Regular Season Jump Ball Awards

[Breems]

I know we have games left to play, but I've finally gotten a break from studying/homework crap and wanted to put this together while I had the chance.

Let me start by saying that I'm extremely proud of each and every one of you. A lot of great individuals have passed through Jump Ball in the past several years, but I believe the talent level across the board this year is unprecedented. If you weren't chosen for an award, you either sucked really bad, didn't post a lot, or I ran out of ideas.

Most Valuable Poster: Breems. In an effort to circumvent nepotism, I chose myself for this award and then researched whether I deserved it. Averaging a staggering 7 posts per day (almost entirely in Jump Ball), Breems exemplifies neutrality, humor, and articulation.

Post of the Year: Hogimus Prime

I hate Vandy's court as much as I hate Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka.  IMO that court was designed by that lazy old man.

Posts come in many sizes and shapes. They have the power to induce laughter, evoke emotional responses, stir pots, and just plain confuse everyone. Hogimus Prime did none of those things. He took a topic completely out of left field and created an unorthodox relation to a completely unrelated idea. I'm still unable to muster any logical explanation for Grandpa Joe being a potential candidate for architect of the Vandy court. Genius. Just pure genius.

Most Likely to Succeed: ErieHog. Erie provides good basketball chat, but his analysis is secondary to his quirky, Euro-style grammar (what's up with the inconsistent amount of spaces between sentences?). He's levelheaded, has one of the highest post counts on Hogville, and is no doubt more intelligent than 95% of the board. The only question with Erie is how long he can continue to overcome his age. I have no idea how old he is, but you can tell his grudge against Eddie Sutton is sincere (not all Hog fans can say that).

Issuer of Rock-Kicking: FCJ. The fight has simply been drained from the haters in conference play. Stick a fork in 'em. Joe is here to stay.

Ray Biggers Award: Modsquad24/HawgAdvocate/Breems. I considered many posters for this award and thus resorted to multiple trophies. Modsquad24 receives credit for initiating the thread. HawgAdvocate was the first to introduce the 10-12 figure, and Breems was the first to recognize the potential for sarcasm and the next "I just Steven Hill."

.GIF Utilization Award: HawgAdvocate. There's little to say about this one. HawgAdvocate's dependence upon the use of .GIFs (images) has finally paid off. Congratulations, bud.

Middle-Grounder: BBstheMan. BBstheMan is one of the few posters this year that remained truly neutral throughout the team's struggles and triumphs. It's my strong belief that he could remain balanced on the fence longer than Mr. Miyagi. BeoPig and Atlhogfan1 were strong runner-ups.

Freshman of the Year: Atlhog1. This probably reflects poorly on how well I've paid attention over the past few years. I have no idea how long Atlhogfan1 has been with us. What I do know is that I don't remember seeing him much during previous seasons, and he has made solid contributions this year with facts and stuff.

Numbers Nerd: Adam Stokes. Well done, Adam! This guy consistently tracks the nerdy stuff like RPIs, BPIs, and bracketology so that we don't have to. Looking forward to a big postseason from you.

Best Username: -Blu. -Blu, how long have you been here? I nearly gave you the newcomer of the year award. Anyway, I have no idea why this name starts with a hyphen, but it frequently catches my eye.

Lack of Punctuation: Kevin. I'm not sure I've ever seen a punctuation mark used by Kevin. I'm frequently unable to determine whether he's excitedly proclaiming something or asking a question. Keep up the good work, Uncle Kevin!

Best Preseason Predictions: cityhog. He'll probably be correct when all is said and done. Good call. I was right there with you.

Most System Talk: hogsanity. Hogsanity has exhausted many this season with his incessant discussion of specific components of our system. Still, you earned yourself an award after all.

Father Figure: WilsonHog. Wilson frequently keeps a watchful eye over us with sporadic appearances now and then. He is an authoritative voice and isn't afraid to lay down the ban hammer at any given time. Porked Tongue wins runner-up here.

