Great Aggie Joke Thread

[DEVICEHIGH]

[ark8302]

 How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?

Three.  One to do the eating and two to watch for cars.

[Hog-On-Fire]

What do you get when you drive by college station real slow?


A degree.

[Blue35]

Texas A&M discontinued its driver education program. The mule died

[Lil Snort]

Bubba had been going to University of Arkansas for 11 years and just couldn't graduate. One day, the dean of students calls Bubba in to his office and says, "Bubba, we're going to give you the opportunity to graduate. In a month, at half time of the homecoming football game, we are going to bring you out on the field and ask you one question. If you get it right, you get your degree. If you get it wrong, you have to go home without it and not come back."


Bubba agreed to this and ran off to start studying. He studied night and day for a month. Finally the day came. It was a special day with homecoming and Bubba's shindig. The whole stadium was packed with Arkansas students and alumni, all waiting to see how Bubba would do. The dean stepped up and said, "Bubba, are you ready for your question?"
Bubba said he was.




The dean said, "Bubba, what is 3 X 3?"




Bubba thought about it for about ten minutes and then finally stepped up to the microphone and said, "9?"




Before the dean could respond, thousands of the Arkansas students and alumni jumped up and yelled, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!"

[whatsshakinbacon]

Bubba had been going to University of Arkansas for 11 years and just couldn't graduate. One day, the dean of students calls Bubba in to his office and says, "Bubba, we're going to give you the opportunity to graduate. In a month, at half time of the homecoming football game, we are going to bring you out on the field and ask you one question. If you get it right, you get your degree. If you get it wrong, you have to go home without it and not come back."


Bubba agreed to this and ran off to start studying. He studied night and day for a month. Finally the day came. It was a special day with homecoming and Bubba's shindig. The whole stadium was packed with Arkansas students and alumni, all waiting to see how Bubba would do. The dean stepped up and said, "Bubba, are you ready for your question?"
Bubba said he was.




The dean said, "Bubba, what is 3 X 3?"




Bubba thought about it for about ten minutes and then finally stepped up to the microphone and said, "9?"




Before the dean could respond, thousands of the Arkansas students and alumni jumped up and yelled, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!"

uh...go back a few posts.  If you had read first you would have seen that this was done with an A&M student.

Aggies can't even get a joke thread right.

Bacon out...

[HoginIllinois]

Bubba had been going to University of Arkansas for 11 years and just couldn't graduate. One day, the dean of students calls Bubba in to his office and says, "Bubba, we're going to give you the opportunity to graduate. In a month, at half time of the homecoming football game, we are going to bring you out on the field and ask you one question. If you get it right, you get your degree. If you get it wrong, you have to go home without it and not come back."


Bubba agreed to this and ran off to start studying. He studied night and day for a month. Finally the day came. It was a special day with homecoming and Bubba's shindig. The whole stadium was packed with Arkansas students and alumni, all waiting to see how Bubba would do. The dean stepped up and said, "Bubba, are you ready for your question?"
Bubba said he was.




The dean said, "Bubba, what is 3 X 3?"




Bubba thought about it for about ten minutes and then finally stepped up to the microphone and said, "9?"




Before the dean could respond, thousands of the Arkansas students and alumni jumped up and yelled, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!"

If your going to copy something at least get it from a different thread.

[DEVICEHIGH]

[HouTxRzbck]

Have you been there.  That's a joke in its self.

[oldbooniehog]

Ag-gies.....Ag-gies......Ag-gies......

When I was in the Razorback Bands...Marching and Hogwild.....we would chant "Ag-gies" and point and laugh at any player from any opposing team who fumbled or dropped a pass or committed a stupid penalty or who committed a turnover, or missed a dunk, or anything else that would qualify as behavior characterstic of an Aggie.

Ag-gie.......Ag-gie........Ag-gie......

[OzarkHighs]

The Aggie BB Team was on its way to play a game and showed up two days late. When asked what happen, they replied "Every gas station we drove by said Clean Bathrooms and it took awhile to clean all those bathrooms."

[Lil Snort]

But it sounds so much more believable this way.......

