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Golf joke

Started by GolfNut57, February 24, 2016, 07:04:37 pm

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GolfNut57

February 24, 2016, 07:04:37 pm
Ed and Linda met on a singles cruise; Ed fell head over heels for her.

When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Linda was indeed his soul mate and true love.

Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Linda to a fine restaurant.

While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Linda paused- responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem.

I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally

honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

 
"Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening – and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented." Arnold Palmer.

HognitiveDissonance

February 24, 2016, 11:40:01 pm #1
Later in the relationship, Ed and Linda are playing golf together.
A group is stacked on the tee box waiting to hit. While Ed is waiting for the fairway to clear, Linda walks ahead closer to her tee box.
Ed finally tees off, but lines one straight off his wife's head, knocking her out cold.
Linda is rushed to the hospital.
After an hour of examination, the doctor confides to Ed that she's going to be alright.

Ed: "Whew...I was really worried there for a while."
Doctor: "There's one thing I don't understand."
Ed: "What's that?"
Doctor: "You said that your tee shot lined off your wife's head?"
Ed: "Yes."
Doctor: "Well, we also found a golf ball in your wife's rectum. How could that be?"
Ed: "Oh....that was my mulligan."
 
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