Crazy people you've met in the gym...

[Grag T]

I've been in various gyms for close to 20 years now and man, I think someone should start a comic strip about the walks of life you find in the gym.  I don't know what it is but I find more characters in the gym than anywhere else.

My favorite gym lunatic of all time would be a dude known as "Johnny Master".  No one knew his last name but he always wore a ratty old shirt with holes that he had eloquently written "MASTER" on the front with permanent black magic marker.  He was an alcoholic smoke-aholic pathological lying gay dude who lived with a guy who looked like an effiminate version of James Brown.  He always referred to his boyfriend/thing as "his Michelle." Johnny Master would always refer to himself in the third person too which was awesome.  A typical conversation with Johnny would go something like this:

Johnny:  "You know, I didn't never go to college.  But you know when I was in school I made straight A's cuz you know Johnny the best they is at whatever he do.  You know I'm sharp, you know dat.  And Johnny strong, my body won't let me lift light weight I can only lift heavy weight.  And you know, Johnny don't even eat.  When you saw me in here yesterday, well I went home after dat and started drankin'... and I didn't even quit 'til a half hour ago.  Hell I wish my Michelle would hurry up and pick me up, and he'd better have my cigarettes too."

It was just pure lunacy 

So I'm curious as to what wacky people you guys have seen in the gym over the years.  I can't be the only one who meets these people.

[Kenny Hawgins]

i had a guy that used to come into the gym i went to that was middle eastern and had neck length hair and an untrimmed beard; he looked like the geico caveman.  he'd load up bars with wayyy more than he could actually do, move it an inch, and rerack it.  he'd put like 405 on the bar for squats, go down slightly, and rerack it.  then one time, he put on a couple 45's on the bar with the clips and, with the bar sitting on his back, bends sideways on both sides.  never talked at all.  just came in, did that stuff for about 30 minutes, and left.

i've met so many wierd, lying, or oddball people at the gym though, it's hard to recall all of them.

there was another that i remember from when i was a little kid.  my dad was a top level powerlifter when we were living in shreveport and i'd always go with him.  there was this guy at the gym that was in a wheelchair they called mr. freeze and my dad wouldn't ever let me out of his sight when that guy was there; couldn't go to the bathroom alone, wander off, nothing.  come to find out, my dad's workout partner was walking behind the guy in his wheelchair one day when the guy's slightly open backpack fell from the back of his wheelchair.  apparently, a bunch of polaroid pics of little boys fell out and the guy lept from his wheelchair to hide them.  i found out that they called him mr. freeze after the term "freeze frame".  sick stuff.

[Grag T]

Mr. Freeze, HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAA!!!!!

There was also another character called "Manatice".  He was this big wooly mega fat dude that never wore deodorant a day in his life.  The name Manatice came from when he was filling out his application to the gym and the question for occupation came up and he misspelled the word "maintenance".  The North American Wooly Manatice perhaps still roams gyms today, stinking them up and peeling paint beyond repair.

[spe450]

At every gym, there is a guy who wears spandex shorts with a tucked in tank top.  Never fails.

There are also the old men who use paper towels to dry off after showering.

[Flying Razorback]

At every gym, there is a guy who wears spandex shorts with a tucked in tank top.  Never fails.

There are also the old men who use paper towels to dry off after showering.

And then just sit there on the bench buttass naked, the poor pine suffering and wishing they would at least set a towel down first.  They just sit there forever too, cracks me up.  I hope to be like that one day.

[Grag T]

Then there was Tricep Mike:  He would always be flexing his left tricep.  Not sure what the deal was with him, that's just the one thing he would always do.

[superior_wang]

these are all great, but ya gotta admit the biggest psychos in the house are the roid heads hawking vitamins and flax seed oil (the typical guys running the gym) , claiming their bods are all natural. Jesus if I had a nickel for every buck ive given Joe Weider et al over the years, I could probably be retired now.

[hogfan064]

Had a woman that used to be a man at a gym I used to work out at.  He/She was about 6'1 and had some awful surgery.  His/Her lips were huge and he/she had tatoos of stars all over his/her arms.  I never saw this person in a locker room, not sure which it would use.

Have an older man we call "Sarge" that dances on the treadmill while running.  It's the oddest thing I've ever seen.

[Grag T]

I met one dude who thought he was going to make a fortune selling "amino chewing gum" in stores but last I heard he was a diesel mechanic over in Iraq.

