great genetics and obviously attractive.

BLACK WIDOW - Another black haired chick, this one about 5'2.  She had a softball girl, stocky build, but has went ape shine on the cardio and has a thin waist, calves and NO ace.  She will do stairmill for 30, then run actual staircase up to spinning room and back down to floor over and over.  We call her the Black Widow because she killed her husband....no, not really but it justifies the name a little.

MIDNIGHT DANCER - Back to a real tall chick, with long curly brownish hair.  She has tattoos in odd spots, like the entire right oblique, the left outer quad and various onesie-twosies.  She is young, I think.  But she has a kid (hence big rack), so not that young.  She has been making it known she's getting a job at the gym as a trainer, but she's been singing that song for nearly 5 months so not sure if thats ever gonna happen.  She has a stripper feel, so thats why we call her the Midnight Dancer.

[DeltaBoy]

We need some new freaks.

[urkillnmesmalls]

Not really a gym guy, but there is a guy in my neighborhood who jogs frequently in the late evening.  As he starts up the hill just past my driveway, he starts some sort of bizarre deal where he points his toes down on his leg that is going up.  It is ridiculous looking.  My wife and I have no idea who he is, and we don't think he lives in our neighborhood.  She coined him....

Prancer. 

It's a perfect description. 

[kibster]

Not really a gym guy, but there is a guy in my neighborhood who jogs frequently in the late evening.  As he starts up the hill just past my driveway, he starts some sort of bizarre deal where he points his toes down on his leg that is going up.  It is ridiculous looking.  My wife and I have no idea who he is, and we don't think he lives in our neighborhood.  She coined him....

Prancer. 

It's a perfect description. 

My neighbors are some weird people.  They are mid 50s, and pretty out of shape.  She does yard work in a 2 piece bikini and he does it in just a pair of spandex biking shorts that are multi-colored in 1980s colors.  The other day they decide to go walking around the neighborhood.  They at least put shirts on, they were both wearing fingerless weightlifting gloves on their stroll around the neighborhood.

[H&D]

My neighbors are some weird people.  They are mid 50s, and pretty out of shape.  She does yard work in a 2 piece bikini and he does it in just a pair of spandex biking shorts that are multi-colored in 1980s colors.  The other day they decide to go walking around the neighborhood.  They at least put shirts on, they were both wearing fingerless weightlifting gloves on their stroll around the neighborhood.

Sounds like they are sole mates.  Weird, creepy sole mates.