[DEVICEHIGH]

[LSPRazorbac]

An Aggie that was hunting in the woods when he happened upon this beautiful woman laying naked in
the grass. He asked her, "Are you game?" The woman said "yes."
            So he shot her.

[U.P. HOGG]

How do you confuse an Aggie?

Put him in a circular room and tell him to piss in a corner!

[LSPRazorbac]

Did you hear about the Aggie that broke his leg raking leaves?
            He fell out of the tree.

[txag007]

Why did an Arkansas inventor call it a toothbrush when he invented it?

Because anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush.

[LSPRazorbac]

A Longhorn, a Techster and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I'll have a TC. The bartender says ''what's that?" . The Longhorn says ''you know, a Tom Collins." The Techster says ''I'll have a PC." The bartender says ''what's that?" The Techster says "a Pina Colida."
The Aggie says "I'll have a 15." The bartender says ''what's that?" The aggie says "you know -- seven & seven".

[U.P. HOGG]

A Longhorn, a Techster and an Aggie went into a bar for a drink. The longhorn tells the bartender, I'll have a TC. The bartender says ''what's that?" . The Longhorn says ''you know, a Tom Collins." The Techster says ''I'll have a PC." The bartender says ''what's that?" The Techster says "a Pina Colida."
The Aggie says "I'll have a 15." The bartender says ''what's that?" The aggie says "you know -- seven & seven".

Thats good!!

[LSPRazorbac]

An Aggie and a Longhorn are in hell. The Longhorn is chained to an ugly old woman and the Aggie is chained to Pamela Anderson. The devil comes in and tells the two unfortunate souls that they will be in this situation for eternity. The Longhorn asks the devil why he is chained to the ugly old woman. The devil replies, "this is your punishment for being so mean to all those Aggies over the years." The Longhorn then asks, " if this is hell, why does the Aggie get to be chained to Pamela Anderson"?
To which the devil replies, "That's Pamela Anderson's punishment"!

[demonHOG1013]

all jokes aside...one reason to like a&m....they genetically engineer carrots to grow maroon instead of orange, because of their hatred for the Texas Longhorns

[KingoftheHill]

How do you get an A&M grad off your porch





Pay for the pizza.

[DEVICEHIGH]

[football-writer]

You heard about the tornado that hit College Station...
It caused $5 thousand in improvements.


Three Aggies and a Razorback fan were going down the highway.  The Razorback fan was driving  while the Aggies were riding in the back. When the truck tried to cross a bridge it fell in and the Aggies drowned.  When asked why the Razorback fan didn't and the Aggies did, the Arkanssas fan said, "They couldn't get the tailgate down!!"

[gkimrey]

A LONGHORN WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH HIS PRIZE BULL'S EYES GOING CROSS. HE WOULD TAKE A SHORT PIECE OF PIPE AND STICK IT UP THE BULLS BACKSIDE AND BLOW. THIS WOULD ALWAYS CORRECT THE PROBLEM. ONE DAY, THIS DIDN'T WORK BUT AN AGGIE HAPPENED BY AND SAID HE HAD THE SOLUTION. HE TOOK OUT THE PIPE AND TURNED IT OVER ,INSERTING THE OTHER SIDE. THE LONGHORN ASKED WHY HE DID THAT. THE AGGIE SAID "YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TO PUT MY LIPS WHERE YOU PUT YOURS"

[Texas-is-better]

Wow guys, i've never heard any of these before. And you are talking about copying stuff, but you did the same photo shop 18 times.

[no1rainh20]

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN CROSS AN AGGIE WITH A RAZORBACK? NOTHING THERE ARE SOME THINGS EVEN A HOG WONT DO!!!

[kgr]

Bubba had been going to University of Arkansas for 11 years and just couldn't graduate. One day, the dean of students calls Bubba in to his office and says, "Bubba, we're going to give you the opportunity to graduate. In a month, at half time of the homecoming football game, we are going to bring you out on the field and ask you one question. If you get it right, you get your degree. If you get it wrong, you have to go home without it and not come back."


