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Couple of Cautions on the Coaching Search Talk

Started by WilsonHog, October 18, 2017, 02:38:47 pm

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lakecityhog

With the ?proliferation? of 7 on 7 finding kids that can throw and catch should be VERY easy. Running a scheme to get rid of the ball quickly reduces the need for  the best O'Line play. Lots of pluses for a program with limited recruiting abilities.

To me the biggest question mark is can this type of coach still incorporate the run game? That is one of the things that made BP so productive, spreading the ball around and pounding the run game. Truthfully running backs are not hard to find, elite running backs, yes, but good solid backs are everywhere.

My biggest fear with this style of offense is the added pressure put on the defense.

rude1

Hope the last search ends better than the last one. I was completely underwhelmed with BB hire. After doing lots of research on his style and the kind of football he like to play, I was convinced we were doomed to Nutt 2.0. Little did I know that he would be even worse than that..................

 

snoblind

Quote from: Oklahawg on October 18, 2017, 06:54:57 pm
Knowing what I know about the CBB hire, most of you would be stunned at the detail and effort that will go into it. Probably already going into it (even if we don't have one - being prepared, in other words).

There will almost always be a "distractor" name, a candidate that seems to be "it" (and in our case with Mike Gundy, THOUGHT he was it!) but is not.

Meh.  Apparently Long didn't put in enough effort and detail into his search to figure out that the Wisconsin program was and is ran by Alvarez.  Color me not stunned.

OneTuskOverTheLine™

Quote from: Großer Kriegschwein on October 18, 2017, 03:15:17 pm
God Almighty.

Do you ever stop?

You do realize that when you say the same thing over and over again that nobody takes you seriously anymore?
At least he dropped the "Carpet Bagger" bit... Delta's good people. He just really doesn't like Jeff Long.
Quote from: capehog on March 12, 2010...
My ex wife had a pet monkey I used to play with. That was one of the few things I liked about her

quote from: golf2day on June 19, 2014....
I'm disgusted, but kinda excited. Now I'm disgusted that I'm excited.

grayhawg

Quote from: snoblind on October 18, 2017, 09:59:39 pm
Meh.  Apparently Long didn't put in enough effort and detail into his search to figure out that the Wisconsin program was and is ran by Alvarez.  Color me not stunned.
Yea Bielema's love letter captured Long's heart and killed us.

longpig

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 18, 2017, 02:46:46 pm
I hope Long is not here to make that call.

Fire Uncommon Jeff Integrity Long.  Cause he great at making money and it too Long between Uncommon Wins.

#UncommonWins
Don't be scared, be smart.

Pork Twain

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 18, 2017, 02:46:46 pm
I hope Long is not here to make that call.

Fire Uncommon Jeff Integrity Long.  Cause he great at making money and it too Long between Uncommon Wins.
I am not sure of this magical AD is out there with Arkansas roots and never makes a bad hire exists, but if you have a problem with what Long has done, you would likely be unhappy with most ADs out there.  If that was the case, JFB was a failure based on Kines, Crowe, Ford, HDN, Heath, and Pel.  Everyone is allowed to make a hiring mistake here and there.  Look no further than aTm (Franchione, Sherman & Sumlin), LSU (Orgeron), Florida (Muschamp & Durkin) and Tennessee (Kiffin, Dooley & Jones).  We are far from alone here.  As for the CBP disaster, it was awful and I am sure Long wishes it would have never have happened and he would have never been forced to make the choices he did, but choices I seriously doubt he made without input from many.  I figure the toughest decision for those most critical of him is whether to have grits or oatmeal for breakfast.

Now as far as coaching searches go on Hogville, I LOVE THEM and everyone with all of their BS SOURCES.  So far sources on Hogville have about a 5% accuracy rate for Heath, Pel, Anderson, HDN and assistants, CBP, JLS, and CBB.  I have little doubt that will change.
"It is better to be an optimist and proven wrong, than a pessimist and proven right." ~Pork Twain

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Ex-Trumpet

Quote from: WilsonHog on October 18, 2017, 02:38:47 pm
First and most obvious, we don't yet have one. As someone who was an admin around here for the Nutt Era, I can tell you that there were two or three times when everything pointed to him taking another job or being fired; smoke everywhere, and that's all it was. Do I think we will? Yeah. Am I certain to the point that I would put a .38 to my head and pull the trigger if I was wrong? No.

