Seattlehog - Swimming In Despair - What I Know

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SWIMMING IN DESPAIR




"I have hope because what's the alternative to hope? Despair? If you have despair, you might as well put your head in the oven."

Studs Terkel


Forget EVERYTHING I've said before.  I was wrong.  It's time to despair, to lose our minds.  It's time to curl up in a ball on the floor mumbling "What the hell? What the hell?" over and over again until the words merge and become a single syllable that permanently occupies what is left of our confused and damaged brains.

It is safer to stay in there, wrapped tightly in despair and loss.  We can become zombie-fied versions of ourselves, an un-dead army of broken fans.

Or not.  Who knows what to do at this point?

It's easy to simply be disgusted and angry when we think the team just laid an egg like we felt they did against Toledo and Tech. (Two surprisingly decent teams.) Figuring out how to feel about the A&M game is something different entirely. (AGAIN!)

How do I react to a team that executed its game plan pretty much perfectly?  Dominate the ball.  Pass efficiently. Luck out and get a few stops.  It was all there.

At the same time it's a team that is supposed to be playing clean and efficient football right?  They are supposed to be fundamentally perfect, do all the little things well.  That's how ball control teams work.  It is asessential as solid line play and good running backs.  You simply can't have penalty after penalty.  You can't give up GIANT chunks of yardage on play after play.

The giant chunks of yardage I can sort of forgive.  A&M has some dudes that can just plain run and if you are the slower team sometimes there just isn't much to do.  (Except maybe TACKLE when you get a chance.) But false starts and holding? Again and again?

I usually want to at least find something positive.  And there are definitely positives here.  The offense played really, really well at times.  Alex Collins looks better than he ever has.  Drew Morgan and the receiving corps are doing a pretty freakin' good job.  The offensive play calling had a good rhythm and was mostly right on point.  Brandon Allen played 3.5 quarters as well as any quarterback we have ever had.  He was, dare I say it, fantastic.

But that's the thing isn't it?  There are drawbacks to every style of play.  The drawback to ours is that you have to be perfect.  One mistake puts you behind the chains and the whole scheme blows up.  3.5 quarters of spot on QB play won't do it.  You can't fumble once and then short arm a big throw.  When you play like we do there is no room for mistakes.  And this team makes an extraordinary number of mistakes.

I'm tired of thinking about it – tired of talking about it.  At some point losing 10 straight close games becomes something more than bad luck.



Oh well – lets talk about something else.

(If you sole interest in my posts is the razorbacks you might want to skip on ahead to the "What I Know" part.)

As my physical being slowly deteriorates in late middle age I have endeavored to make a lame stab at physical fitness.  That's right – I did a (very short) triathlon.

I won't bore you with too many details.  Suffice to say it turns out that "larger" men such as myself are placed in a category outside of age groups.  We are called "Clydesdales" and we huddle as a group, separate from the whippets and greyhounds on their $5K bikes and fitted wet suits.

We have tennis shoes and mountain bikes.  Our "tri-suits" look like stretched singlets on overweight wrestlers – the spandex so tight  it might snap at any moment and take out a spectator's eye.

We are a curiosity, us Clydesdales.  One 320 pounder had shaved legs but a handlebar mustache – complete with up-pointing waxed ends.  We are a strange crew.

Anyway – my lumbering triathlon isn't the story I wanted to tell.  I want to talk about the swim.

It's an open water swim, which basically means it's a terrifying melee of arms and legs and barely clothed aggressive people.  And to train for it I swam in Beaver Lake.

My folks have a place on the lake with a dock and I am a good swimmer so the training situation was basically perfect.  I would put on my embarrassing swimsuit and goggles and go down to the dock early and go out on a long swim.  I would get exhausted and turn for home - porpoising my head up every few strokes so I could sight our dock and stay on line.

The thing is, when you are tired and your goggles are foggy and you only get a quick glimpse every few seconds – all docks look pretty damn similar.

So on one occasion I did the swim equivalent of a stagger back to the dock and was surprised the ladder wasn't down so I could climb out.  I was pretty sure I had put it down but I AM an idiot and I had forgotten before.

So I hauled myself up and flopped on my belly, like Shamu begging for fish and applause at SeaWorld.  I rolled over on my back panting, eyes closed, considering a nap.

