Stand back, U of A, and let the experts handle this

[OneLardAlmighty]

From the particular genius of hawginj, and with the support of the many people who brought your Aporkalypse Now, The Other White Meat, Pork n Mindy, Opine On Swine, Too Much Pork for Just one Fork, Praise the Lard, Niels Boar, What'sShakin'Bacon, License to Squeal, The Great Stadium Debate, The Dark Side, The Pig Screen TV, and many, many, more memes of Arkansas and internet lore, we give you...

The Pork Chopper. 

You know it's perfect.