NEWSFLASH: BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II -- US RANKED 4th

[nwa_razorback_coffee]

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work — including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule — our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated, "The US only had two major victories — Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests — they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolph Hitler said, "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested: "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."


The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented "France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

[kimjongsqUeAl]

nm

[Dr Swineglove]

Brilliant!  Too funny.

[TrojanHog]

I disagree, the United States were playing a better at the end and we won the Head to Head.  Sure Germany started out very strong, but they were raking up victories against cupcakes.  France? Poland? BELGIUM? Come on...

They wouldn't even travel to England to take them on at their home field.  Weak!

Then they made a huge scheduling mistake by going to Russia in the winter, sure the "Northern" teams can't compete against the speed of a southern team on a dry, moderate field, but in the snow and wind, they can be pretty formidable. 


Either way, I think the computers putting Germany ahead is pure nonsense.

[malibu327]

and this is y i hate the bcs

Either way, I think the computers putting Germany ahead is pure nonsense.

[AngryKhalil]

Nice, this is the kind of humor I enjoy stumbling over after fighting through threads and threads of terrible, recycled HDN jokes.

[nwa_razorback_coffee]

They wouldn't even travel to England to take them on at their home field.  Weak!

The Germans did try the air game and had some success at first, but the English defence (sp.mine) intercepted the German air attack and that made the difference on the final drive.

[clew]

The US is ranked fifth in the "Axis & Allies" computer, anyway. Just behind Japan. We all know that poll is bogus though because they have Russia ranked #1.

[Steef]

The BCS' findings have come under recent scrutiny.

Someone finally pointed out Strength of Schedule. All of Germany's early victories were against inferior teams. Even France' loss to Germany has been redacted, due to France' consistent losses, including once to itself.

Germany's only strong early opponent was England, and Germany did not in fact defeat England.

Style points were also removed from Germany's final results...for stupidity in trying to play two games at once.

[TrumannRazorback24]

Haha that's great.

[Maverick Razorback]

LOL..Topic of the year..great stuff. Brilliant writing.

[PolishPigPower]

Everyone here is missing the point.  The Germans DESERVE the top spot!  They played the toughest schedule in consecutive weeks.  Heck, they were playing the Russians and the Americans with a split squad at the same time!!!  Is that not deserving?

While I agree that the victory over Poland was quite lopsided, and the Czechoslovakian forfeit should not have been given any weight at all, their wins over Belgium and France were total routs.  It's amazing that the only loss the Germans had was when they played against the US, Great Britain, & Russia simultaneously on their home turf.

Their road record was outstanding, and they invaded took on all comers.  Anyone with a doctorate in Statistics and Astrophysics knows that.

HEIL!

[Steef]

BCS Hall of Fame...

Alexander the Great - Undefeated in regular season play.
Attilla the Hun - Redefined style points.
Pol Pot - The ultimate 'field' general.

Rasputin - Founder of the SEC officiating school.

[samurai]

I thought Hellen Keller was the founder of the SEC officiating school

[Steef]

I thought Hellen Keller was the founder of the SEC officiating school

Nope.

Common mistake.

She was the innovator of the instant-replay review, which gets all the publicity.

Rasputin was first to go to the NCAA/BCS folks with a plan to implement his system of fair play.

[Hawgrox]

You know who is getting screwed here?!?!? ITALY!!! That's who!!!!!!!! They beat Ethiopia by a substantial amount...They are in the Axis Conference...the toughest conference in the European Theater...They were picked #2 AHEAD of #3 Japan in the preseason polls and have not lost. "El Duce" is one of the top offensive minds in the game. They will probably end up in the "Ragu Sauce Mediterranean Bowl" against a Pacific Theater team...probably Samoa....the winner of the Polynesian Conference. Samoa should not be there in light of their weak conference schedule against the likes of perennial doormats Bornea and Easter Island.

Italy got screwed man....

[nwa_razorback_coffee]

You know who is getting screwed here?!?!? ITALY!!! That's who!!!!!!!! They beat Ethiopia by a substantial amount...They are in the Axis Conference...the toughest conference in the European Theater...They were picked #2 AHEAD of #3 Japan in the preseason polls and have not lost. "El Duce" is one of the top offensive minds in the game. They will probably end up in the "Ragu Sauce Mediterranean Bowl" against a Pacific Theater team...probably Samoa....the winner of the Polynesian Conference. Samoa should not be there in light of their weak conference schedule against the likes of perennial doormats Bornea and Easter Island.