Bubba agreed to this and ran off to start studying. He studied night and day for a month. Finally the day came. It was a special day with homecoming and Bubba's shindig. The whole stadium was packed with Arkansas students and alumni, all waiting to see how Bubba would do. The dean stepped up and said, "Bubba, are you ready for your question?"
Bubba said he was.




The dean said, "Bubba, what is 3 X 3?"




Bubba thought about it for about ten minutes and then finally stepped up to the microphone and said, "9?"




Before the dean could respond, thousands of the Arkansas students and alumni jumped up and yelled, "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!"

uh...go back a few posts.  If you had read first you would have seen that this was done with an A&M student.

Aggies can't even get a joke thread right.

Bacon out...

You are so right.  As I said earlier, From where do Aggie jokes come?  True Stories.

[football-writer]

An Aggie graduate goes to a doctor looking to get a vasectomy.
"Dr. I need to get a vasectomy but I don't have that much money."
His dr looks at him and says, "get a mason jar, drop a lit firecracker in and count to 10."

The Aggie doesn't think that's right so he goes to another doctor he knows.
"Dr. How can I get a vasectomy?
The doctor looks at him and repeats the first doctor's instruction, "light a firecracker, drop it in a mason jar and count to 10."
It still doesn't sound right to him so he approaches a Razorback med student. 
"Do you know how to get a vasectomy?"
"Yeah," he tells him, " but it involves outpatient surgery.  They'll give you a local and," He stopps realizing his friend looks confused.  "Wait a minute, Where did you go to college?"
"Texas A&M," he says with pride.  "I'm an Aggie and proud of it."
"O.K. in that case light a firecracker, drop it in a mason jar and count to 10."

After hearing it from three different people the Agie is convinced it will be easier than he thinks.
He lights the firecracker and drops it into the mason jar he holds in his left hand.  Counting beginning with his right hand, he begins.  "One, two, three, four, five," he puts the jar between his legs, "six, seven, eight..." 

[PolishPigPower]

An Aggie went with his Mexican buddy to pay the Mexican guy's phone bill.  As they drove down the road, suddenly the Aggie started telling him, "Stop!  You passed it!"  The Mexican didn't know what he was talking about, until he turned around and saw the Taco Bell sign...

What does France and Texas A&M have in common?
France is good at raising white flags.  So is A&M... minus the 'L'...

[hoppytoad]

NCAA checking for skeleton's in the closet....found the 1958 winner of the hide 'n seek contest.

[Hawg_in_aggie_HELL]

f it

[Brand X Hog Fan]

A couple Aggies were out in the scrub south of San Angelo deer hunting when they dropped a nice 10 point. They dressed him out and each grabbed a hind leg and started dragging him back to the truck. The huge rack was snagging on every other piece of sage brush and mesquite they passed. Bubba says, "Hey Delmer, let's drag 'is critter by 'es horns an' it might be easier on us."

They move around to the head of the buck and each hunter grabs an antler and off they go. After about a mile and a half Bubba says, "See thar, I tol' ya this'd be easier!"

Delmer replied, "Yup, its a damn sight easier but ain't we gettin' awful far from the truck?"

[Brand X Hog Fan]

wow . . . one banned aggie

[kitshicker]

You know what you have when there are 32 aggie women in a bar?





A full set of teeth.

[U.P. HOGG]

Nice pic.  See ya later aggie.

[Brand X Hog Fan]

Nice pic.  See ya later aggie.

What the heck was he thinking? That one there is reportable to the feds fer pete's sake!

[U.P. HOGG]

Hey Hawg in aggie hell, I bet thats the closest you'll ever be to a piece of that.

[U.P. HOGG]

Nice pic.  See ya later aggie.

What the heck was he thinking? That one there is reportable to the feds fer pete's sake!

"Stay classy College Station"

I'm surprised its still up.

[Ashdownpanther]

An Aggie and A Hog fan were in the john at the football game.  When the hog fan finished whizzing, he started walking out.  The Aggie, being cocky, said in a loud voice.  " At A&M, they teach us to wash our hands when we finish whizzing".............. the hog fan stopped dead in his tracks , turned and said " At Arkansas, they teach us not to whiz on our hands"

[kitshicker]

Nice pic.  See ya later aggie.

