Who should Stan hire as an assistant?

[King-Tusk]

Please, for the love of God, do not take this thread seriously, but who should Stan Heath hire for an assistant coach.  We all know he has improved each year, but who could really help him turn the corner on this program?

I would say Patches O'Houlihan: he could teach our guys how to pecker slap the competition.

Feel free to have fun with this one.

WPS   :razorback:

[The_Bionic_Pig]

You may be closer than you think with the (Ball St & Ronny Thompson) rumors floating around.

[fineswine]

How about himself?  We could hire a new HC and demote Stan to assistant.

[Queen-Tusk]

How about Trey Parker and Matt Stone from South Park?  They did great in BASEketball.

[pignatious]

I here Nolan Richardson is available.

[silvertip]

Tony Soprano

[Porquemada]

I'd have to say John Wooden or James Naismith.

[VoR]

how bout Bill Walton, least it would get him off the tube.

[Queen-Tusk]

Tony Soprano

  +1

If only he wasn't in a coma right now......

[fineswine]

The Bill Walton thing, actually it would be great if he were to be an assistant coach for someone.  The guy really KNOWS how a big man should play the game.  Additionally, it would be nice to get him off of t.v.

[pioneerhog]

I here Nolan Richardson is available.

That is what I was going to say. At least he could teach the players how to use a full court press.

[Broken Trigger]

How about Doc Rivers?

[MakeMeOink]

JOHN MCDONALD

[pigture perfect]

Pat Bradley would be nice. He could teach someone how to drain a three maybe?

[afhogfan1980]

3 words "steve nash dvd" for every coach player on the team maybe even richard simmons for a personal trainer he could get heaths and the players legs pumping

[Hog1751]

How bout Dickey Nutt were not quite close enough to the edge for my taste. I like danger brotha. I want mediocricy every year. Uhm taste that sweet sweet mediokra.

[Broken Trigger]

This guy here.  His name is Greg Lewis, massage therapist..........

He'll help keep the players' legs fresh. 

[Queen-Tusk]

This guy here.  His name is Greg Lewis, massage therapist..........

He'll help keep the players' legs fresh. 

Nice one. +1 I can't wait until my grandkids ask me "where did fresh legs come from."  I have a feeling we'll still be on it then.  Oh yeah, did I mention that my daughter is only 13 months old.  That is how classic fresh legs will become.

[Broken Trigger]

Thanks, Miss Piggy.  You may be right about that.  We may be laughing about that for years to come.  Hopefully we'll have moved passed that in our program though, the making excuse phase that is. 

[Calling All Hogs]

Jack Bauer from CTU. If Heath got in the way of getting the job done Jack would
take him out. His daughter could come be a cheerleader.

[hogman64]

How about Susie Gardner.............then we could get one big fishing net , sneak up behind them on the bench , throw it over them and swoop them out of the arena , never to be heard from again...........

[Richard_white]

John Edwards

Atleast he could see the game before the game

[freedomcounty]

Demote Heath, and hire Dave Van Horn as Head Basketball coach.

[Tom T. Hog]

I say Buster Campbell,  He was a basketball coach in N.E.A who got in a brawl with a former board member at a public meeting.  Should be able to add a little fire to the staff.

[hogtheball]

I think he should hire Kareem - They would look cool on the bench together, and Kareem could teach Townes and Hill how to shoot hook shots.  I was kidding at first, but now it seems like a good idea. Isn't kareem wanting to coach?

[jforte]

already more coaches on the bench than players

[lumphog]

Joe Klien.......He could turn Steven Hill into FRANKENSTUFF.

[FLKeysGuy]

Joe Klien.......He could turn Steven Hill into FRANKENSTUFF.

"FRANKENSTUFF"!!! 
+1

[spurrr]

His wife!!! All calls will go our way! refs to scxared of her to challenge her>

[HoopS]

you're looking at him.