Houdini Award: Smithian. Fairly active in 2013, but his production has really trainwrecked lately. Where ya at?

Best Comeback: Hawg Red. I'm not sure what happened to force a resignation of his previous title, but he has reestablished his identity here and is once again part of the common rabble.

Hashtagger: Rooster Hogburn. A great friend and even better hashtagger. If we have a dude in tune with social media, it's this guy.

Man, that took freaking forever. Huge waste of time. Anyway, any format will be accepted for acceptance speeches. TheBionicPig, The_Iceman, Danny J, and thirtythree would have won something if I hadn't gotten bored.

[Modsquad24]

Thank ya Breems for the award, just wondered why Ray Biggers didnt get more clock lol. I would come up with a long acceptance speech, but it would take me 10-12 minutes, anyways go hogs and here is to us finishing this season strong! GHG

[thirtythree]

nicely done my brother.

[Johnboy]

If I could give an award to Breems it would have to be Best Sarcasm.  There have been many times that I will read a thread and stumble upon one of your hidden gems.  Cracks me up every time.  +1

For instance... this is my favorite thing in your awards post. 

Man, that took freaking forever. Huge waste of time.

[Jackrabbit Hog]

Worst Story about a Brush with CMA:  Breems  Hands down, by acclamation.

[Breems]

Worst Story about a Brush with CMA:  Breems  Hands down, by acclamation.

Downright excellent memory. That thing was rightfully trashed. I thought I did great, though.

[Wild Bill Hog]

I guess if you give out the awards based on the vote of a committee of one, you can give yourself the MVP.  I don't have a problem with it - seriously I don't.  All that to say, woe be unto ye when OTR gets wind of this.  The Grand Alliance will descend upon you with the gusto of a hungry hound dog.

[ErieHog]

Much like a Razorback rotation,  I get shut out for an extended period.

Thanks, Breems!

[Breems]

Much like a Razorback rotation,  I get shut out for an extended period.

Thanks, Breems!

I meant to include you. I really did. You were saved in the draft, but I meant to cut and paste you elsewhere (forgot the paste part).

I added your award (3rd listing).

[ErieHog]

I meant to include you. I really did. You were saved in the draft, but I meant to cut and paste you elsewhere (forgot the paste part).

I added your award (3rd listing).

Now we understand how you were so able to quickly attach yourself firmly to MA's backside.

I kid, I kid.  If we can't make fun of each other and ourselves after a brutal year like this, when can we?

FWIW,  I have gone to basketball games to boo Eddie Sutton-- no other reason, just to boo Eddie.

[Screwdriver]

I would agree from all the lurking I've done here before I ever posted except for fcj. That dude makes little to no sense and reminds me of my incoherent grandfather.

[umpqua]

If there's a Johnny Come Lately to the Ray Biggers Award, I nominate myself. I admit that it took me a while to find the value of the thread but I've been a consistent stalwart as of late. I take the weekends off but you should give me credit for at least one post Monday through Friday for the last two months.

10-12.

[Nipsey Mussle]

I humbly accept my award and glad for Atl to see that I'm the better man. 

Like Lebron, I will strive to somehow get better everyday and #Ipromise to win the MVP (henceforth simply known as The Breems) next year!

I think Hawg Red deserves newcomer of the year. He's like the veteran Euro player who finally makes it to the league but gets shunned by the committee b/c of his experience.

[Overtheroadtruckdriver]

I guess if you give out the awards based on the vote of a committee of one, you can give yourself the MVP.  I don't have a problem with it - seriously I don't.  All that to say, woe be unto ye when OTR gets wind of this.  The Grand Alliance will descend upon you with the gusto of a hungry hound dog.

I got wind of it. 

I told breemso several years ago that he'd never make it (I meant he'd never make it in the tavern and I hit the nail on the head - he didn't make it there). 