What the heck was he thinking? That one there is reportable to the feds fer pete's sake!

And it should be. My 16 yr old son gets on this site sometimes. He'll be trying to make it his new wallpaper or something..............just kidding.

[Ashdownpanther]

That there is Billy Bob's sister.  Well, at least she's married.

[Brand X Hog Fan]

An Aggie graduate goes to a doctor looking to get a vasectomy.
"Dr. I need to get a vasectomy but I don't have that much money."
His dr looks at him and says, "get a mason jar, drop a lit firecracker in and count to 10."

The Aggie doesn't think that's right so he goes to another doctor he knows.
"Dr. How can I get a vasectomy?
The doctor looks at him and repeats the first doctor's instruction, "light a firecracker, drop it in a mason jar and count to 10."
It still doesn't sound right to him so he approaches a Razorback med student. 
"Do you know how to get a vasectomy?"
"Yeah," he tells him, " but it involves outpatient surgery.  They'll give you a local and," He stopps realizing his friend looks confused.  "Wait a minute, Where did you go to college?"
"Texas A&M," he says with pride.  "I'm an Aggie and proud of it."
"O.K. in that case light a firecracker, drop it in a mason jar and count to 10."

After hearing it from three different people the Agie is convinced it will be easier than he thinks.
He lights the firecracker and drops it into the mason jar he holds in his left hand.  Counting beginning with his right hand, he begins.  "One, two, three, four, five," he puts the jar between his legs, "six, seven, eight..." 

We have a winner!! That 's funny right there!

[Spiral_cut]

What does an Aggie girl say on her wedding night? "Carefull Pa, you'll crush my smokes".

[Oklahawg]

The Old Arkansas letterman passed away. Upon being ushered into heaven he asked St. Peter if he could visit his old foes from the Southwest Conference Days. St. Peter looked disappointed and said, "I'm sorry, but during the 80s all of the southwest conference schools were caught cheating and didn't make it to heaven as a result. I can let you go visit them in hell but just this once and for just an hour."

Upon being met at the gate of Hades, the UA letterman asks Satan where the Texas Tech grad is at. He is shown a room with a Tech grad on fire, but he waves and smiles at the UA grad as Satan closes the door.

The Ua letterman then asks Satan where the SMU grad is at. He is shown a room with a grad from SMU frozen inside a solid block of ice. The UA letterman shudders and exits, asking about the Texas grad.

Satan shows the UA letterman the next room. The UT grad is up to his neck in feces and the smell is intense. The UA letterman stifles a gag-reflex and waves at the UT grad. The UT grad waves back and greets the UA letterman, "Its good to see you, Hog fan!"

"This is awful!" The UA letterman screams. "The Tech grad is on fire. The SMU grad is frozen in a block of ice. And, here you are, the Texas grad, are up to your neck in feces. My God, what could be worse?"

"Oh, its not so bad," said the UT grad, "you should see the A&M grad."

"Why's that? Where's the A&M grad?" the UA letterman asked.

"I'm standing on his shoulders."

[whatsshakinbacon]

Little did I know the great material we had when I started this thread.

You guys are hilarious.

Bacon out...

[Shawn90]

OH BOY real creative, using all the jokes that tu and the other Big XII schools say about A&M just replacing tu or OU with Arkansas.......Oh yeah but don't let me interrupt

[whatsshakinbacon]

OH BOY real creative, using all the jokes that tu and the other Big XII schools say about A&M just replacing tu or OU with Arkansas.......Oh yeah but don't let me interrupt

So why come you think everybody jokes about Aggies?  Why not Sooners or Longhorns or Red Raiders?

That says a lot in and of itself.

Bacon out...

[Adam Stokes]

  Two Aggies were walking around college station at night.  One looks up at the moon and asks the other, "Which is closer, the moon or Arkansas?"

  Out of disgust the other responds, "I can't believe you.  Can you see Arkansas from here?"

[CampuspostmanHOG]

.