Secondly, I remember sitting in an airplane on the tarmac at Logan Airport in Boston when it was announced Bielema was our new coach. First time anyone in our fan base had heard his name mentioned in connection with our job. Point is, when he was hired one of the things Jeff Long was tasked with was cleaning up all information leaks out of the Broyles Complex. All information flows through him. So when you hear a particular guy's name as our new coach, you'd better take it with a grain of salt until you see him standing at the podium. Chances are high it won't be someone very many people have talked about.

Having said all that, I love a coaching search. For a program like ours, it is just about the most exciting thing that happens.

It's a sad state of affairs when a coaching search is more exciting than the games themselves.
Do dyslexic, agnostic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog?

Michael D Huff AIA

Quote from: WilsonHog on October 18, 2017, 02:38:47 pm
First and most obvious, we don't yet have one. As someone who was an admin around here for the Nutt Era, I can tell you that there were two or three times when everything pointed to him taking another job or being fired; smoke everywhere, and that's all it was. Do I think we will? Yeah. Am I certain to the point that I would put a .38 to my head and pull the trigger if I was wrong? No.

Secondly, I remember sitting in an airplane on the tarmac at Logan Airport in Boston when it was announced Bielema was our new coach. First time anyone in our fan base had heard his name mentioned in connection with our job. Point is, when he was hired one of the things Jeff Long was tasked with was cleaning up all information leaks out of the Broyles Complex. All information flows through him. So when you hear a particular guy's name as our new coach, you'd better take it with a grain of salt until you see him standing at the podium. Chances are high it won't be someone very many people have talked about.

Having said all that, I love a coaching search. For a program like ours, it is just about the most exciting thing that happens.

I was sitting at my desk in my office waiting for the 11:00 hour when the news conference was going to start.  I admit that I had Hogville up on my screen refreshing every 10 seconds to see if anyone had "the scoop" on who our next coach was going to be.  The information flow out of Fayetteville was tighter than Ft. Knox.  Nobody knew.  Hogville had Gundy coming at 10:45 am.

When they announced CBB my heart sank because 1) I'd never heard of the guy, and 2) I thought we made the hire after a dozen other coaches turned us down.  I wasn't very happy about the hire. 

I do admit that looking to the future does bring a bit of excitement to an otherwise terrible year.

Ex-Trumpet

Do dyslexic, agnostic insomniacs lie awake at night wondering if there really is a dog?

Pig in the Pokey

Quote from: Ward on October 19, 2017, 08:02:04 am
I'm hearing Phil Fulmer, Rich Rodriquez and Major Applewhite
from the voices in your head?
You must be on one if you think i aint on one! ¥420¥   «roastin da bomb in fayettenam» Purspirit Gang

RazorPiggie

Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on October 19, 2017, 12:03:26 pm
from the voices in your head?

Voices in your head have you convinced that Leach is our next coach and its already a done deal. That's why WSU crapped the bed last week because 100+ players found out and were pissed. If the players know about it then the media knows about it yet they are silent.

snoblind

Quote from: RazorPiggie on October 19, 2017, 01:16:37 pm
Voices in your head have you convinced that Leach is our next coach and its already a done deal. That's why WSU crapped the bed last week because 100+ players found out and were pissed. If the players know about it then the media knows about it yet they are silent.

:)

 

DeltaBoy

Quote from: Großer Kriegschwein on October 18, 2017, 03:15:17 pm
God Almighty.

Do you ever stop?

You do realize that when you say the same thing over and over again that nobody takes you seriously anymore?

Go Hug Jeff for me and tell him HE FIRED!
If the South should lose, it means that the history of the heroic struggle will be written by the enemy, that our youth will be trained by Northern school teachers, will be impressed by all of the influences of history and education to regard our gallant dead as traitors and our maimed veterans as fit subjects for derision.
-- Major General Patrick Cleburne
The Confederacy had no better soldiers
than the Arkansans--fearless, brave, and oftentimes courageous beyond
prudence. Dickart History of Kershaws Brigade.

