The Answer to All Our Football Woes!!

[Deep Shoat]

I called in sick to work today so I could work on this proposal so it would be ready to email to the BoT by the end of business today.  I am almost done with it, and wanted to run it by the smartest football minds I know.

So, you know how we never really seem to get over the hump?  We are just snakebit when it comes to football?  I think I've found the answer.

First, we need to fire CBB and Jeff Long.  This can't happen soon enough, because we need to move on the second part quickly before fall practice.

Second, we go out and hire the best coach we can find.  Probably one with a history of winning.  Someone like Saban, or if we can't get him, Belichek.  What?  Saban just signed a huge extension at Alabama?  Belichek is an NFL coach and wouldn't know how to recruit?  Ok, well, someone who has won big in another Power 5 conference.  Young, but experienced, and who has a reputation for developing players and getting them to the NFL.  You know, a perfect hire.

Then, we give him EXACTLY four years. Make sure he understands this.  Four years.  You win an SEC Championship and make it to the playoffs in no more than Four Years.  If he doesn't, fire his ass.  Fire his ass and hire another one.  And we give him the same ultimatum.  No one should need more than Four Years to win in College Football.

Oh, and we pay him no more than $1 Million/year until he wins a playoff game.

Take the time to give me some feedback here.  I want this to be perfect before I hit send at 5PM.

[Vantage 8 dude]

I called in sick to work today so I could work on this proposal so it would be ready to email to the BoT by the end of business today.  I am almost done with it, and wanted to run it by the smartest football minds I know.

So, you know how we never really seem to get over the hump?  We are just snakebit when it comes to football?  I think I've found the answer.

First, we need to fire CBB and Jeff Long.  This can't happen soon enough, because we need to move on the second part quickly before fall practice.

Second, we go out and hire the best coach we can find.  Probably one with a history of winning.  Someone like Saban, or if we can't get him, Belichek.  What?  Saban just signed a huge extension at Alabama?  Belichek is an NFL coach and wouldn't know how to recruit?  Ok, well, someone who has won big in another Power 5 conference.  Young, but experienced, and who has a reputation for developing players and getting them to the NFL.  You know, a perfect hire.

Then, we give him EXACTLY four years. Make sure he understands this.  Four years.  You win an SEC Championship and make it to the playoffs in no more than Four Years.  If he doesn't, fire his ass.  Fire his ass and hire another one.  And we give him the same ultimatum.  No one should need more than Four Years to win in College Football.

Oh, and we pay him no more than $1 Million/year until he wins a playoff game.

Take the time to give me some feedback here.  I want this to be perfect before I hit send at 5PM.

Too bad you called in with the fib saying you were sick if THIS is the best you can come up with. Then again, if this is any indication of the "high quality" of work perhaps your place of employment actually benefited greatly from your false illness. Something tells me the nation's GDP rose at least 1% today as a result.  One last thing: I'm just SHOCKED, I tell you, SHOCKED that this whole thread was relegated so quickly to the trash heap. 

[BigoBoys]

You should have went to work.

[RebelliousHog]

I'll be more blunt.

It's a silly ass idea.

[Vantage 8 dude]

I called in sick to work today so I could work on this proposal so it would be ready to email to the BoT by the end of business today.  I am almost done with it, and wanted to run it by the smartest football minds I know.

So, you know how we never really seem to get over the hump?  We are just snakebit when it comes to football?  I think I've found the answer.

First, we need to fire CBB and Jeff Long.  This can't happen soon enough, because we need to move on the second part quickly before fall practice.

Second, we go out and hire the best coach we can find.  Probably one with a history of winning.  Someone like Saban, or if we can't get him, Belichek.  What?  Saban just signed a huge extension at Alabama?  Belichek is an NFL coach and wouldn't know how to recruit?  Ok, well, someone who has won big in another Power 5 conference.  Young, but experienced, and who has a reputation for developing players and getting them to the NFL.  You know, a perfect hire.

