From the Bench - Eleven Reasons to Hate the Kentucky Wildcats in the Sweet Sixteen

[Robert Shields]

Eleven Reasons to Hate the Kentucky Wildcats in the Sweet Sixteen

Robert Shields

If you were unfortunate enough to come across an article last week written by "Mrs. Tyler Thompson" of Kentucky Sports Radio that was titled "11 Reasons Why America Should Root for Kentucky," then you now know what a wonderful program they have over in Lexington even beyond the current winning streak.

The article points out that those Kentucky Wildcat players get involved in the community and basically walk the earth doing good works when not playing ball for Coach Cal.

They are such an incredible team, as the following passage illustrates, that we should all be grateful to be able to watch such beauty: "Watching Kentucky play is like watching a ballet of giants... when Willie gets the ball and a clear path to the basket, it feels like the basketball gods slow down time so that everyone can fully appreciate his gift."

My favorite part of the myopic Kentucky viewpoint is that the piece was written like no other schools in America have basketball players that fans think "are a special group" who go visit schools and hospitals and love hanging out together.

Basically, only in Kentucky do you not realize that your list of 11 reasons to love your school applies to nearly every other basketball program in America. I especially like the part about the "nerdy kinesiology major" that never identifies what kinesiology is – as if that's the major that all the nerds gravitate toward.

(Note: Kinesiology is physical education and popular course of study for scholarship athletes in basketball and football. It is actually the last place on campus you would expect to find Sheldon V. Nerdster.)

So as a favor to America in an effort to counterbalance this absurd list, here are my 11 reasons to be against Kentucky now that this special group that is "not identified by one-and-dones," according to the article, has advanced to the sweet sixteen.

1) If you're pulling for Kentucky, it's like pulling for the bully at the school when he is stealing from the younger kids. You want to be able to cheer when the David slugs the Goliath in the mouth and knocks him down. It's memories like this that have made the NCAA tournament so great, and it's time to make a new memory involving Kentucky getting beat by a last-second halfcourt shot.

2) You should pull against Kentucky because Ashley Judd is for them. Who brings their dog to an NCAA tournament game? Ashley Judd does. Who kisses Dick Vitale? Ashley Judd does. She is quickly becoming the Kim Kardashian of the NCAA basketball world. Plus she badmouthed the Razorbacks saying that they played dirty. What? Kentucky has taken playing dirty to new heights on and off the court.

3) You should pull against Kentucky because they are emblematic of what is wrong with college basketball. The number of players who go to Kentucky and play a year or two and then leave is the reason college basketball is not as fun as it used to be and as a bonus is damaging the NBA. Kentucky is not just part of the problem – it is the problem.

4) If you have ever met a Kentucky fan, then you know why you should hate them. Oh for the days when Nolan Richardson used to walk into Rupp Arena and shut them up.

5) If Kentucky wins, it will just perpetuate the problem of John Calipari continuing to be rewarded and lavished with accolades after leaving a wake of destruction at every college program he's ever headed in the past.

6) The only good thing to come out of Kentucky is bourbon and even that is debatable.

7) It's fun to see streaks end. You never hear anyone say, "it's a shame that Bill Walton team didn't beat Notre Dame and keep winning." Or, in football, "It would have been nice for Florida State to have beaten Oregon in the college football playoff and just keep winning." It's time for this streak to end in glorious fashion.

You can't respect an SEC school that has forsaken football and only worries about basketball. Why Kentucky wasn't jettisoned to Conference USA long ago is beyond me.

9) Kentucky is the new Duke. Not only should America not be jumping on the bandwagon to root for them, but websites should be popping up solely dedicated to hating this school that sold its soul in hiring Calipari. He is one motorcycle ride away from scandal.

10) "When they called me, believe me, I would have crawled all the way to Lexington." Never forget.

11) You never want to have to look back in life and think, I pulled for Kentucky.



Tweet your #12threason why we should all hate Kentucky to lose to @robert1shields.

[OLDHOG]

+1, well done.

[mckinneyhog5]

Who is Robert Shields? 

[ricepig]

Wrong forum

[The_Iceman]

[phadedhawg]

Great post! 

I'm totally down with anybody who writes something slamming Kentucky. 

+1 for mentioning the Judd dog.

[Inhogswetrust]

Good grief Robert.............even when you DO miraculously write something most people would like you mess it up..............ONLY 11 reasons? Most can think of at least three dozen!

