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Hey Aggies. Tell us more about your fake army?

Started by go hogues, September 26, 2015, 11:54:57 am

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go hogues

September 26, 2015, 11:54:57 am
Read that on here last year and have been laughing ever since. Best Aggie put down ever.  ;D

WPS!
Quote from: Leadbelly on September 24, 2019, 09:05:22 pm<br />Dude, our back has been against the wall so long, we are now on the other side of the wall!<br />

HawgLife4Eva

September 26, 2015, 11:56:00 am #1
Huh?
 

Pigliophile

September 26, 2015, 12:09:44 pm #2
Did you hear about the Texas Longhorn that transferred to A&M?
He raised the IQ of both schools!

Aggie fans hate Texas. This gives me something in common with the Aggies, which makes me hate A&M even more. 

NuttinItUp

September 26, 2015, 12:11:54 pm #3
How do you drown an Aggie?

Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

OldArmy94

September 26, 2015, 12:25:08 pm #4 Last Edit: September 26, 2015, 12:35:33 pm by OldArmy94

Did you hear about the Aggie who went to work as an inspector in an M&M factory? He lost his job because he kept tossing out all the W&W's.

OldArmy94

September 26, 2015, 12:29:27 pm #5
Why isn't 911 the emergency number in College Station?
Because Aggies can't find the eleven on the dial.

OldArmy94

September 26, 2015, 12:33:12 pm #6 Last Edit: September 26, 2015, 01:13:56 pm by OldArmy94
An Aggie businessman disappeared on his first trip out of town, but the police finally found him alive and well in his hotel room a week later. When asked why he didn't leave, the Aggie replied, "Well, there were three doors in the room--one was the bathroom, the other was to a closet and the third had a sign on it that said, 'DO NOT DISTURB'".

HawgLife4Eva

September 26, 2015, 12:39:30 pm #7
Did you hear about the Aggie who was 2 hours late to class?

The escalator was stuck....

JMartin_AF1

September 26, 2015, 02:27:06 pm #8
Why do Aggies drink their milk at the grocery store?

Because the carton says "open here"....

HogPharmer

September 26, 2015, 02:38:26 pm #9
Did you hear about the Aggie who broke his leg taking leaves?

He fell out of the tree
Quote from: WorfHog on April 05, 2019, 11:26:00 pmRemember when Auburn dog piled AND THEY LOST!
Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on June 07, 2022, 01:57:05 pmRuscin needs a big one- Michael Carter has been our best player- or second best at worst- lately.
Quote from: PorkSoda on August 21, 2019, 02:19:03 pmwe can't be terrible forever.
Quote from: The OTR on December 01, 2018, 09:43:29 amGonna start reward season with an important one.
Hogpharmer.  There will be no vote.  He rid us of hoginmemphis, otherwise known as gomerbullinmemphis, and no one else can match that accomplishment in our lifetime.

HogPharmer

September 26, 2015, 02:39:07 pm #10
BTW, +1's all around on this thread...
Quote from: WorfHog on April 05, 2019, 11:26:00 pmRemember when Auburn dog piled AND THEY LOST!
Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on June 07, 2022, 01:57:05 pmRuscin needs a big one- Michael Carter has been our best player- or second best at worst- lately.
Quote from: PorkSoda on August 21, 2019, 02:19:03 pmwe can't be terrible forever.
Quote from: The OTR on December 01, 2018, 09:43:29 amGonna start reward season with an important one.
Hogpharmer.  There will be no vote.  He rid us of hoginmemphis, otherwise known as gomerbullinmemphis, and no one else can match that accomplishment in our lifetime.

Ex-Trumpet

September 26, 2015, 02:43:46 pm #11
Quote from: HogPharmer on September 26, 2015, 02:38:26 pm
Did you hear about the Aggie who broke his leg taking leaves?

He fell out of the tree

Gotta love it when Aggies take leaves!
Do dyslexic, agnostic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog?

Ex-Trumpet

September 26, 2015, 02:45:42 pm #12
Do dyslexic, agnostic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog?
 

Razorbacks#1

September 26, 2015, 02:47:04 pm #13
You should check out the A&M thread on Texas Bevo (formerly ShaggyBevo) Brutal stuff in that 500 page thread
"You sleep safely in your beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.

THUNDER!

NuttinItUp

September 26, 2015, 02:56:41 pm #14
Quote from: Razorbacks#1 on September 26, 2015, 02:47:04 pm
You should check out the A&M thread on Texas Bevo (formerly ShaggyBevo) Brutal stuff in that 500 page thread

Texass has their own problems they need to deal with and quit obsessing over a team they don't even play any more.

