Allen-Jackson: A mother's perspective on big-time recruiting

[jbcarol]

After months of driving up and down the highways of the South, my son, Bryson Allen-Williams, finally decided that he was ready to make his college decision.

Nervously, I asked him repeatedly, "Are you sure?" or "Are you really, ready?" -- and my favorite, "Are you really, really, really, ready?" He assured me that he was. Bryson said that he was at peace with his decision and was ready to go public with it.

He sent University of South Carolina defensive coordinator Lorenzo Ward a text message and told him that he was ready to verbally commit. Bryson sent me a text message that his phone was about to die and he had to go to baseball practice. Bryson wanted me to follow up with Coach Ward via phone and then it would be done. I did follow up with Coach Ward, making sure that he knew that Bryson was ready and was going public, as I didn't want him to be blindsided.  We notified a few reporters that Bryson had made his college decision, and Bryson went off to baseball practice. It was typical Bryson, though: A big announcement made, he disappears completely unaffected.

The morning began with Bryson getting a "wake up call" from Steve Spurrier.  He basically told Bryson that he was the only linebacker that South Carolina was planning to take for 2014, and that they'd really like for him to be a part of the program. For Bryson, that was enough. He'd been to all of the supposed "bigger" schools; we'd even flown to the West Coast to visit USC and UCLA. Bryson was finally ready, so he committed.

Coming home that evening after committing, Bryson was almost giddy. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  We thought that it was over, but we were wrong.  We'd always been prepared for negative backlash, but the venom in which Bryson and I were attacked following his South Carolina announcement was appalling and heartbreaking.

The same young man who two weeks ago, was being lauded for having great character, humility, and manners, had just become an egotistical, arrogant, and trash-talking jerk.  As his mother, it really hurt to read all of the negativity that was being thrown about. Of course, I replied to as many negative comments as I could.

I was accused of impersonating his mother (who wants to take on backlash purposely?) and just liking the recruiting process so I could be flattered by coaches. My personal favorite was when a message board post said "This is why Mom's shouldn't be involved." The more I replied, the worse the comments became.

I'd been warned by several reporters (Rivals, 247 Sports, ESPN and AJC) that the Internet can be a scary and negative place during recruiting. I "poo-pawed" them, and said I could handle it. One fan base went as far as to say the night before Bryson committed that I was calling recruits, which was so far from the truth. I was at my parents' house for dinner, and surprisingly, we weren't even talking about football that evening.

Bryson has been called overrated and accused of being scared of competition. One person suggested a move to South Carolina since that's where he committed. The same person basically told that he was trash talking, good for nothing, and would be humbled soon. I've still been lurking on the message boards, so I saw all of the comments as did Bryson and my younger son, who is a 2016 recruit. I've cancelled all of my memberships to the team websites of the schools where Bryson decided not to attend just because I don't need to see the nastiness that some fan bases throw out.

My family and I have worked really hard to make sure that Bryson is a kind, humble, and good-natured kid. He isn't spoiled, coddled, or overhyped.  We never wanted him to be known as a "bad guy". I thought I was managing his image, his "brand." While it doesn't feel good to read these things about your kid, it opened my eyes to see how serious SEC football really is, and how passionate people are about the program that they follow. Bryson is an athlete, and does talk a little trash on the field. But off the field, he's a good guy.

My advice to other recruits and their parents:

1.Ignorance is bliss...

http://www.ajc.com/weblogs/college-recruiting/2013/apr/28/mothers-perspective-big-time-recruiting/

[CalicoHawgFan]

I hate it for them.  It's terrible.

[The_Iceman]

Lesson for Hogville....watch what you say about recruits.

[Hey Super]

Lesson for Hogville....watch what you say about recruits.

[The_Boot_stops_here]

kid is a stud...it was always pretty clear he was a usc-E lean though

[Wildhog]

I think it's more a lesson for mothers.

[Choctaw Hog]

Lesson for Hogville....watch what you say about recruits.

I think a better lesson is for sites who allow such garbage. Given the propensity for people to sue over anything and the ease in which to track where posts originate, I can easily see litigation will arise out of such nonsense.

[Hawgon]

She sounds like a mother who was eating up all the attention and loving it for all it was worth while it was positive, and who is now suddenly here to lecture us about it when it turned negative.

[99toLife]

She sounds like a mother who was eating up all the attention and loving it for all it was worth while it was positive, and who is now suddenly here to lecture us about it when it turned negative.

She was just naive on how message boards and the internet can turn on anyone at anytime for any reason. 

[Inhogswetrust]

She sounds like a mother who was eating up all the attention and loving it for all it was worth while it was positive, and who is now suddenly here to lecture us about it when it turned negative.