Then, we give him EXACTLY four years. Make sure he understands this.  Four years.  You win an SEC Championship and make it to the playoffs in no more than Four Years.  If he doesn't, fire his ass.  Fire his ass and hire another one.  And we give him the same ultimatum.  No one should need more than Four Years to win in College Football.

Oh, and we pay him no more than $1 Million/year until he wins a playoff game.

Take the time to give me some feedback here.  I want this to be perfect before I hit send at 5PM.

Guessing that since we haven't seen any further lunacy-based rants that you've gone back to work. Extremely  fortunate for us; however, a total disaster for them.

[PorkSoda]

He obviously plagiarized this from hogville.  I'm pretty sure I can find each of his ideas word for word in a number of MMQB threads.

[husker71]

I like you "can do" spirit     Operation ruin the Hogs forever  should commence immediately and if it is as successful as I think it can be I hope someone will name the football field after you.  Congratulations to you Debbie Wasserman Schultz

[DLUXHOG]

You're trying to whittle when there's no wood left....  silly, no, inane idea...

[DeltaBoy]

Pay the players and gets some gals from the 7 veils to entertain the recuits!

[East Clintwood]

Gruden!

[goodguytex]

I called in sick to work today so I could work on this proposal so it would be ready to email to the BoT by the end of business today.  I am almost done with it, and wanted to run it by the smartest football minds I know.

So, you know how we never really seem to get over the hump?  We are just snakebit when it comes to football?  I think I've found the answer.

First, we need to fire CBB and Jeff Long.  This can't happen soon enough, because we need to move on the second part quickly before fall practice.

Second, we go out and hire the best coach we can find.  Probably one with a history of winning.  Someone like Saban, or if we can't get him, Belichek.  What?  Saban just signed a huge extension at Alabama?  Belichek is an NFL coach and wouldn't know how to recruit?  Ok, well, someone who has won big in another Power 5 conference.  Young, but experienced, and who has a reputation for developing players and getting them to the NFL.  You know, a perfect hire.

Then, we give him EXACTLY four years. Make sure he understands this.  Four years.  You win an SEC Championship and make it to the playoffs in no more than Four Years.  If he doesn't, fire his ass.  Fire his ass and hire another one.  And we give him the same ultimatum.  No one should need more than Four Years to win in College Football.

Oh, and we pay him no more than $1 Million/year until he wins a playoff game.

Take the time to give me some feedback here.  I want this to be perfect before I hit send at 5PM.

No coach in his right mind would go anywhere near a job ultimatum like that. That idea may have sounded really great in your head, but for your own sake, in your head is where it needs to stay.

[Three and Snout]

[riccoar]

I called in sick to work today so I could work on this proposal so it would be ready to email to the BoT by the end of business today.  I am almost done with it, and wanted to run it by the smartest football minds I know.

So, you know how we never really seem to get over the hump?  We are just snakebit when it comes to football?  I think I've found the answer.

First, we need to fire CBB and Jeff Long.  This can't happen soon enough, because we need to move on the second part quickly before fall practice.

Second, we go out and hire the best coach we can find.  Probably one with a history of winning.  Someone like Saban, or if we can't get him, Belichek.  What?  Saban just signed a huge extension at Alabama?  Belichek is an NFL coach and wouldn't know how to recruit?  Ok, well, someone who has won big in another Power 5 conference.  Young, but experienced, and who has a reputation for developing players and getting them to the NFL.  You know, a perfect hire.

Then, we give him EXACTLY four years. Make sure he understands this.  Four years.  You win an SEC Championship and make it to the playoffs in no more than Four Years.  If he doesn't, fire his ass.  Fire his ass and hire another one.  And we give him the same ultimatum.  No one should need more than Four Years to win in College Football.

Oh, and we pay him no more than $1 Million/year until he wins a playoff game.

Take the time to give me some feedback here.  I want this to be perfect before I hit send at 5PM.

You left one other caveat out.  We need to join the Big 12 so we can win 10-11 games a year again.  Or the Sun Belt if we want to go undefeated.