Großer Kriegschwein

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 19, 2017, 01:56:50 pm
Go Hug Jeff for me and tell him HE FIRED!

Kinda difficult. Besides, You're closer to him than me.

And you got some backwards man-crush on him. Might give you a rise.
This is my non-signature signature.

DeltaBoy

Quote from: Großer Kriegschwein on October 19, 2017, 01:58:39 pm
Kinda difficult. Besides, You're closer to him than me.

Besides you got some backwards man-crush on him. Might give you a rise.

I desist the man .  Next to Hatfield leaving and John White Hiring Nutt over Tubberville He on my most hated list cause he the worst hire the BOT made in the past 30 years.
If the South should lose, it means that the history of the heroic struggle will be written by the enemy, that our youth will be trained by Northern school teachers, will be impressed by all of the influences of history and education to regard our gallant dead as traitors and our maimed veterans as fit subjects for derision.
-- Major General Patrick Cleburne
The Confederacy had no better soldiers
than the Arkansans--fearless, brave, and oftentimes courageous beyond
prudence. Dickart History of Kershaws Brigade.

Großer Kriegschwein

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 19, 2017, 02:00:32 pm
I desist the man .  Next to Hatfield leaving and John White Hiring Nutt over Tubberville He on my most hated list cause he the worst hire the BOT made in the past 30 years.

Can anyone translate this for me?

Siri just started laughing.
This is my non-signature signature.

GuvHog

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 19, 2017, 02:00:32 pm
I desist the man .  Next to Hatfield leaving and John White Hiring Nutt over Tubberville He's on my most hated list cause he's the worst hire the BOT has made in the past 30 years.

The way the Pitt faithful were talking about Jeff Long before he left and they started uncorking the champagne to celebrate when he resigned was a dead giveaway that the U of A BOT had made a massive mistake when they hired him.
Bleeding Razorback Red Since Birth!!!

PonderinHog


WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 02:17:04 pm
The way the Pitt faithful were talking about Jeff Long before he left and they started uncorking the champagne to celebrate when he resigned was a dead giveaway that the U of A BOT had made a massive mistake when they hired him.

Similar to the massive mistakes Frank Broyles made in his last three football coaching hires...and last two basketball hires...
DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

WilsonHog

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 19, 2017, 01:56:50 pm
Go Hug Jeff for me and tell him HE FIRED!

I think he's about as far from being fired as a man can be.

Redhogs

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 02:17:04 pm
The way the Pitt faithful were talking about Jeff Long before he left and they started uncorking the champagne to celebrate when he resigned was a dead giveaway that the U of A BOT had made a massive mistake when they hired him.
Kinda like when Bert left Whisky...we got screwed from both directions.....
Will I live long enough to see us win again? Will any of us?

Redhogs

Will I live long enough to see us win again? Will any of us?

WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: Pork Twain on October 18, 2017, 11:08:40 pm
I am not sure of this magical AD is out there with Arkansas roots and never makes a bad hire exists, but if you have a problem with what Long has done, you would likely be unhappy with most ADs out there.  If that was the case, JFB was a failure based on Kines, Crowe, Ford, HDN, Heath, and Pel.  Everyone is allowed to make a hiring mistake here and there.  Look no further than aTm (Franchione, Sherman & Sumlin), LSU (Orgeron), Florida (Muschamp & Durkin) and Tennessee (Kiffin, Dooley & Jones).  We are far from alone here.  As for the CBP disaster, it was awful and I am sure Long wishes it would have never have happened and he would have never been forced to make the choices he did, but choices I seriously doubt he made without input from many.  I figure the toughest decision for those most critical of him is whether to have grits or oatmeal for breakfast.

Now as far as coaching searches go on Hogville, I LOVE THEM and everyone with all of their BS SOURCES.  So far sources on Hogville have about a 5% accuracy rate for Heath, Pel, Anderson, HDN and assistants, CBP, JLS, and CBB.  I have little doubt that will change.

This post is spot on.

Frank Broyles was far from perfect and actually brought both the football and basketball programs down in the last 10-15 years of his tenure.