Another Johnny Master quote: One day there were some cute chicks working out and Johnny Master says "I don't like when there wommens in here, I can't work out right."  and I said "yeah hot chicks are distracting sometimes" to which he says "Naw it ain't that, they can keep that.  YOU KNOW I DON'T WANT NONE O' DAT."   Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha! 

That dude had broomsticks for legs but his upper body looked like Ronnie friggin' Coleman.

[Kenny Hawgins]

At every gym, there is a guy who wears spandex shorts with a tucked in tank top.  Never fails.

There are also the old men who use paper towels to dry off after showering.

we had the guy with spandex and a shoe-string tank top.  old guy and he didn't care at all.

[spe450]

we had the guy with spandex and a shoe-string tank top.  old guy and he didn't care at all.

Yeah, it is always the older guys.  They also tend to sport the 80's cut off sweatshirts and scrunchy socks.  And turquoise....lots of turquoise.

[Kenny Hawgins]

Yeah, it is always the older guys.  They also tend to sport the 80's cut off sweatshirts and scrunchy socks.  And turquoise....lots of turquoise.

this dude would tan at the pool at my apartment with just shorts and let everything hang out.  completely disgusting but the guy had no shame whatsoever and didn't care who saw his balls.  lol

[Hog Momster]

At every gym, there is a guy who wears spandex shorts with a tucked in tank top.  Never fails.

There are also the old men who use paper towels to dry off after showering.

They just forget to bring their own towel....


I knew a couple of guys at my old gym in NC.  I hope I can do them justice: one guy was blind, the other guy was his running buddy.  I never knew their names but this is how they worked out:

The guy who could see hardly ever spoke.  The guy who was blind chatted incessantly.  The blind guy would lay on the ground while the other guy would stretch his hamstrings.  I swear it looked like he was trying to push his leg over his head.  The guy who was blind would  be yelling: IT HURTS, IT HURTS!   The other guy: "shut up and STRETCH".

But the funniest part was when they would run on the indoor track.  The guy who was blind was tied with a long stretch of rope to the other guy.  Without ever speaking, the first guy would take off and jerk the other guy into running......bad enough, but when they turned corners, the guy who was blind and being led by a rope would swing wide...and clear all the other people off the track!  Little elderly people were jumping off the track left and right while the guy who was blind just carried on a conversation.

I don't think anything was quite as strange as that.  What I don't understand, is why they didn't each use a treadmill or elliptical machine?

[spe450]

I don't understand why some wear weight belts when it's an obvious arm day

[Buck Ocean]

These are all good.  Awesome thread.  The nicknames are just as good as the stories. 

I've got hundreds.  Real good ones.  But like i said, the names are just as good.

About 6 years ago, at the Village, me and my training partner were in the lockerroom.  This one guy (who had a real hot girlfriend but he was fat and rich) was soaking in the hottube.  He said to my training partner, "hey, chief, you think you could crank up my hottub?" pointing at the windback timer on the wall. 

My buddy didnt say a word, but went and cranked it up. 

As we walked away, my buddy says to me rather loud "I hate it when people call me 'chief'."

So from that point on, we referred to that fat rich dude as Chief Hot Tub.

[spe450]

We refer to a guy at the gym as Fat Ronnie Milsap...well, because he looks like a fat Ronnie Milsap, shades and all.

[Grag T]

Then there was Otto Butt-in-ski.  Otto would butt into everyone else's conversations because nobody wanted to talk to him... he was just the worst.

Otto was famous for being the cheapest guy alive.  The one date he had in college consisted of him taking a girl to Wendy's (which she paid for) and then going to his dorm room and watching The Little Mermaid, I kid you not.  He's probably still a virgin to this day.

[Buck Ocean]

Then there was Otto Butt-in-ski.

See what I mean?  The best nicknames ever!

[Buck Ocean]

You guys ever had someone overhear your name for them or their given nickname?  Sometimes they are derogatory.

I kid you not, I've had these characters overhear us calling them something and then they want to don the name publicly.

