Received the following Texas Bowl party invitation from Longhorn neighbor

[83grad]

Are you a Longhorn fan, a Razorback fan, or a fan of neither?  Then you're
just what we're looking for!!  In honor of the pending humiliating defeat of
the Razorbacks by the Texas Longhorns in the Texas Bowl, you are invited to
a victory party/wake for the Razorbacks @ the xxxxxxx abode on Monday, 29
December.  Drop in any time after 6:00 PM (that's 1800 for military types).
The game starts @ 8:00 PM.  We'll have beverages (beer, wine, soft drinks),
horse-duvers and lots of fun!  Plus you'll get to watch the crushing defeat
of the Hogs.  Feel free to bring whatever Hog gear you like (our Rec room
already has plenty of Texas stuff) and cheer on whomever you like - or no
one at all.  If you have an extra-special beverage you prefer, feel free to
bring it along.

Please respond to this email via the voting buttons (if you have MS Outlook)
and with the # of folks coming (so we can have enough food and R-Kansas
crying towels).  We hope to see y'all here.  Directions to follow.  Cheers, xxxxxx

MY RESPONSE:
I have never received such a smack talking invitation in my whole life so I am going to make a challenge to the shorthorn fans.  Since this is the season of giving, I will donate $2 to a charity for every point scored by that team from the conference that does not know how to count (Big 12 with only 10 teams).  Will the Texas fans donate $2 for every point the Razorbacks score?  I fully expect to be able to fund my donation with the change I throw in my nightstand drawer.

Add 2 Hog fans to your attendee count.

Merry Christmas & Go Hogs

[OneTuskOverTheLine™]

Good reply.... Rub their noses in it real good bro...

[Jek Tono Porkins]

Hahaha that is rich!

[MuskogeeHogFan]

Are you a Longhorn fan, a Razorback fan, or a fan of neither?  Then you're
just what we're looking for!!  In honor of the pending humiliating defeat of
the Razorbacks by the Texas Longhorns in the Texas Bowl, you are invited to
a victory party/wake for the Razorbacks @ the xxxxxxx abode on Monday, 29
December.  Drop in any time after 6:00 PM (that's 1800 for military types).
The game starts @ 8:00 PM.  We'll have beverages (beer, wine, soft drinks),
horse-duvers and lots of fun!  Plus you'll get to watch the crushing defeat
of the Hogs.  Feel free to bring whatever Hog gear you like (our Rec room
already has plenty of Texas stuff) and cheer on whomever you like - or no
one at all.  If you have an extra-special beverage you prefer, feel free to
bring it along.

Please respond to this email via the voting buttons (if you have MS Outlook)
and with the # of folks coming (so we can have enough food and R-Kansas
crying towels).  We hope to see y'all here.  Directions to follow.  Cheers, xxxxxx

MY RESPONSE:
I have never received such a smack talking invitation in my whole life so I am going to make a challenge to the shorthorn fans.  Since this is the season of giving, I will donate $2 to a charity for every point scored by that team from the conference that does not know how to count (Big 12 with only 10 teams).  Will the Texas fans donate $2 for every point the Razorbacks score?  I fully expect to be able to fund my donation with the change I throw in my nightstand drawer.

Add 2 Hog fans to your attendee count.

Merry Christmas & Go Hogs

They love to talk big, like everything else in Texas. You are going to have the opportunity to be able to rub their noses in it, but be classy instead. Something that they know nothing about.

My sister who has lived in Texas for 40 years is a transplanted Longhorn fan from Oklahoma (complete sacriledge). Hurts me even more being an Arkansas fan, but sometimes you have to cut relatives off when they go off the reservation.

But she can't help it, like a race that has been conquered, she has been involuntarily "assimilated" by the Borg (Texas-Star Trek). This changes ones ability to think independently and rationally. The same as Texas thinking that they are going to beat us in the Texas Bowl.

Go to the party. Enjoy the outcome. Conduct yourself in a way that would be different than that of Longhorn fans if they had won. Those dudes have no class. Enjoy the beat-down.

[PonderinHog]

'Tis the season!

[Doug]

Should've called his ass out on his spelling of "horse-duvers".

Guess that Texas ejumekayshun really paid off for them, huh?

[longpig]

What is wrong with those people?

[bigstyx]

No doubt Doug. Everyone knows it's horse-doovers. Dumba$$ Texans!!

[OneTuskOverTheLine™]

No doubt Doug. Everyone knows it's horse-doovers. Dumba$$ Texans!!

In Missippi it's whore-durvees...

[Buff]

Leave an upper decker in the master bathroom. 
Leave an upper decker in the other bathroom(s).
Take a dump in a closet, blame it on the dog.
Take a dump in the backyard, let them blame it on the dog later.
After the party, when they're cleaning up and everyone is gone, go leave a flaming bag of poo on the front porch, ring the doorbell, and run.

Make sure you keep mentioning that the Longhorn's logo happens to look exactly like a uterus.

Hide some dope under their bed, leave an anonymous tip with the cops.