Over 30 years had past from the time Frank won a National Championship in 1964 and his destruction of Razorback Athletics.

But lets continue to give him a pass for that shared 1964 National Championship.
DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

 

GuvHog

Quote from: WoooPigBrewie on October 19, 2017, 02:19:57 pm
Similar to the massive mistakes Frank Broyles made in his last three football coaching hires...and last two basketball hires...

Seriously?? The last 2 football head coach hires that Frank made were Jack Crowe and Danny Ford but he had nothing to do with Houston Nutt's hiring. Every football head coach hired from Houston Nutt on (BP being the exception) belonged to either John White or Jeff Long.

Frank's last 2 men's basketball head coach hires were Nolan Richardson and Dana Altman. Stan Heath and John Pelphrey were John White's hires.

John White took control of the Men's basketball program away from Frank in the early 90's.
Bleeding Razorback Red Since Birth!!!

WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 02:31:33 pm
Seriously?? The last 2 football head coach hires that Frank made were Jack Crowe and Danny Ford but he had nothing to do with Houston Nutt's hiring. Every football head coach hired from Houston Nutt on (BP being the exception) belonged to either John White or Jeff Long.

Frank's last 2 men's basketball head coach hires were Nolan Richardson and Dana Altman. Stan Heath and John Pelphrey were John White's hires.

John White took control of the Men's basketball program away from Frank in the early 90's.

Hmmm. I assume you can't produce one document in support of this assertation?

So Frank was allowed control in the MBB program for the Altman hire (2003) but not the other hires. Just a one time free pass? Good logic.

Even so, Jack Crowe had never been a head coach and Danny Ford hadn't coached in three years. Solid choices by the almighty Frank.
DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

GuvHog

Quote from: WoooPigBrewie on October 19, 2017, 02:39:10 pm
Hmmm. I assume you can’t produce one document in support of this assertation?

So Frank was allowed control in the MBB program for the Altman hire (2003) but not the other hires. Just a one time free pass? Good logic.

Even so, Jack Crowe had never been a head coach and Danny Ford hadn’t coached in three years. Solid choices by the almighty Frank.

Yes, John White did allow Frank to hire Altman. Frank agreed to allow Altman to bring a member of his staff with him from Creighton but after Frank left for Augusta, John White went behind his back and told Altman he could not bring that staff member with him which caused Altman to change his mind and stay at Creighton.

You are right about Crowe and Ford but that's 2 coaches, not 3 like you tried to say.
Bleeding Razorback Red Since Birth!!!

WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 02:46:25 pm
Yes, John White did allow Frank to hire Altman. Frank agreed to allow Altman to bring a member of his staff with him from Creighton but after Frank left for Augusta, John White went behind his back and told Altman he could not bring that staff member with him which caused Altman to change his mind and stay at Creighton.

You are right about Crowe and Ford but that's 2 coaches, not 3 like you tried to say.
So it is all a conspiracy?

Frank drastically harmed the program but very few people are willing to call out the almighty.
DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

GuvHog

Quote from: WoooPigBrewie on October 19, 2017, 02:50:56 pm
So it is all a conspiracy?

Frank drastically harmed the program but very few people are willing to call out the almighty.

He wasn't perfect and did make some mistakes but not the ones you are talking about.

Jeff Long did more harm to the program in 2012 than Frank ever did.
Bleeding Razorback Red Since Birth!!!

WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 03:00:33 pm
He wasn't perfect and did make some mistakes but not the ones you are talking about.

Unfortunately, you have no evidence of the claims you are making.

Hearing it from someone who wants to protect Frank does not make it truth.

Sorry.
DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

GuvHog

Quote from: WoooPigBrewie on October 19, 2017, 03:02:38 pm
Unfortunately, you have no evidence of the claims you are making.

Hearing it from someone who wants to protect Frank does not make it truth.

Sorry.

It's true. There are several on here who can verify it.
Bleeding Razorback Red Since Birth!!!

WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 03:04:21 pm
It's true. There are several on here on can verify it.
Can't wait to hear all about it.

For every one person that claims your scenario to be true, there is a person to rebut its truth.

DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

GuvHog

Quote from: WoooPigBrewie on October 19, 2017, 03:05:50 pm
Can't wait to hear all about it.

For every one person that claims your scenario to be true, there is a person to rebut its truth.



Sorry but there is not. Most everyone on here knows about the long battle between Frank Broyles and John White. White even tried to force Frank out once but the BOT sided with Frank.
Bleeding Razorback Red Since Birth!!!

WoooPigBrewie

Quote from: GuvHog on October 19, 2017, 03:09:38 pm
Sorry but there is not. Most everyone on here knows about the long battle between Frank Broyles and John White. White even tried to force Frank out once but the BOT sided with Frank.
Maybe we should make a simple poll.
DIAMOND BOWL BABY!

Grag T

Quote from: DeltaBoy on October 18, 2017, 02:46:46 pm
I hope Long is not here to make that call.

Fire Uncommon Jeff Integrity Long.  Cause he great at making money and it too Long between Uncommon Wins.

...
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live;  it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.  Unselfishness is letting other people's lives alone, not interfering with them.  Selfishness always aims at creating around it an absolute uniformity of type."  - Oscar Wilde

BallHog1


Athog

Quote from: Großer Kriegschwein on October 18, 2017, 07:12:56 pm
Jeff might just have Larry Coker on his list.

Never can tell with Jeff.

Well he had Bobby Petrino!

goodguytex

My gut tells me bielema will convince the ptb at Arkansas to give him one more year, and he will get it. Then if next year is a flop, I expect a change to be made. But that's depending on what Long does between now and then. If he all of a sudden takes an AD job elsewhere, then things could move quickly where bielema is concerned. If Long sticks around, bielema I don't think is going anywhere until January 2019. Just a gut feeling. Who knows for sure though.

Mr Jade

October 19, 2017, 05:12:39 pm #88 Last Edit: October 19, 2017, 05:57:49 pm by Mr Jade
Am I the only one that likes Long and does want Bielema to go?

Jaysus I messed up. I want CBB gone.
Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on November 27, 2017, 08:12:12 pmNORVELL, Baby.

*Please refrain from claimin "Pokey guaranteed Norvell!!!"*

Quote from: GuvHog on October 06, 2019, 07:52:47 pm
The game against SJS was an abnormality. Even though the players were cautioned not to, they got caught looking past SJS to A&M. They learned a valuable lesson and I don't see them repeating that mistake.

Hogs-n-Roses

Quote from: goodguytex on October 19, 2017, 05:06:01 pm
My gut tells me bielema will convince the ptb at Arkansas to give him one more year, and he will get it. Then if next year is a flop, I expect a change to be made. But that's depending on what Long does between now and then. If he all of a sudden takes an AD job elsewhere, then things could move quickly where bielema is concerned. If Long sticks around, bielema I don't think is going anywhere until January 2019. Just a gut feeling. Who knows for sure though.
My gut tells me that he has lost this team and he knows it. He could prolly stay but will choose to leave for carreer reasons.He can still do what Bobby did. Go out there and take a lesser college and flourish at which time his stock will rise again due to past credentials and could return to the limelight. Figure his agent to direct him to this. He'll be on some espn faction as announcer for a year then return.

hogfansince79

Quote from: MuskogeeHogFan on October 18, 2017, 07:20:48 pm
Exactly why it won't be him.

Long may not be a "win at all costs" kind of AD, but he knows now that even embracing that mantra, he has to have someone who will win more than this. Given what he has learned about trying to do it the way Bielema has tried to do it, I suspect that he will go to a coach who embraces a more wide open style of offense.

Why? Because we have to score a lot more points and you can recruit an offense that can do that as long as you embrace more of a passing style of offense, be able to recruit great QB's who can throw effectively and accurately, can recruit speed at skill positions and someone to teach an O-Line to pass block better.

Probably can't go with what we have in a more conservative offense because that requires a lot better defense to back it up and in the SEC, that requires recruiting at a much higher level on the defensive side of the ball. Are we going to out-recruit the likes of Alabama, Auburn, LSU, A&M, Georgia or Florida on the defensive side of the ball for premium athletes? Doubtful. So you better find someone who can recruit and creatively scheme an offense (not just half time adjustments but play to play) to pressure opposing defenses and then hope that your defense can play an effective BBDB style.