The thing that may surprise people is that I like breemso.  He knows his limitations, plays to his own strengths.  Nothing wrong with that.  He's a one trick pony.  His mike anderson joke thread gets my vote for thread of the year. 

Nice job on the rewards in this thread, breemso.

[Breems]

If there's a Johnny Come Lately to the Ray Biggers Award, I nominate myself. I admit that it took me a while to find the value of the thread but I've been a consistent stalwart as of late. I take the weekends off but you should give me credit for at least one post Monday through Friday for the last two months.

10-12.

You're one of the many I considered adding (as well as twistitup), but I had to go with those who spearheaded the campaign. Not many have sacrificed their avatar, though. The best I can give you is honorable mention.

I humbly accept my award and glad for Atl to see that I'm the better man. 

Like Lebron, I will strive to somehow get better everyday and #Ipromise to win the MVP (henceforth simply known as The Breems) next year!

I think Hawg Red deserves newcomer of the year. He's like the veteran Euro player who finally makes it to the league but gets shunned by the committee b/c of his experience.

The first acceptance speech! Already showing initiative. Hawg Red can't be Newcomer of the Year due to his muddy past. He received an appropriate award.

I got wind of it. 

I told breemso several years ago that he'd never make it (I meant he'd never make it in the tavern and I hit the nail on the head - he didn't make it there). 

The thing that may surprise people is that I like breemso.  He knows his limitations, plays to his own strengths.  Nothing wrong with that.  He's a one trick pony.  His mike anderson joke thread gets my vote for thread of the year. 

Nice job on the rewards in this thread, breemso.

Thanks for the kind words. You were right. I didn't make it in the Tavern and returned to my cocoon. I would have given you an award, but it would ruin your association with the Tavern. 

[umpqua]

I'm giving you 10-12 applauds for that. I'm so proud........

Ray Biggers.

[Overtheroadtruckdriver]

Ain't looking for rewards.  Odell is the one that basks in the glory of his many rewards. 

I guess if anyone besides Odell deserves a reward it's my gambling dog buddy Sanchez.  He's been going to the bank this season betting on and against the hogs. 

[Wild Bill Hog]

I'm giving you 10-12 applauds for that. I'm so proud........

Ray Biggers.

Outstanding.  +1

[porkinsons disease]

I would agree from all the lurking I've done here before I ever posted except for fcj. That dude makes little to no sense and reminds me of my incoherent grandfather.

Haha...be careful. +1

[rzrbackramsfan]

I'm actually kind of a big deal in mmqb, so..

[Nipsey Mussle]

I would agree from all the lurking I've done here before I ever posted except for fcj. That dude makes little to no sense and reminds me of my incoherent grandfather.

Wait for it....wait for it....... Your pissed off and I like it! Your boy Pel is gone, deal with it. Go kicks rocks hater!

[Danny J]

I'm actually kind of a big deal in mmqb, so..

Now thats funny

[porkinsons disease]

 

Wait for it....wait for it....... Your pissed off and I like it! Your boy Pel is gone, deal with it. Go kicks rocks hater!

Quoted perfectly

[Screwdriver]

Wait for it....wait for it....... Your pissed off and I like it! Your boy Pel is gone, deal with it. Go kicks rocks hater!

[rzrbackramsfan]

Now thats funny

Thanks man that's kind of an award on the award thread.  I'll take it. Let me reciprocate, guy that's quoted me the most, you seen familiar.

[Birminghog]

Well met, Breems. +1 for the Mr. Miyagi/fence reference. No doubt it took a lot of time to craft all of this. I would have suspected that you would limit the number of awards to 10-12; perhaps in the future you will extend them to 2(10-12). Most egregious omission? The excellent analysis of SeattleHog.

Perhaps Kevin is a specialist in ancient languages, particularly Greek & Hebrew, thus his aversion to punctuation. Question - what is erie's strange penchant for booing, especially our own?  Did he grow up in Brooklyn or Philly?

Always look forward to your wit & wisdom.