We got a renegade from California.  He's great shape.  I should post his photo.  He's 52 I think?  Lives in the past.  He boasts about doing shows, dating Playboy bunnies and owning his own lingerie shop.  He found his way to Arkansas because his wife left him after so many years.   Now he just resides with family and just lifts.  No job.  Well, we call this guy "American Iron" because he has it on a t-shirt, partaining to Harley Davidsons.  Plus hes a serious lifter, and the Iron part fits.  He overheard us calling him that back years ago.. Now, it has morphed into "A.I."    Just [CENSORED] awesome

[Grag T]

Oh, can't forget "Hollywood".  He used to go to the locker room and blowdry his hair in between sets.

[Buck Ocean]

Oh, can't forget "Hollywood".  He used to go to the locker room and blowdry his hair in between sets.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Buck Ocean]

When i first joined Golds, giving up the Village, we had a crew for the first few months of late aged gentlemen that wore the straight frame early 80s perscription glasses frames.  They had little hair, wore jeans & sweatshirts, carried dufflebags on the floor and carried a powerlifter like persona.  We called them the Anderson Brothers:  Arn and Ole, after the old wrestlers in the 4-horsemen days.  Soon after I joined, the gym came out with a 'no bags on the floor' rule and the dudes split.  I shine you not!

[Grag T]

Arn and Ole, 

There was one dude who was tall, skinny, and had this scroungy beard with no moustache, like the "Mose" character on The Office.  Looked like he just came in from the hills of Tennessee after going on a two week moonshine binge.   My buddy nicknamed him

"White Trash Abe Lincoln" haaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

[Ragnar Hogbrok]

Here in Jalalabad, we have "Gym Guy."  He's the guy that's always in the gym giving unsolicited advice and corrections and offers to spot, all while being fat and guzzling down the latest and greatest protein shake/supplement stack.

No one knows what he does....whether he's a contractor or military....but his fat arse is always at the gym bugging the heck out of you.

[Buck Ocean]

Here in Jalalabad, we have "Gym Guy."  He's the guy that's always in the gym giving unsolicited advice and corrections and offers to spot, all while being fat and guzzling down the latest and greatest protein shake/supplement stack.

No one knows what he does....whether he's a contractor or military....but his fat arse is always at the gym bugging the heck out of you.

This guy needs a name.  "Gym guy" is insufficient.  But don't search.  It will come naturally. 

[Buck Ocean]

Got a guy on the hefty side and he likes to focus on cardio.  He's about a once a week guy.  I've also got a buddy who likes to utilize the treadmill frequently.  So my buddy comes in the gym, sits his stuff down by the hefty guy's treadmill and goes over to the big industrial size fan and starts to point it toward the direction of the cardio.  The hefty guy says to my buddy, "Could you please not?  I could get pneumonia"

So this guys name is officially Pneumonia

[Grag T]

Got a guy on the hefty side and he likes to focus on cardio.  He's about a once a week guy.  I've also got a buddy who likes to utilize the treadmill frequently.  So my buddy comes in the gym, sits his stuff down by the hefty guy's treadmill and goes over to the big industrial size fan and starts to point it toward the direction of the cardio.  The hefty guy says to my buddy, "Could you please not?  I could get pneumonia"

So this guys name is officially Pneumonia

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

See wocraig, now that's how a nickname is birthed, lol.  Just notice some quirky behavior or quote from "gym guy" and there you go.  And best of all it'll stick forever. 

Also, I'm liking that Taliban count in your signature, +1

[Hog Momster]

Here in Jalalabad, we have "Gym Guy."  He's the guy that's always in the gym giving unsolicited advice and corrections and offers to spot, all while being fat and guzzling down the latest and greatest protein shake/supplement stack.

No one knows what he does....whether he's a contractor or military....but his fat arse is always at the gym bugging the heck out of you.

I'll have you know, I am professionally trained. 

[Ragnar Hogbrok]

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

See wocraig, now that's how a nickname is birthed, lol.  Just notice some quirky behavior or quote from "gym guy" and there you go.  And best of all it'll stick forever. 

Also, I'm liking that Taliban count in your signature, +1

I'll try and just let it happen naturally, but that's what everyone here calls him.

Oh, and as for the Taliban count, I've been on a dry streak for a while.  Once I broke 50, it seems like they gave up.

[Hog Momster]

I'll try and just let it happen naturally, but that's what everyone here calls him.

Oh, and as for the Taliban count, I've been on a dry streak for a while.  Once I broke 50, it seems like they gave up.

Come home safe!  How's the family? 