It's JMO but I think that this is the direction that Long will take given that the Bielema experiment hasn't worked out as planned in terms of enough wins to placate the masses.

Now if that all turns out to be true, then who does he go after that can provide that exciting style of offense that scores a bunch of points, puts butts in the bleachers and yet embraces his way of running a straight-laced program that keeps players under control, graduates players and can still provide more wins while maintaining the integrity of the program?

Answer that and you may have a pretty good list to start with and we still won't know who it is going to be until it happens.

I would start with Scott Frost or Mike Norvell (plays Houston tonight at 7:00)
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." — Will Rogers

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." — George Carlin

Tusks

JFB had a tentative agreement with Bill Self to come to the Hogs when Nolan was fired and White nixed it.  Told JFB it couldn't be done.
sometimes it's a good and some times it's a schit

PonderinHog


Hogs-n-Roses

Quote from: Mr Jade on October 19, 2017, 05:12:39 pm
Am I the only one that likes Long and doesn't want Bielema to go?
Maybe on Hogville. I did a poll that stayed up for a month and it resulted in 2/3 of those who voted(500) thought Long should go. I listen to talk radio and can't judge that figure. I realize this poll don't mean much but it does answer your question.

pignparadise

[/quot
Quote from: WoooPigBrewie on October 19, 2017, 02:50:56 pm
So it is all a conspiracy?

Frank drastically harmed the program but very few people are willing to call out the almighty.
Unlike your 52 post count, Frank had a history. He built  the Football, Basketball, Baseball and Track programs. Sure he may have stayed too long and made mistakes late that hurt the Athletic Department but it was HIS to hurt.
"The race is long.. and in the end it's only with yourself.....", Baz Luhrman "Sunscreen"

EulessHog

Hogville is made for speculation and I'm speculating. 

It's time we got some Arkansas blood here.  I'm all in for Charlie Strong! 

I'll even give him five years just like the foolish AD we got gave Bert. 
Go Hogs Go!

Pig in the Pokey

Quote from: RazorPiggie on October 19, 2017, 01:16:37 pm
Voices in your head have you convinced that Leach is our next coach and its already a done deal. That's why WSU crapped the bed last week because 100+ players found out and were pissed. If the players know about it then the media knows about it yet they are silent.
did NOBODY know about coach B being hired while Smiley was roaming the sidelines, or, did YOU just not hear about it?
You must be on one if you think i aint on one! ¥420¥   «roastin da bomb in fayettenam» Purspirit Gang

elksnort

Quote from: Großer Kriegschwein on October 18, 2017, 03:15:17 pm
God Almighty.

Do you ever stop?

You do realize that when you say the same thing over and over again that nobody takes you seriously anymore?
Literally laughing. It is a shame not to be able to see your face expression when you are typing this in disgust!

Mr Jade

Quote from: Hogs-n-Roses on October 19, 2017, 05:18:25 pm
Maybe on Hogville. I did a poll that stayed up for a month and it resulted in 2/3 of those who voted(500) thought Long should go. I listen to talk radio and can't judge that figure. I realize this poll don't mean much but it does answer your question.

I meant Bielema gone. I don't mind Long. He's done well with the Basketball program, but CBB needs to go.
Quote from: Pig in the Pokey on November 27, 2017, 08:12:12 pmNORVELL, Baby.

*Please refrain from claimin "Pokey guaranteed Norvell!!!"*

Quote from: GuvHog on October 06, 2019, 07:52:47 pm
The game against SJS was an abnormality. Even though the players were cautioned not to, they got caught looking past SJS to A&M. They learned a valuable lesson and I don't see them repeating that mistake.

Großer Kriegschwein

Quote from: elksnort on October 19, 2017, 05:40:52 pm
Literally laughing. It is a shame not to be able to see your face expression when you are typing this in disgust!

You probably imagined right.

It's like listening to Farmer Fan from Waterboy singing a Hank Sr song backwards on vinyl and replacing every other word with "Jeff Long" or "carpetbagger".
This is my non-signature signature.