I heard a high pitched voice and pitter patter type feet and I just stayed there with my eyes closed.  Ellis likes to come down when I am done and go for a dip with me.  So I waited for her to hug me or push me or give whatever greeting she felt like giving.

But there was no hug.  I could hear the little feet slowly circling me.  I kept my eyes closed, wondering what she was up to.

Then I felt little toes gently kick me in the ribs.  I figured I was supposed to play the beached sea monster so I popped my eyes open, sat suddenly up, and grabbed her little leg.

Except it wasn't Ellis.  It was some dark haired little girl about the same age.  And she was SCREAMING.  SCREAMING.  And so was I.

We stayed like that for maybe 15 seconds.  Both screaming while I held her leg.  Finally I let go and looked around.

Nothing was familiar.  This wasn't my folk's dock.  I had ended up about 300 yards from where I was supposed to be.

The girl kept screaming and I tried to shush her but this only made it worse.  I thought I heard voices from the house up above and I pictured shotguns being loaded.

I looked the girl right in the eye – saluted – and dove back in the water, limbs flailing as I considered whether to dive deep to avoid incoming bullets.  I decided to dive deep.

Eventually I made it back to our dock.  Ellis was there waiting for me, a strange look on her face. She had been watching the whole time.

"What were you doing over there, Daddy?"

I had no answer.

I looked at the foreign dock in the distance.  About 5 people were huddled there – looking over at us.  I waved and yelled ""SORRY – WRONG DOCK – SORRY!"  They half-waved back – like you would wave to a psychotic homeless person approaching your car at a stoplight.


Alright – on to What I Know Week 4:


I know I pretty much just feel bad for Brandon Allen.  He played great for the most part. But the Hogs inability to win a game in the 4th quarter the last 2 years reflects on him.  It just does.


I know Dan Skipper gets a high degree of scrutiny from refs.

I know, or I think, that Hunter Henry was really hurt yesterday, not just dinged up.

I know Ledbetter looks like an absolute terror at times.

I know the second level of our defense looks like a gaping hole against spread teams.  Speed isn't just lacking – it's stunning in its absence.

I know our d-backs were much improved if not great.  Kyle Allen just dropped some dimes on a few of those throws.

I know Ellis started soccer again.  They have goalies this year and she got to play there some.  She may have found a home.  That position allows short bursts of action followed by lots of time to spin and dance and wave to and smile at random people as they walk by.



I know Tennessee must feel as cursed as us.

I know the Auburn offense looks like it did Gus's last year as an offensive coordinator there.  He knows he needs a running QB right? Right?

I know Texas Tech is better than I thought.  And that Kliff Kingsbury can bite me – if for no other reason than the way he spells his name.

I know Texas must feel even MORE cursed than us.  So at least we have that.

I know Kyler Murray is WAY smaller than I thought he would be.

I know I sense a bigger gap in pure talent between us and A&M than I do with any other SEC team – LSU included.

I know Ole Miss will pull a Clemson at some point this season.  I hope its against us.

I know when we were in Conway for the Triathlon we took Ellis to the Little Rock Zoo.  "Daddy I don't think that gorilla likes it here" was Ellis's takeaway from the day.

I know there will be some good stuff that happens to the Hogs this year, but that it will be a lot like last year.  We will be everybody's favorite very good bad team.

I know that sucks.

Until Next Time

Seattle

Twitter: @seattlehog
http://seattlehog.org/

[rzrbackrob]

As always, good read

Appreciate the prompt to skip non razorback parts

[panhandlepig]

  Thanks. I needed that. Laughter is always the best weapon against despair. :razorback: Go Hogs. Beat Tennessee.

[hoghearted]

wonderful post. Thanks.

[SoCal Hog]

I always enjoy reading. Thanks for posting.

[Ironhawg]

Great read. 

[ar_hog_fan]

Who the heck is Robert Shields?

[BPsTheMan]

great stuff




wherever you go, there you are

[East Clintwood]

  Thanks. I needed that. Laughter is always the best weapon against despair. :razorback: Go Hogs. Beat Tennessee.

Laughter is OK I guess, but I prefer Bourbon.

[panhandlepig]

Laughter is OK I guess, but I prefer Bourbon.

  I enjoy some whiskey now and then. This morning I had a bloody mary. Well, not first thing but shortly after 3 cups of coffee.