[Ragnar Hogbrok]

If I had read the OP, I would disagree just to disagree. But since I didn't read it, I cannot opine.

By the by, just who  in the heck is Robert Shields?

[BigE_23]

Wrong forum

This

[MountieDawg]

Robert doesn't know there is a Jump Ball Forum..

[ricepig]

Robert doesn't know there is a Jump Ball Forum..

Just a grain of sand in the desert on that list.

[zane]

Dear Bob

The president has a message for you......

[Hoggish1]

Nice job, Robert.  I am looking forward to seeing them choke vs. WV like they did when John Wall was there.  It would be very sweet to see it again!

[Robert Shields]

Nice job, Robert.  I am looking forward to seeing them choke vs. WV like they did when John Wall was there.  It would be very sweet to see it again!

West Virginia could pose some problems for them, but more than likely they get hammered.

[The_Iceman]

we did just fine over here in Jump Ball without these posts.

[intelligence]

[ronmahony]

I pulled for Kentucky last year, mostly because we beat them twice. Every game they won made us look better. They are different this year, now I am pulling for anybody they play. They just seem dirtier this year.

[HogWild09]

tl:dr

About 10-12 paragraphs too many for my liking

[Großer Kriegschwein]

Nm

[Ham Sandwich]

Why do so many people hate on this guy?

[NS02]

I enjoyed reading your article.  I can't wait to see someone knock them off. 

[MountieDawg]

I enjoyed reading your article.  I can't wait to see someone knock them off. 

You may have to wait a year.

[BadHog]

Wrong forum. Should be in the trash can

[UKChamps]

So, so salty.  LOL.

Eleven Reasons to Hate the Kentucky Wildcats in the Sweet Sixteen

Robert Shields

If you were unfortunate enough to come across an article last week written by "Mrs. Tyler Thompson" of Kentucky Sports Radio that was titled "11 Reasons Why America Should Root for Kentucky," then you now know what a wonderful program they have over in Lexington even beyond the current winning streak.

The article points out that those Kentucky Wildcat players get involved in the community and basically walk the earth doing good works when not playing ball for Coach Cal.

They are such an incredible team, as the following passage illustrates, that we should all be grateful to be able to watch such beauty: "Watching Kentucky play is like watching a ballet of giants... when Willie gets the ball and a clear path to the basket, it feels like the basketball gods slow down time so that everyone can fully appreciate his gift."

My favorite part of the myopic Kentucky viewpoint is that the piece was written like no other schools in America have basketball players that fans think "are a special group" who go visit schools and hospitals and love hanging out together.

Basically, only in Kentucky do you not realize that your list of 11 reasons to love your school applies to nearly every other basketball program in America. I especially like the part about the "nerdy kinesiology major" that never identifies what kinesiology is – as if that's the major that all the nerds gravitate toward.

(Note: Kinesiology is physical education and popular course of study for scholarship athletes in basketball and football. It is actually the last place on campus you would expect to find Sheldon V. Nerdster.)

So as a favor to America in an effort to counterbalance this absurd list, here are my 11 reasons to be against Kentucky now that this special group that is "not identified by one-and-dones," according to the article, has advanced to the sweet sixteen.

1) If you're pulling for Kentucky, it's like pulling for the bully at the school when he is stealing from the younger kids. You want to be able to cheer when the David slugs the Goliath in the mouth and knocks him down. It's memories like this that have made the NCAA tournament so great, and it's time to make a new memory involving Kentucky getting beat by a last-second halfcourt shot.

2) You should pull against Kentucky because Ashley Judd is for them. Who brings their dog to an NCAA tournament game? Ashley Judd does. Who kisses Dick Vitale? Ashley Judd does. She is quickly becoming the Kim Kardashian of the NCAA basketball world. Plus she badmouthed the Razorbacks saying that they played dirty. What? Kentucky has taken playing dirty to new heights on and off the court.

3) You should pull against Kentucky because they are emblematic of what is wrong with college basketball. The number of players who go to Kentucky and play a year or two and then leave is the reason college basketball is not as fun as it used to be and as a bonus is damaging the NBA. Kentucky is not just part of the problem – it is the problem.

4) If you have ever met a Kentucky fan, then you know why you should hate them. Oh for the days when Nolan Richardson used to walk into Rupp Arena and shut them up.