I'm not sure I would go that far but it was interesting she said she was managing his image or his brand. Why would his image or brand need managing?

[HG]

I'm not sure I would go that far but it was interesting she said she was managing his image or his brand. Why would his image or brand need managing?

Awful choice of words on her part.  I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant that she felt responsible for protecting her kid from public perceptions, but it comes across as 1) prepping him for an NFL career that'll make her rich; and 2) being more worried about his PR than him.  She should have just said "I thought I was protecting him from the attacks, but..." instead of using language that comes across as a little mercenary when talking about a kid who hasn't even played a down in college.

[oldhawg]

She deserves everything she got ------- her son didn't sign with Arkansas, did he! 

[kingofdequeen]

Dude's gotta be old.

when did Chatahoochie come out?

[jbcarol]

They've learned a lot about livin' ... a little 'bout love

[Inhogswetrust]

Awful choice of words on her part.  I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant that she felt responsible for protecting her kid from public perceptions, but it comes across as 1) prepping him for an NFL career that'll make her rich; and 2) being more worried about his PR than him.  She should have just said "I thought I was protecting him from the attacks, but..." instead of using language that comes across as a little mercenary when talking about a kid who hasn't even played a down in college.

Agreed.

[jbcarol]

AUBURN, Ala. -- There were times when Reuben Foster wanted to lash out, to speak up and try to set the record straight.

"They're talking like I'm a thug," he said, "and they don't even know me."

The same people who wished him luck one minute wished him harm the next.

"They told me, 'I hope you tear your ACL,' " Foster said. "It's crazy how people think and what they'd wish upon you."

"As soon as I signed the [letter of intent], it all broke loose," he said. "I didn't want to come out of the house. I didn't want to do anything."

From his mother's couch in Auburn, he's eager to send a message to those who don't understand what he went through or what he was trying to do when he made his decision about college. And rather than telling them to just get over it already, he feels the need to apologize.

"I didn't mean for all this to happen," he said. "I'm sorry to the Auburn fans, to the Georgia fans who I got their hopes up. I tried to make everyone happy. I hope they forgive me. To the Alabama fans, I'm going to try my best to come in and please all of them."

[jbcarol]

Bryson Allen-Wms ‏@WatchOut4_11 1h
Fell out of rivals 250 .... I let my play speak and it clearly shows I'm supposed to be in the top 150

[jbcarol]

Bryson Allen-Wms ‏@WatchOut4_11 17h
No matter how much me and @sportsmommy74 argue I know she got my back ... Even though she mean

Darnisha ‏@sportsmommy74 16h @WatchOut4_11 not mean, I'm still your Mom... But I love you too. Even though you're a brat! ❤

Darnisha ‏@sportsmommy74 16h People say disrespectful things and don't expect to get a reaction? Hmmm, k!

[jbcarol]

Allen-Jackson not pleased when rival fan creates one of those fake twitter accounts taking pot shots at her son.

Bryson and his friends – (fellow Georgia recruits) Deshaun Watson, Demarre Kitt, Milan Richard and Andrew Williams -- were doing what they normally do, play on Twitter. Deshaun, Demarre and Milan are all Clemson commits, and Bryson is a SC commit. Andrew is still open, so all of the guys are trying to convince Andrew why their schools are the best.

Some overzealous fan created a fake Twitter account as Bryson. Initially, we thought it was kind of comical. I mean, he's 16 years old, hasn't played a down of football in the NCAA and this person is extremely upset, because Bryson is telling Andrew why he should consider the No. 9 defense versus the No. 63 defense.

As the day went on the person who created the account, got nastier and nastier, saying things that bordered on homophobic and just plain crazy things. I got a little angry because I felt like he was threatening Bryson. I exchanged some barbs and zingers with the person. It's my job to protect my kid. Again, he's 16 years old. He wasn't being nasty or rude on Twitter, so why should he have to accept someone being nasty and rude to him?
   
I think the person singled Bryson out because he has been very vocal about where he's committed. When Bryson saw the fake account, he laughed and said "Well, I better get used to it."  He tried to reason with the person, but he realized it was futile. A lot of Bryson's Twitter followers and my Twitter followers reported the account to Twitter administration because it was quite offensive and rude. Things like this have a way of growing and taking on a life of their own.

A lot of people were appalled that a person would create this account about a 16-year-old kid. I mean it's not like he's LeBron James or anything...

[jbcarol]

As Jimmy Sexton kept telling Tim Tebow as he sweated out the NFL draft, "It just takes one."

On the flip side, as the late bandleader Welk might say, "a-one does not always represent a-whole and a-vice versa."

If you are big feelin' momma, you might consider disconnecting from the social media frenzy.