[ErieHog]

Well met, Breems. +1 for the Mr. Miyagi/fence reference. No doubt it took a lot of time to craft all of this. I would have suspected that you would limit the number of awards to 10-12; perhaps in the future you will extend them to 2(10-12). Most egregious omission? The excellent analysis of SeattleHog.

Perhaps Kevin is a specialist in ancient languages, particularly Greek & Hebrew, thus his aversion to punctuation. Question - what is erie's strange penchant for booing, especially our own?  Did he grow up in Brooklyn or Philly?

Always look forward to your wit & wisdom.

Eddie is a traitor.  Nothing more, nothing less.  He abandoned our program for the natural rival;  as the old song says, a train doesn't run on a torn up track.

I'll never, ever, ever forgive him.

[Breems]

Most egregious omission? The excellent analysis of SeattleHog.

Fair point. As stated in the OP, those who didn't receive awards probably don't post enough. His threads often come after home games which frequently limit him to 1 post per week. I just forgot about him.

Great response, though. You'll definitely be in the running next year. You might have nailed the reasoning behind Kevin's odd grammatical state.

Eddie is a traitor.  Nothing more, nothing less.  He abandoned our program for the natural rival;  as the old song says, a train doesn't run on a torn up track.

I'll never, ever, ever forgive him.

This is the Erie we know and love. Wish I could've seen him show up to a game to boo Eddie.

[thirtythree]

I thought I could have gotten the Houdini award as I don't normally stick around for the off season, but usually am here for the season.

At any rate, Smithian is a worthy recipient.

Breems always does a great job.

[Breems]

I thought I could have gotten the Houdini award as I don't normally stick around for the off season, but usually am here for the season.

At any rate, Smithian is a worthy recipient.

Breems always does a great job.

Your unpredictableness is more unpredictable.

HawgAdvocate was also considered. Where has that guy been?

[Breems]

F.U Breems

If anything, you would've gotten the reverse Smithian award. I don't think we saw you until the later part of the season.

[Karma]

This thread is like Bazzell awarding himself the Broyles Award and the Golden Boot.

[Nipsey Mussle]

Your unpredictableness is more unpredictable.

HawgAdvocate was also considered. Where has that guy been?

Will we see him tonight?

[Mr. Porkleone]

Put me on the All name team

[The_Iceman]

HawgAdvocate was also considered. Where has that guy been?

We've been winning....

Also, thanks for the honorable mention.

[HawgAdvocate]

Your unpredictableness is more unpredictable.

HawgAdvocate was also considered. Where has that guy been?

Wayne suspended me because I quoted FCJ in my sig line (for months now) and wouldn't remove it without being given a good reason.

That being said, expect me to be scarce moving forward. Jump Ball isn't much fun anymore.

[Breems]

Jump Ball isn't much fun anymore.

5 of the last 6 wearing down on you?

I should have given you the Most Suspsensions award. Are you sure you weren't an Arkansas Razorback basketball player that played from 2007-2011?

[Razorbacks#1]

There are some gems in this thread.

[Breems]

There are some gems in this thread.

Honorable mention to you for game thread updates. Hopefully we can turn that into an award next year.

[Razorbacks#1]

Honorable mention to you for game thread updates. Hopefully we can turn that into an award next year.

Just trying to keep those deployed overseas, those at work etc something go back and see how the game played out. Enjoy doing it for my fellow hog fans. Go Hogs!

[Kevin]

I cannot make the awards ceremony so thanks to all that voted for me

Yes, I left out all punctuation

[Nipsey Mussle]

Wayne suspended me because I quoted FCJ in my sig line (for months now) and wouldn't remove it without being given a good reason.

That being said, expect me to be scarce moving forward. Jump Ball isn't much fun anymore.

What? That's beyond ridiculous in my opinion. Hopefully porkeroinker and scruf aren't his boys or he'll suspend me for mine.

[-Blu]

Thanks for the award Breems! I always enjoy your posts.