5) If Kentucky wins, it will just perpetuate the problem of John Calipari continuing to be rewarded and lavished with accolades after leaving a wake of destruction at every college program he's ever headed in the past.

6) The only good thing to come out of Kentucky is bourbon and even that is debatable.

7) It's fun to see streaks end. You never hear anyone say, "it's a shame that Bill Walton team didn't beat Notre Dame and keep winning." Or, in football, "It would have been nice for Florida State to have beaten Oregon in the college football playoff and just keep winning." It's time for this streak to end in glorious fashion.

You can't respect an SEC school that has forsaken football and only worries about basketball. Why Kentucky wasn't jettisoned to Conference USA long ago is beyond me.

9) Kentucky is the new Duke. Not only should America not be jumping on the bandwagon to root for them, but websites should be popping up solely dedicated to hating this school that sold its soul in hiring Calipari. He is one motorcycle ride away from scandal.

10) "When they called me, believe me, I would have crawled all the way to Lexington." Never forget.

11) You never want to have to look back in life and think, I pulled for Kentucky.



Tweet your #12threason why we should all hate Kentucky to lose to @robert1shields.

[BayofPigs]

Actually I thought this was pretty good

[Westcoasthog]

   Calapari is a crook, pays his players to play for Kentucky,  pass the courses
taken by a computer, also the teacher by their computer is giving them the answers. Calapari when at UMASS and MEMPHIS got put on probation, had to
void out their championships and banners and were put on PROBATION. THIS WILL HAPPEN AT KENTUCKY THE NCAA WILL PUT KENTUCKY ON PROBATION AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP BANNERS UNDER CALAPARI WILL BE VOID, THE BANNERS WILL COME DOWN!

[UKChamps]

   Calapari is a crook, pays his players to play for Kentucky,  pass the courses
taken by a computer, also the teacher by their computer is giving them the answers. Calapari when at UMASS and MEMPHIS got put on probation, had to
void out their championships and banners and were put on PROBATION. THIS WILL HAPPEN AT KENTUCKY THE NCAA WILL PUT KENTUCKY ON PROBATION AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP BANNERS UNDER CALAPARI WILL BE VOID, THE BANNERS WILL COME DOWN!

[Porkem]

+1, well done.

Ditto that! Great, great post Robert!

[GatorHog]

Thanks, Rob.  11 reasons to hate 'em, and 1 massive reason to cheer for them.

[Inhogswetrust]

It's NOT just Cal people hate about UK.............................

[SooiecidetillNuttgone]

Good post RS.

[Calling All Hogs]

Hard to cheer for your SEC brethren when they have the crazy girlfriend Ashley.

[Tusks]

I hate fricken KY jelly.  They should be in the ohio valley conference.

AYFKM, the players don't even go to class.  WTH, are you kidding me.  They will cause too much of a commotion ? 

So they've set up a big arse room with computers and internet access so they can attend class.  That's rich.  I wonder how much it pays to sit in front of a computer and take the test for players.  Probably one of the higher paying jobs in the state.

If you go to college on the schools dime then you damn well should go to a fricken classroom.

I hate KY.

[cypert2]

Great article, Robert.  The posters with their little tl;dr and lol didn't reads might try actually reading the article.  Probably take less time than finding their "cute" little gifs. Guess they need something to pass the time during middle school recess.

[zane]

Great article, Robert.  The posters with their little tl;dr and lol didn't reads might try actually reading the article.  Probably take less time than finding their "cute" little gifs. Guess they need something to pass the time during middle school recess.

[LSUFan]

Robert, from the ancient Greek, translates to Panty

[HogWild09]

Great article, Robert.  The posters with their little tl;dr and lol didn't reads might try actually reading the article.  Probably take less time than finding their "cute" little gifs. Guess they need something to pass the time during middle school recess.

Lol wut?

[Chic-Hog-Oh]

Eleven Reasons to Like Robert Shields' Articles:

#1: His writing is actually improving. Seriously. Go back to the early days. The fact that it could have only gotten better is beside the point.

Number 2: It's too easy to do something inappropriate here.

#'s 3-9: There are no #'s 3-9.

#10: Even the most Shields-defending, curmudgeonly Hogvillians have to admit to themselves that they giggle-snort under their breath at the subsequent, hilarious "Did Not Read!" gifs.

#11: "This one goes to eleven."