[twistitup]

Yep, there is a guy at the gym - weighs about 260# easy and is about 6'  3". Heworks on his upper body EVERYDAY and looks in the mirror obsessively. I have never seen a bigger upper body when compared to his toothpick legs. No joke, I have never seen this guy do ANY leg workouts - and it shows.

He is the most unbalanced out of whack dude I have seen....how can you look in the mirror, look like Atlas up top and like a 12yr old down low. It's crazy....him and his buddy will spot each other doing huge weight - but I would bet neither could do 315 on squats.

We call him Crazy Legs

[Ragnar Hogbrok]

Come home safe!  How's the family? 

Trying to come home safe, but just the other day an engine decided to quit on me.  Made for an interesting flight home.

The family is doing well.  I have a daughter that I am a complete stranger to, but she's just as beautiful as can be.  My son is doing well, also, and has started kindergarten and is loving it.  The wife is going crazy.  But that's normal, as you well know.

[DeltaBoy]

I don't remember the strange ones as much as the HOTT ones.   Had a late 20's to early 30's mom that showed us her High Beams and Camel toe every time she came in along with her 6.   Before you ask sorry no pics this was back at Golds in LR in the late 1980's

[Kevin27]

I know a guy at the gym that wears ankle weights every workkout.

He does no cardo or plyometrics. He just wears the weights while benching or doing curls. 

[Buck Ocean]

3 words:

BLUE JEAN WARRIOR

definition:  any ironhead or gym patron that chooses to work out in jeans. 

So we got a guy that works out with a previous mentioned character, American Iron.  AI's workout partner loves his jeans.  He's strong as an ox and a good guy to shoot the shine with and get your spot on your heavy lifts.  He claimed he was told by the owners to stop wearing the jeans.  He complied.  But after (I kid you not) 1 week of Adidas pants he told the owners to shove it up their ace and went back to the jeans!  We call this guy .....

ULTIMATE DENIM

[DeltaBoy]

My current gym only has hot coed's and Moms but no weird guys except a similar Jean wearer like Buck described.

[Grag T]

My current gym only has hot coed's and Moms but no weird guys except a similar Jean wearer like Buck described.

Hate to say it Delta but that probably means YOU'RE the resident weird guy 

[Grag T]

OZZY KNEIVEL

The dude looked like Ozzy Osbourne but his arms and legs were always in casts and slings and crap because he was constantly wrecking his motorcycle.  People said he used to train really hard when he was healthy and in one piece.




THE THINKER

This guy was kinda scary.  Big fat dude, really really fat.  He would sit at the bench press, just sit there for about 30 minutes.  Never said a word... just sit forever looking lost in thought.  Sometimes he may have sat for closer to an hour; maybe trying to focus on that upcoming set or something, who knows.  Finally the thinker would come out of his superlative concentration, do one set of bench presses (always 3 reps of 315) and then get up and go home.  That was it, one set. 

[Buck Ocean]

BUSINESS CASUAL

This guy comes in wearing the kaki Dockers and long sleeve knit poplin.  He wears training gloves.  He wears wingtips.  He wears wristwraps.  The shirt becomes untucked when he approaches the bench press.  And he sweats! On rare occasion, he unbuttons the longsleeve to reveal a white t-shirt, but never officially takes the longsleeve off.  Slacks remain creased.  Crazy.

AIR FORCE ONE

We got a term for guys that walk by you fast and graze your shoulder, almost wanting you to notice them.  Guys that steal your station and take your next one before you even get there.  Guys that try and do a circuit so fast they cant get out of their own way, but indeed they draw attention to theirselves.  We call them FLY-BYERS, after the movie Top Gun when Mav flies so close to the hard deck it spills the generals coffee.  Well, if you can imagine, we got one guy that leads the pack.  He gets so close he steps on your feet and kicks over your water bottle.  He'll ask you if your done after each and every rep.  AF-1.

[Buck Ocean]

RED LEGS

Got a guy, pretty fit kid around early 20s, that wears red Adidas pants....every workout.  Who knows whats under them.  Nobody does.  I dont think we've actually seen him do legs, but when the Adidas pants suck to the legs like when you are sitting in an upright chair, they dont look skinny.  Probably the most famous Red Legs phenomenon was when he came into the gym with a long sleeve work shirt on with the Adidas pants.  Dissappeared in the lockerroom, and came out with a sleeveless Nike shirt on....but the red pants never were taken off, nor were they changed for a different color.  He lived in them.