Italy got screwed man....

Sorry, I forgot to write Italy in. Let's see what happens tomorrow in Kansas and there is a possibility Mizzou will enter our discussion.

I just coached 5 girls basketball games in the past 30 hrs. I need to rest my brain.

[Table Rocker]

Did u come up with that? If so you need to send that to a good sports blog like deadspin to post, that's funny stuff

[OklaU]

Sorry, I forgot to write Italy in. Let's see what happens tomorrow in Kansas and there is a possibility Mizzou will enter our discussion.

I just coached 5 girls basketball games in the past 30 hrs. I need to rest my brain.

Your not seriously taking credit for this?  You didn't even come up with this.  Google it.

[Mitch C]

I wonder if the BCS would consider me a stud?

[Hawgrox]

Your not seriously taking credit for this?  You didn't even come up with this.  Google it.

So what if he did...the responses are pretty funny in themselves....

[Hawgrox]

So what if he did...the responses are pretty funny in themselves....

...and I really don't think he was taking credit for it....just expounding on it....

[RazorBassin]

This is classic!  I think you have to factor in China.  They have the dept to take it all the way and are rivals to the #3 team Japan.  They still have their rivalry game this week and with a loss by France they could sneak into the picture. 

[nwa_razorback_coffee]

Your not seriously taking credit for this?  You didn't even come up with this.  Google it.

Relax okie, this has been emailed around for days. I was referring to my earlier response to Trojanhog (scroll).

If that's the only retort you have, the satire must be hitting a sore spot with you.

[OklaU]

Relax okie, this has been emailed around for days. I was referring to my earlier response to Trojanhog (scroll).

If that's the only retort you have, the satire must be hitting a sore spot with you.

How could it be a sore spot, I'm for a playoff.  You see a lot of posters taking credit for things that aren't theirs.  Not to mention a tune of people who jump the gun on posts (which happens way too much)

[Steef]

This is classic!  I think you have to factor in China.  They have the dept to take it all the way and are rivals to the #3 team Japan.  They still have their rivalry game this week and with a loss by France they could sneak into the picture. 

So...

Do we let Australia into a BCS bowl? They aren't D1, but they've played their hearts out during the entire season.

[Hawgrox]

This is classic!  I think you have to factor in China.  They have the dept to take it all the way and are rivals to the #3 team Japan.  They still have their rivalry game this week and with a loss by France they could sneak into the picture. 

You can't measure a team in a rivalry game! You know that! China has beaten Japan in 9 of the last 11 Rice Bowls even thought Japan was favored in HALF of them! China is LIVING off the East Indonesian recruiting base and once Japan taps into that China may have to go into Polynesia for recruits. It's always risky going up against the Phillipines for a 4-Star Samoan lineman.

On France...they are not going to lose on a neutral field...I actually think they are better on the road than at home. Just look...Germany routed them at their place but France took on Germany once they picked up some transfers they finshed third in the European Theater behind England. If they played in the East Asian Conference they would go undefeated...their strength of schedule hurt them big time.

[OklaU]

Here is how Hitler reacted to the BCS.  Hope it isn't un-ethical to post this...

Okay I took away the link to avoid getting in trouble...

But you can go to Youtube and type in Hitler Hates the BCS.  Now that's funny.

[OklaU]

If you knew it was out there, why didn't you bring it?

I didn't think it was that funny...not a war history guy anyways.

[Hawgrox]

Here is how Hitler reacted to the BCS.  Hope it isn't un-ethical to post this...

Okay I took away the link to avoid getting in trouble...

But you can go to Youtube and type in Hitler Hates the BCS.  Now that's funny.

OH!!!! The dreaded "Loose" misspelling! Germany will lose at least .500 points for that!

[Hawgrox]

I'm didn't think it was that funny...not a war history guy anyways.

I'm thought it was pretty funny!

[OklaU]

It hapens.

[Hawgrox]

It hapens.

I'm hipp...

[RazorBassin]

You can't measure a team in a rivalry game! You know that! China has beaten Japan in 9 of the last 11 Rice Bowls even thought Japan was favored in HALF of them! China is LIVING off the East Indonesian recruiting base and once Japan taps into that China may have to go into Polynesia for recruits. It's always risky going up against the Phillipines for a 4-Star Samoan lineman.