It just takes one.

[jbcarol]

Think of the odds of the number of people who think they are really striking a blow for ol' State U. and it just takes one to ruin your day.

[jbcarol]

Stop telling me Eddie Vanderdoes is a liar, Notre Dame fans. Stop attacking the kid, telling me he's a schemer and you know his scheme. He's a liar, and you know his lie. He didn't get the promise he wanted from Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly, and you know the promise.

Stop telling me all that, Notre Dame fans, because I know where your "information" came from. It came from a message board somewhere, from someone who carries himself as an insider with all kinds of access to the secrets of Notre Dame football.

Don't bring me that crap and expect me to be impressed, Notre Dame fans...

Because you people -- and I'm talking specifically to you people, not to all Notre Dame fans; all fan bases have a lunatic fringe, and it's unfair to paint everyone with that crazy brush -- really believe you have insight into Eddie Vanderdoes.

You're convinced he's a liar. You're convinced this football recruit, this five-star defensive lineman who signed with Notre Dame in February but now wants to play for UCLA -- this 18-year-old kid -- concocted a sick relative to justify his decision to stay in his home state, with his home weather, instead of traveling 2,000 miles to play in the cold of South Bend, Ind.

You're convinced you're right, because someone on a message board said so. It would be hysterical, if it weren't so awful.

Manti Te'o got the benefit of the doubt from you people, and why?

http://www.cbssports.com/general/blog/gregg-doyel/22380661/how-do-you-know-eddie-vanderoes-is-a-liar-notre-dame-fans

Bruce Feldman ‏@BFeldmanCBS 8 Jun
Am told a relative being diagnosed w/ a severe illness in March will factor into 5-star DT Eddie Vanderdoes' appeal process. #UCLA

[jbcarol]

Niebuhr247 Keith Niebuhr 2h
#Gamecocks LB commit Bryson Allen-Williams at DeKalb County media day. pic.twitter.com/Iv1mpfXTdw

[jbcarol]

Michael Carvell ‏@RecruitingAJC 8 mins
#UGA coach out in snow talking to SC LB commit Bryson Allen-Williams --> RT @B_Quatro4 Coach Richt just left

[Bebop]

She sounds like a mother who was eating up all the attention and loving it for all it was worth while it was positive, and who is now suddenly here to lecture us about it when it turned negative.

True, but some fans can be horrible.

I will say that the commits that want a lot attention need to realize that they will get both good and bad attention. Best thing to do is avoid the attention. Schools will find out if they are good or not.

[jbcarol]

Bryson Allen-Williams, LB, 6-1, 215, Cedar Grove (committed to South Carolina): Despite official visits to Alabama and UGA over the last two weeks, many in the recruiting industry (including myself) think Allen-Williams is a "lock" to stick with the Gamecocks. However, Bryson threw a major curveball when, while wrapping up his trip to UGA, he tweeted out "Off Twitter til Wednesday .. Need some time to think" – which sent South Carolina message boards into panic...

http://recruiting.blog.ajc.com/2014/02/02/recap-of-ugas-final-recruiting-weekend

Allen-Williams' mother, Darnisha Allen-Jackson, issued this  statement two weeks ago:

"Do not make this visit to Georgia something that is more than it is. Bryson is as solid as he can be to South Carolina. It is a free trip on Georgia's dime. It is a free trip on Alabama's dime. And as two coaches told me recently, you've got to understand if he has the opportunity to do well in the SEC, and he makes it to the next level, you never know who you're going to run into, and he could run into one of these guys who may be a professional coach, and they'll be like, 'oh, this kid spurned me, this kid acted like a diva, or a prima donna with me.'

"However, I will say this, if he decides to take the Georgia visit, don't take that to mean that he's flipping to Georgia. This is not a Brendan Langley situation. I've just got to put that out there. This is not a Brendan Langley, this is not a Matt Rolin, it's not all these other names that have been thrown out. Bryson is as solid as he can be to South Carolina."

http://www.gogamecocks.com/2014/01/19/522306/solid-to-south-carolina-bryson.html

[jbcarol]

Chris Winston ‏@ChrisatTheState  22m
Video: Bryson Allen-Williams talks about his plans to join @UofSC with @gogamecocks: http://www.gogamecocks.com/2014/02/05/533198/video-bryson-allen-williams-talks.html ...

[jbcarol]

Gamecock Football ‏@GamecockFB  5m
Welcome to the family - Bryson Allen-Williams is officially a GAMECOCK! #SCsigningday #Gamecocks pic.twitter.com/1NezQ4kWTq

[jbcarol]

https://twitter.com/Michael_Carvell/status/893181009965060096

Looking for something in addition to drama