CIRCUIT SKUNK

The dude is a cook for a local cajun restaraunt.  He comes in on high-volume hour, like Monday's @ 6 pm He tries to superset the entire gym.  Keep in mind, he doesnt mark any station with a towel or water bottle.  He just expects you to know he's usuing them all.  The dude willinterupt your set, and say  "hay man, I gotta circuit going on, you mind if I work in?"  To make matters worse, he smells like severe butt crack residue.  And I guess to take it a step further, he thinks he's doing the gym a favor by carrying around his beach towel to cover up the stations, but he's just dragging his filthy odor on everything.  One time my workout partner thought the smell was coming from the trash can. So he took the trash can and set it about 15 feet away.  Then the smell got worse.  Turned out it was Circuit Skunk on the leg press machine.  One time he dragged his beach towel across the top of my water bottle.  I guess thats the most  absolute disgusting thing that has happened to me in my entire life.

[DeltaBoy]

I went in the morning the other day and we have a bunch of Old dudes wearing cut off T shirts, golf shorts and black socks  shoot one was wearing a pair of SAS shoes.

[1CavHog]

Here in Jalalabad, we have "Gym Guy."  He's the guy that's always in the gym giving unsolicited advice and corrections and offers to spot, all while being fat and guzzling down the latest and greatest protein shake/supplement stack.

No one knows what he does....whether he's a contractor or military....but his fat arse is always at the gym bugging the heck out of you.

haha I know exactly the type you are talking about. Go to a crossfit gym and it's 5 times as bad, I used to go to the Fort Hood crossfit gym in the morning but I got so tired of fat field grades wearing weight lifting shoes or five toe shoes critiquing everything anyone around them was doing and offering pointers.

[IronHog]

Some dude at my gym wears a sleevless T-shirt that looks to be 20 years old with a late 70's Z28 on the front.  He's always bumping into stuff, bumping into people and stuff, and talking to himself while apparently working his arms hard and stuff.

[1CavHog]

I guess I'm lucky, the gym I go to now everybody is pretty cool. Lot's of hot moms too on the treadmills and stairmasters.

[spe450]

We have a new one we call the spritzer.  For some reason, he feels the need to spray the stones every ten seconds in the sauna.

[Grag T]

I just remembered one of the best:

THE PIG PEN POSSE

These were about 3 or 4 dudes who didn't know the first thing about lifting but they'd come in once in a while and waste some time.  They dressed like ghetto trash and were so filthy it was like they had a dirt cloud around them like the "Pig Pen" character in the Peanuts comic.

Hopefully that's all I can remember.  So many weirdos... most are forgotten.

[kingofdequeen]

i may be one of these...

"THE SAUNA CONVERSATIONALIST"

when i had a sauna to go to frequently at the HPER, i couldn't stand sitting in there and not talking. ever.  sometimes it rubbed people the wrong way, sometimes it didn't.  but it was always quiet when i walked in, and never was while i was there.

TURN AND BURN

there as a middle eastern dude, overly harry and always buck-naked, who'd dump a fresh 20oz of water on the rocks, then leave 30 seconds later.  always sat tat the bottom, right next to the door.  i was always in the top corner, on the receiving end of his blasts.


BARISHNIKOV

again, the HPER sauna, this dude was a very svelt russian/eastern bloc guy.  that SOB NEVER talked.  but, he'd get up in the sauna, again, naked as hell, and would do ballet type standing streches the whole time he was in there.  looked like barre excercises. 

[Buff]

Some dude at my gym wears a sleevless T-shirt that looks to be 20 years old with a late 70's Z28 on the front.  He's always bumping into stuff, bumping into people and stuff, and talking to himself while apparently working his arms hard and stuff.

Bet he's quite the ladies man.

[GS99]

BARISHNIKOV

again, the HPER sauna, this dude was a very svelt russian/eastern bloc guy.  that SOB NEVER talked.  but, he'd get up in the sauna, again, naked as hell, and would do ballet type standing streches the whole time he was in there.  looked like barre excercises.

Assuming this was in the past decade or so, I know this guy and could tell you his name, but I'll respect his privacy (even though he walks around naked a lot).

[kingofdequeen]

Assuming this was in the past decade or so, I know this guy and could tell you his name, but I'll respect his privacy (even though he walks around naked a lot).

you know him, then.  this was 2005 ish.