Ex-Trumpet

September 26, 2015, 02:59:58 pm #15
Quote from: NuttinItUp on September 26, 2015, 02:56:41 pm
Texass has their own problems they need to deal with and quit obsessing over a team they don't even play any more.

::hornsdown::   ;)
Do dyslexic, agnostic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog?

HogPharmer

September 26, 2015, 03:14:58 pm #16
Quote from: WorfHog on April 05, 2019, 11:26:00 pmRemember when Auburn dog piled AND THEY LOST!
Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on June 07, 2022, 01:57:05 pmRuscin needs a big one- Michael Carter has been our best player- or second best at worst- lately.
Quote from: PorkSoda on August 21, 2019, 02:19:03 pmwe can't be terrible forever.
Quote from: The OTR on December 01, 2018, 09:43:29 amGonna start reward season with an important one.
Hogpharmer.  There will be no vote.  He rid us of hoginmemphis, otherwise known as gomerbullinmemphis, and no one else can match that accomplishment in our lifetime.

HogPharmer

September 26, 2015, 03:17:00 pm #17
I think these officials in the Tejas game went to TAMU
Quote from: WorfHog on April 05, 2019, 11:26:00 pmRemember when Auburn dog piled AND THEY LOST!
Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on June 07, 2022, 01:57:05 pmRuscin needs a big one- Michael Carter has been our best player- or second best at worst- lately.
Quote from: PorkSoda on August 21, 2019, 02:19:03 pmwe can't be terrible forever.
Quote from: The OTR on December 01, 2018, 09:43:29 amGonna start reward season with an important one.
Hogpharmer.  There will be no vote.  He rid us of hoginmemphis, otherwise known as gomerbullinmemphis, and no one else can match that accomplishment in our lifetime.

DeltaBoy

September 26, 2015, 05:05:27 pm #18
It takes 4 aggies to install a Light bulb 1holds the bulb and the other 3 turn the ladder.
If the South should lose, it means that the history of the heroic struggle will be written by the enemy, that our youth will be trained by Northern school teachers, will be impressed by all of the influences of history and education to regard our gallant dead as traitors and our maimed veterans as fit subjects for derision.
-- Major General Patrick Cleburne
The Confederacy had no better soldiers
than the Arkansans--fearless, brave, and oftentimes courageous beyond
prudence. Dickart History of Kershaws Brigade.

LZH

September 26, 2015, 05:28:25 pm #19
Quote from: NuttinItUp on September 26, 2015, 02:56:41 pm
Texass has their own problems they need to deal with and quit obsessing over a team they don't even play any more.

We have our own problems and need to quit taking 8th grade shots at a team that's quite likely gonna beat us by 3 TD's tonite.

HawgLife4Eva

September 26, 2015, 05:29:46 pm #20
Quote from: LZH on September 26, 2015, 05:28:25 pm
We have our own problems and need to quit taking 8th grade shots at a team that's quite likely gonna beat us by 3 TD's tonite.

We ain't playing Texas tonight, bud.

Hawgphish

September 26, 2015, 05:32:34 pm #21
Aggies found a skeleton in the basement of the campus library and named him world hide and seek champion.

secfan30

September 26, 2015, 05:33:44 pm #22
How do Aggies practice safe sex?

They get rid of all the animals that kick.

LZH

September 26, 2015, 05:36:58 pm #23
Quote from: HawgLife4Eva on September 26, 2015, 05:29:46 pm
We ain't playing Texas tonight, bud.

Isn't this thread titled "Hey Aggies....etc?"  With all the aggie jokes, I must have been confused into thinking that A&M was the target for all the lol's.

It would be different if we were 3-0, too, btw.
 

lahawg1

September 26, 2015, 05:38:53 pm #24
How do you get an Aggie to leave your house......pay him for the pizza

Inhogswetrust

September 26, 2015, 05:40:26 pm #25
Quote from: LZH on September 26, 2015, 05:28:25 pm
We have our own problems and need to quit taking 8th grade shots at a team that's quite likely gonna beat us by 3 TD's tonite.

Ummmmm..........You forget it's a tradition that all schools that play the aggies have had for perhaps 100 years.
If I'm going to cheer players and coaches in victory, I damn sure ought to be man enough to stand with them in defeat.

"Why some people are so drawn to the irrational is something that has always puzzled me" - James Randi

harley spoon

September 27, 2015, 09:52:58 am #26
Quote from: Inhogswetrust on September 26, 2015, 05:40:26 pm
Ummmmm..........You forget it's a tradition that all schools that play the aggies have had for perhaps 100 years.

Exactly.  Even us Aggieses like Aggie jokes: 

So, these two Aggies walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have noticed it.
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