On France...they are not going to lose on a neutral field...I actually think they are better on the road than at home. Just look...Germany routed them at their place but France took on Germany once they picked up some transfers they finshed third in the European Theater behind England. If they played in the East Asian Conference they would go undefeated...their strength of schedule hurt them big time.

You may be right on France, but I think Japan chokes again as they are only favored by 4.  Japan suspended 3 of their Okinawain linemen because of team rule violations.  I think without those three hogmollies the speedy Chinese DE get to the Japanese QB often.  China wins the EAC CG for the 2nd straight year.

[nwa_razorback_coffee]

You may be right on France, but I think Japan chokes again as they are only favored by 4.  Japan suspended 3 of their Okinawain linemen because of team rule violations.  I think without those three hogmollies the speedy Chinese DE get to the Japanese QB often.  China wins the EAC CG for the 2nd straight year.

LOL  I think I could follow this better if I started sniffing the Liquid Paper again.

[Steef]

You may be right on France, but I think Japan chokes again as they are only favored by 4.  Japan suspended 3 of their Okinawain linemen because of team rule violations.  I think without those three hogmollies the speedy Chinese DE get to the Japanese QB often.  China wins the EAC CG for the 2nd straight year.

Well, obviously China has the size advantage. Their o-line averages 12,000,000 lbs! But their game management is just awful.

Japan has won every previous head-to-head. Not to mention what they did to the Russians in the HighSeas Bowl. Very scary.

[Maverick Razorback]

 

Your not seriously taking credit for this?  You didn't even come up with this.  Google it.

You dont seriously have a stick up your ass? You sure sound like it. Google it.

[hoggin25]

Nice, this is the kind of humor I enjoy stumbling over after fighting through threads and threads of terrible, recycled HDN jokes.

hahahahahahhahaha AGREED

[josh_sec33]

This is hilarious

[razorbacksR4ever]

http://bulletins.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bulletin.read&authorID=41098331&messageID=6238666953&MyToken=f927236e-7f85-4b8b-ba4c-5651782fb6e9

if this helps i posted this today on myspace ... as it was sent to me in a email ..... its nothing to get tore up about !

look at time of post compared to mine !

[kcabrozaR]

http://bulletins.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bulletin.read&authorID=41098331&messageID=6238666953&MyToken=f927236e-7f85-4b8b-ba4c-5651782fb6e9

if this helps i posted this today on myspace ... as it was sent to me in a email ..... its nothing to get tore up about !

look at time of post compared to mine !

Please add your user name ans password.

[razorbacksR4ever]

[razorbacksR4ever]

Date:  Dec 5, 2008 2:15 PM
Subject:  BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II 
Body:  BCS computers were put to work and declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.


"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland,France, Norway, Sweden,Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.
"

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.
"

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.
"

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.
"

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

[TarHeel]

The BCS needs to remember that instant replay wasn't being used during the 30's and 40's.  Plays weren't reviewable and you just had to accept the results.  If you got a ref that was maybe blond haired and blue eyed, you knew you probably were not going to get calls in your favor.

[razorbacksR4ever]

Why don't we just throw the Arcadian and spartans into the mix Or better yet lets just lets add WW1 and recalculate ?

[waphill]

Don't write off the North Koreans just yet. They are developing a new "Nuclear Wildcat" offense that could take the world by storm! They are my cinderella pick for sure.

[Steef]

Don't write off the North Koreans just yet. They are developing a new "Nuclear Wildcat" offense that could take the world by storm! They are my cinderella pick for sure.

That really could kill the notion of a 'balanced offense'.

[joeyself]

I don't know how the Germans will fare in the bowl game, though, with all their assistant coaches jumping for openings in the South American league.

JcS

[MuskogeeHogFan]

I like the humor. Good post. Very creative. I disagree with your conclusion about the BCS however. I suspect that you have a set of Longhorns hidden in your closet that you only bring out and wear when you are alone or a "select" group of friends come over.

[nwa_razorback_coffee]

I like the humor. Good post. Very creative. I disagree with your conclusion about the BCS however. I suspect that you have a set of Longhorns hidden in your closet that you only bring out and wear when you are alone or a "select" group of friends come over.

LOL

Actually, for today only, I am a Missouri Tiger fan.