Great Aggie Jokes thread

[NuttinItUp]

Actually, I wanted to go to A&M when I was applying to colleges, but it was harder to get into than the U of A, so I have got to say this Aggie "joke" (which is probably more truthful than the others):

Q: What do you call an Aggie after graduation?

A: Boss

[cpohog]

A Razorback and an Aggie were riding in a pick up truck,

The Razorback turned on the passenger turn signal and asked the Aggie to look and see if the turn signal was working.

The Aggie replied, "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no".

[Grunt]

They are the ugly dude that thinks he is hot stuff.  Plus they have male cheerleaders. 

Do we have male cheerleaders or when did it stop? i always thought, hey, they get to hang out with those girls. Frank was pretty good to A&M. He split with them his last 10 years. Boy, talk about some frustrating times.

[USAF Hog]

I saw in the papers that 4 Aggies died while drinking milk. The cow fell on them.

[Uncle_dad]

Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem and not College Station?

They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

[cessna8667]

Q:  Why don't the Aggies have ice water on the sidelines?

A:  The guy with the recipe graduated.

[cessna8667]

Q: How much does an Aggie pay for a haircut?

A: Four dollars,  one dollar per corner



Q:  How many Aggies does it take to paint a house?

A:  One to hold the brush and 2,736 more to turn the house.

[East Clintwood]

An Aggie calls a carpenter, "I need you to build me a box.  It needs to be 1 inch by 1 inch by 75 feet long.  Can you build it?"

Carpenter, "Yes, I can build that but that's very odd request.  Mind if I ask what it's for?"

Aggie, "My neighbor moved away a week ago.  Yesterday he called me and said that he'd forgotten and left his water hose in the back yard.  He wants me to ship it to him."

[grayhawg]

Aggies built a bridge in western Ok over a field.

After much teasing by Razorbacks they felt dumb.

When the Razorback said why not tear it down,

the Aggies replied "we can't, the Sooner football team fishes off it every day".

[DeltaBoy]

Us oldtimers do not hate the Aggies. We tolerate and feel sorry for them at times and we for sure become Aggie fans when they play Texas. To hate on someone we owned from the late 50's on would be classless. It just seems when something good is about to happen to them then something bad happens. !975 for example, they come to LR on top of the world thinking they were about to be crowned National Champs and they leave the Rock with a terrible beat down. I was glad to win but I did feel sorry for them. That was the first time I heard a Aggie joke that I got a belly laugh out of. The new definition of a dope ring? A Aggie football huddle + a lot more like it that week. No to build up a hate for them means they will have to compete with us better than they did in their past.

I agree I married into a Aggie family so I have fun when we play each other and I hollar for those Aggies every year when they beat TEXASS!

[Luke STYwalker]

I have as much hatred for them now as I ever did..  I hate their fans almost as bad as Tennesee fans..

[txkrazorback]

I think our foray with the Aggies will be a very classy one, I could easily see me drinking with some Aggie frat guys and talk shat about UT.
I think I speak for myself when I say, both the Aggies and Razorbacks don't mind stealing recruits from Texas

You could sit down with an Aggie and split Recruits. Let's say you have 12 recruits to divide evenly. Here's how it goes.

"One for Arkansas, none for you. Four for the Hogs and none for you. Eight for The Razorbacks and none for you."
The Aggie pipes up and says, "I think we may have a problem."
"What seems to be the problem?"
The Aggie looks a bit upset, then says,"Well, We've divided up three times.
And I feel I'm not being fair to you. After all, You haven't taken any nun's on your picks...."

[Hogs4Ever]

Hating any team from Texas we play:  It's the right thing to do.   

[Hogs4Ever]

I don't hate A&M, but their legions of younger fans don't understand the fact Arkansas has historically owned them.

The Hogs lost the last two time we played the Aggies.  The All-time record is in our favor:  38-23-3.

[WADHOG]

Not to rain on any parades but...
http://www.snopes.com/katrina/photos/aggie.asp

Knowledge is...power?

Yeah, right.

[txkrazorback]

The Aggies have really been trying hard on their Animal cloning processes in the Agri Animal Husbandry Department...

[txkrazorback]

[txkrazorback]

this is just classic...

[GixerTaz]

Did you hear about the aggie with the frost bitten fanny........ he could'nt figure out how to get his pants on over the ski's.

[schurc]

How do you get a one armed aggie out of a tree??

You wave at him!

[txkrazorback]

Actually, I wanted to go to A&M when I was applying to colleges...

Yeah, Be all you can be NuttnItUp...

[biggiepiggie]

In Texas they passed a law requiring all cars to have the light dimmer switch
on the floor, like they used to.  Too many Aggies killed by getting their
foot hung up in the steering wheel.

[tkhog]

I don't why y'all are hating. A&M is by far academically superior to UA.

[grayhawg]

Two Aggies went Deer hunting and killed a buck

they grabbed him by the back legs and began pulling him out of the woods

with antlers digging into the ground and hanging on brush the deer was extremly hard to drag

when they met another hunter he told them "the buck would be easier to drag if you grab him by the horns.

When they had pulled him by the horns for a while the 1st Aggie said "you know it is eaiser this way."

2nd Aggie says "yeah but ain't we getting further from the truck"?

[LA Football fan]

Why don't Aggies eat M&M peanuts?



They are too hard to shell.

