Tennessee Coaching Search

[bigpigpimpin]

Tennessee : Hey John...would you like to be our new football coach?

John Gruden: lol

Tennessee : Dan? Would You?

Dan Mullen: No, I'm happy at Mississippi State. It's a great place.

Florida : Dan, would you like to be our new coach?

Dan: sure would. Get me outta here! I'll be on the next flight.

Tennessee: David Cutcliffe,  would you like to be the head Coach of the Vols?

David Cutcliffe: No, I would rather coach football at Duke. I would rather retire at Duke than coach Football at Tennessee.

Tennesee: Mike Gundy, we will double your salary to 8 million a year if you will leave Okie State to come be our coach. We know your over 40 now and that you're a man. We will even throw in a personal Hairdresser to help you maintain your mullett. You will be the 3rd highest paid coach in all of college football...whaddaya say?

Mike Gundy: Nope

Tennessee : Hi, Matt Campbell?..look, Iowa state is the worst job in the big 12. We want to give you a big raise and you can coach in the sec. Will you be our coach?

Matt: No Way. I would rather go 6-6 each year and freeze to death up here.

Tennesee : Hey Jim Bob Cooter! Yeah we know you are an offensive coordinator for the Detroit Lions....but it is Detroit. The most dangerous, run down city in America. You played QB for the Vols back in the day right? Awesome, we want you to come be our coach.

Jim Bob: I'd rather stay here, get mugged, and get my brains beat in by the Packers and Vikings. No thanks.

Greg Schiano? This is the University of Tennessee. Hey we know that you helped hide a pedophile at Penn State...but everyone should have forgotten about Sandusky by now anyway....wanna be our Coach?

Greg: sure!

Tennessee: just kidding. People are burning couches and marching with torches and signs. We can't figure out why. But you better run home to Ohio.

Tennesee: Hey Jeff Brohm, we saw that you have won a few games at Purdue. Instead of wallowing at the bottom of the Big 10 every year why don't you give Tennessee a shot. Besides, we think you would look good in orange.

Jeff: nah

Tennessee: Kevin Sumlin, we saw that you are recently unemployed.  Would you li.....

Kevin: Not interested.

Tennessee: But we....

Kevin: No!

Tennessee: but...

Kevin: 'click'

Tennessee : Coach Doeren? Hi, Tennessee here. We know that you are 15-25 at NC State, and you are on the hot seat and will probably be let go after next season. Why Not start fresh at Rocky Top?

Doeren: I'll pass

Tennessee: Hey Mike Leach....we will give you your own pirate ship in the end zone like the one at Tampa Bay and a shiny new sword. We will raise the Jolly Roger and you can fire the canons after touchdowns. What say you Matee?

Leach: No

Tennessee: Bret Bielema, we will install your very own Catfish Hole resturaunt in your back yard with an unlimited supply of hushpuppies. Now that's #uncommon. What say you?

Bret: that would be borderline erotic, but no.

Tennessee: Donald Trump? The University of Tennessee has an opening for head football coach. We think this would be a great job for you. Our colors even match your skin tone.

Donald Trump: That's fake news!

Tennessee: hello? Kim Jong Un? Tyrant leader of impoverished North Korea? This is the University of Tennessee. We want to offer you our head coaching job. We would like to offer you our nuclear package, with missles with range for you to take out our rivals in Florida. What say you?

Kim Jong Un: No. You no have nuff fiay powa!

Ok, I made the last few up.

[hoggusamoungus]

It's getting in their pocket.

https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/espns-darren-rovell-vols-coach-search-could-cost-50-million/