[Tusks]

why are the ags tearing up the grass and putting down cardboard at kyle field.....









cause they always look better on paper.



txkrazorback thanks for the laugh.....you just turned a bad morning into a better one +1 to you.

[Uncle_dad]

How many Nutts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?   .........Oops!!!! Wrong thread!

[troyt37]

You know why God gave aggie fans 10% mor brains than He gave a horse?

He didn't want them crapping in the streets during parades.

[scootman]

Why do all the trees in Arkansas lean to the west? Because TEXAS SUCKS!

[The Lemming]

What is up with all these "for you old guy" posts lately? What's the deal? You can't post on a regular thread?

[hog 47]

Did you hear about the Aggie who walked into the doctor's office with a frog on his head?      Thedoctor said, can I help you.     The frog spoke up and said Yeah can you get this wart off my azz.

[Brownie Tuggle]

Why did the Aggie take his typewritter to the doctor? Because it kept missing it's period!

[hog49]

This still makes me laugh :

December 6, 1975  War Memorial Stadium  Little Rock, Ark

Aggies: undefeated and untied; #1 defense in the country; #2 offense in the country

Hogs 31  Aggies: 6 !!

Now that's funny!!!  If I can find the picture of the Aggies crying like babies on the sideline, I'll post it... It's hilarious...

[txkrazorback]

[txkrazorback]

Have you heard about the Aggie kamikaze pilot?
He flew 22 missions.

Then he ran out of Quarters

[longtimeHogfan]

                                          How 'bout this: 

                               

[Psychohog]

An Aggie and a Razorback had to cross the desert on foot. The Hog brought several canteens full of water, the Aggie came dragging a car door from a '57 Chevy.  When asked why, he said, " I knew it would be a hot trip, and I wanted to be able to roll the window down."

[tsgtred]

What did the Aggie do with his first fifty cent piece?

Married her.......

What is the longest four years of an Aggies life?

3rd grade

What do you get when you cross a pig with an aggie?

Nothing, there's some things pig won't mate with

Did you hear the aggie mafia is back in action........the other day they found four victims with their heads tied together and they were shot through the back of their hands

[hog49]

                                          How 'bout this: 

                               

That one was great!!  Weren't they getting ready for one of the hurricanes? 

I think I'm going to have to print all of these jokes.  They're great!!...I work with several Aggies...

[HOGansHero]

Some Aggie Fans were coming to visit their friends in Arkansas, and were going to attend the game between the HOGS and the Aggies together.  The Aggie friends said they would head that way two weeks earlier then the game so that they would have time to visit.. The friends from Arkansas gave them precise directions to their house...stating - "Keep your eyes on the signs and you will have no problems."

One week passed...still no sign of their Aggie friends.  The people from Arkansas were starting to get worried, so they contacted the State Police to see if they could look for them.

The next week went by and the Hog fans went to the game by themselves.  The HOGS won of course.  :razorback:

Finally, almost a week later their Aggie friends came to the door and rang the doorbell.  Upon opening the door, they could see their Aggie friends were tired, dirty and their clothes were ruined! 

They asked their Aggie friends - "What on earth happened to you!?"

"Well, we followed all the directions that you said on how to get here.  And we followed every sign as we travelled.  We came to that sign that said, "Clean Restrooms."  There must have been 180 of them. 

[El Puerco Grande]

Did you hear about the aggie that lost his toupe in a cow pasture? He tried on 14 before he found the right one.

[hog49]

When I was growing up in Arkansas in the '60's, I hated the Longhorns and never really gave the Aggies much thought.

Having played against both, I learned to hate the Aggies more!  They were classless on the field, much like the Miami Hurricanes of years past. They were trash-talking jerks..  It made it even sweeter to beat them... I have been told by quite a few Aggie fans, that I helped ruin their childhoods when we whipped the undefeated Aggies in 1975.  SWEET!!

Then, there are their cheerleaders....makes me hate them even more!!

[txkrazorback]

I think I'm going to have to print all of these jokes.  They're great!!...I work with several Aggies...

So....do you work here?

[hog49]

So....do you work here?

Kind of....I work/live in Texas.  That's about the same thing, right?  ;-)

[txkrazorback]

Did you hear about the Aggie driving down 35 who saw a sign that read "Hand-Pulled Beef-Jerky Next Right"?

His Court appearance is next week on charges or reckless-driving, lewd behavior and indecent exposure...

[dman]

We old guys know that a female at  a&m is called a Maggie.  A Maggie was sitting at a bus stop waiting for a bus, a little old lady sat down next to her and said "Deary your bosom is hanging outside your blouse," the Maggie said "Oh hell, I lost my baby again."

[ThisLittlePiggie]

This still makes me laugh :

December 6, 1975  War Memorial Stadium  Little Rock, Ark

Aggies: undefeated and untied; #1 defense in the country; #2 offense in the country

Hogs 31  Aggies: 6 !!

Now that's funny!!!  If I can find the picture of the Aggies crying like babies on the sideline, I'll post it... It's hilarious...

You mean Ed Simonini's "hog killing time" game?

[kgr]

Where do aggie jokes come from?

true stories

[hog49]

You mean Ed Simonini's "hog killing time" game?

Yep, that's the one!  This game is still a sore spot for those Aggie fans who remember this game...That fact makes it even funnier..

[ThisLittlePiggie]

In 1952 a really bad tornado tore through College Station, Texas and did $25,000,000 of improvements.